Tears

In this moment, life is bitter. It's dinner time, and I can't get my mum to eat. I can hear her whispering something from across the table, glaring at me, and growling as I tried to get her to eat. She snatched the fork from my grip and threw it at me, sending food flying. The fork sunk into the my shoulder, causing me to flinch. I pulled the fork out of my shoulder, and continued to try and get the unstable woman to eat. She continued to throw food at me. I groaned and stood up, "Fine, you vile witch!" I shrieked, "Starve!" She threw the plate at my head, and I ducked. It shattered against the wall, a shard of glass catching my cheek.
I stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the glass on the floor, and the food on the wall. I walked out the front door, muttering swears under my breath. "Fuck you... fuck me... fuck this... fuck life." I hissed. I noticed that there were moving vans out on the street. Lovely... New neighbors. Our old ones from across the street were bad enough. Their kids always came over just to beat the shit out of me.
I pouted a little as I watched people unload the van. I pushed a cigarette to my lips, lighting it with my shaky hands, or at least trying to... It was a bit too windy out for the flame to stay lit long enough for the cigarette to catch.
Suddenly a pair of pale hands cupped the flame, allowing me to light the stick pressed between my thin, cracked lips. "Thanks." I mumbled around the filter. I drew in a deep breath, and looked up. In front of me stood a tall boy with pale skin, hazel eyes, and long greasy black hair. He was dressed nicely in black skinny jeans, a black dress shirt, and a red tie. "No problem." His voice was smooth, and dark. It made the hairs on my arms stand up. "Do you have a box cutter?" He asked.
I exhaled the breath of smoke I was holding, "Yes." I answered, making no move to go and get it. After a moment of standing there, he spoke again, "Can I borrow it?" I stared at him for a few seconds longer before answering, "No."
He pouted a little at me, and it made my jeans tighten a little. What the fuck, Frank!?
"Why?"
I took another breath of the cigarette, "Because the hardware store is about a block away, and twenty times more friendly." I replied, a smirk creasing my lips. I laughed a little, and turned to go back inside.
He huffed, stomping his foot like a spoiled five year old child, before pushing his pale, thin fingers through his slick hair and saying, "Fine..." He then spun on his heels and stomped off. "What a little prick." I murmured. He was probably thinking the same damn thing about me right now.
I finished the cigarette, and flicked the filter away. I turned to go back inside but a hand caught my shoulder. I turned around to see a blonde haired boy holding my shoulder. I shrugged his hand away and frowned, "What do you want?" I hissed. "I was just wondering when school started..." He said quietly. "7:20." And then I walked inside, slamming the door in his face then making my way towards the stairs.
I heard my mum starting to scream. "ALL YOUR FAULT!" She shrieked, her high pitched wailing hurt my ears, so I clapped my hands over my head and ran upstairs, and into my room, shutting and locking the door.
I slouched against my bed for a few moments before standing up and turning on my CD player. I had a Misfits album in right now. I then went to fish through my dresser drawers, desperately trying to find something. When my hand met cold metal a smile creased my lips. I withdrew my razor from the mess of clothes and sat back down on the floor. I made ten shallow cuts on my left arm and watching the blood bead up in the wounds.
This had become a regular habit.

I woke up the next morning at 5:12, as usual. It was like my body had a natural alarm clock or something. I slowly got to my feet, as I had fallen asleep at the foot of my bed, and my back was killing me.
I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I checked to make sure the water was warm before stripping off my clothes that I had neglected to take off yesterday. I hated sleeping in my clothes...
I stepped in the shower, making haste. I quickly washed my body, then transitioned to shampooing my thick hair before pushing conditioner around on my scalp. The shower took maybe five minutes.
I shut off the hot spray, and grabbed a towel. I dried my body off before walking over to the mirror to apply my eyeliner. I stood there for a moment examining my reflection.
I was a short boy with pale, almost white skin. Tattoos littered my chest and arms. I had a messy head of black-brown hair that currently clung to my slightly chipmunk-like cheeks. My eyes were dark and sunken. Their color was hazel, but they looked drained of life. I had a slim build, not muscular but no beer belly. I had a semi-decent... package... about five inches in length... normally. So, more then decent I guess. Five inches is the average erect length for a man. Ha... but there was nothing too special about me...
I applied my eyeliner, and then I went off to my room to get dressed.
I checked the time as I walked into my room, 5:52. Wow I had spent a while in the bathroom... I rummaged through my clothes, and finally decided upon an outfit. I pulled on a clean pair of boxers, and grabbed pants, a shirt, and some socks. My shoes were by the door, and my jacket was down stairs.
After putting on the boxers and the socks, I began the chore of worming into the bright red skinny jeans I had selected.
Someone knocked on my bedroom door.
My eyes glazed over with confusion as the black haired neighbor boy walked into my room, laughing at me as I pulled the jeans over my slender hips. "Yes?" I said, folding my arms over my bare chest.
"My mom told me to offer you a ride to school, and your mom threw a book at me when she answered the door." He had a bruise forming on the right side of his jaw.
"Yeah, sure, okay." I said, turning around to find the shirt I had tossed onto my bed. I could feel him staring at me, examining my inked skin. I tried not to squirm under his gaze as I pulled on my wrinkled Smashing Pumpkins shirt, and turned back to him.
I grabbed the purple converse from the door and pulled them onto my feet. I pushed past my neighbor, who's name I haven't yet learned, and walked down the stairs. I grabbed my jacket, my gloves, and my bag on the way out the front door.

I sat awkwardly in the passengers seat of my neighbors Jaguar. The silence was extremely nerve racking as we waited for their mom to get in the damn car. She slid into the drivers seat and offered me a friendly smile. "I'm Rebecca. Rebecca Way." She told me in an overly cheery voice.
"I'm Frank."
Then the boys spoke, "I'm Mikey!" The blonde one introduced himself.
"I'm Gerard." The black haired boys voice still didn't fail to make my skin prickle.
I stayed silent the rest of the trip. A pale hand stayed rested on the back of my seat the entire time. As soon as we reached the school I grabbed my bag and hurried out of the car, saying goodbye to Mrs. Way as I scurried off.
Calls of, "Look who decided to show up today!" and "Hey princess!" assaulted my ears as I made my way to the front doors. I didn't bother looking back, because I knew who was speaking.
Then I heard yelling.
I turned back to see that Gerard has hoisted one of the boys that had spoken off the ground by the front of his shirt to bring him to eye level. "Maybe you should shut your mouth and run along before I get angry." I heard him growl.
Mikey was trying to get his brother to put the boy down.
After a moment, Gerard dropped the boy and he ran off, looking frazzled.
I ran inside.
Almost instantly I was pushed up against a row of lockers, "Hey fairy!" The boy, Drake sneered in my face. "Ever heard of breathmints?" I responded, earning myself three heavy blows to the stomach. "See ya at lunch, fag!" And with that, he and his stupid friends walked off down the hallway.
Then Mikey was helping me to my feet, while shouting for Gerard to come back. "You guys probably shouldn't be seen anywhere near me." I warned him. "I'll be fine on my own." Mikey frowned, "Fine, don't accept help, but my brother and I are here if you need us." And with that, he ran off after Gerard.

Gerard and Mikey became pretty popular, pretty fast. Mikey was a really likable person, Gerard, not as much, but all the girls swooned over him. It was pathetic. Currently it was lunch time, and I was out behind the school, hanging from a branch of a very creepy looking tree. About eight feet, directly across from it, stood another tree that wasn't as foreboding. I went to this tree at lunch to avoid the beatings.
Ray sat beneath me, reading a book, while Patrick leaned against the knotted bark, talking about something that the drama club was doing. Ray and I both had cigarettes pressed between our lips, but Patrick wasn't one for smoking. Even at the age of seventeen, he was the most innocent person I've even met. He hasn't even shared his first kiss yet.
I always made sure to protect Patrick over everyone else, because he was vulnerable.
Ray and Patrick were my best friends, and besides them, I only had two others. Patrick was sweet, and abused. He had one other friend besides Ray, and I, and the other two. A boy named Pete. The rest of us didn't know Pete too well, because he usually skipped school, but Patrick seemed to like him well enough. Ray was deep, and thoughtful. He was always reading, and he only really ever spoke to me or Patrick.
As we sat there (or in my case, hung there) chatting, a black haired figure, Gerard, wandered out towards us. Ray pointed, and I tilted my head to see that Gerard had his face about three inches from mine. "Mind if I join you?"
We all stared at him for a moment, speechless.
Patrick broke the silence, his voice quiet, and scared, "But uh... you'r a popular." He pointed out, "if anyone sees you with us, you'll be associated with us, and then everyone will think your fags, like us." Gerard seemed confused as Patrick rambled on. "What..?"
Patrick opened his mouth to speak again, but Ray beat him to the punch. "I'll make this real simple for you, because you don't seem real bright. We're the outcast. You're on the island of misfit toys right now. No one likes us because this school is full of a bunch of homophobic's. All of us that gather here at lunch are proudly and openly gay. If someone sees you with us, the whole school will think you are too."
Gerard laughed. "Let them think what they wish."
Ray offered a meek smile. "Cigarette?" Gerard hesitantly took one, and almost lit the wrong end. Even Patrick laughed at him. Ray took the cigarette out of his mouth, and switched it so the filter was in his mouth, "Try that." He suggested. Gerard blushed furiously and lit the stick pressed between his lips.
I pulled myself up onto the branch, then jumped down in front of Gerard as he began to cough. "You've never smoked before." I commented. He nodded.
"I'm Patrick!" My ginger haired friend chimed in. Gerard smiled. "I'm Gerard." They shook hands, and then Gerard turned to Ray, "I'm Ray." The boy said, not looking up from his book. Gerard pursed his lips for a moment the rolled his eyes. "Nice to meet you."
I was about to open my mouth to speak, when suddenly the cigarette was plucked from between my lips, and someone kissed me sloppily. I heard Brendon laughing, and then made the connection. I knew who was attacking my face.
"Get off of my Ryan!" I said with a loud laugh.
Ryan backed away, and then took a long draw from my cigarette, and then popped it back in my mouth. Gerard was staring at Ryan like he was the most interesting thing on earth before saying, "You bumped into me in the hall way and..." He shook his head, cutting off. Ryan simply smirked and traced a bite mark on his wrist with his index finger. "Our skin is forever bonded now." Ryan was a bit of a weirdo.
Gerard shuddered a little, but then looked over to Brendon. "That's Ryan, and I'm Brendon." The boy introduced.
I examined my friends.
Patrick was the shortest of us all, I think he stood at about five feet tall. He had pale skin like mine, but he didn't have any ink. To compliment his pale skin, he had about shoulder length ginger hair that framed his cheeks, which where chipmunkish like mine. He had lively green eyes that always shone bright with laughter. He was always so happy which baffled me, because he had such a shitty home life. He always smiled no matter how bad the bruises or cuts were. He loved showing off his pretty white teeth. His lips were smooth, and pinkish. They weren't chapped and cracked like mine, but they were actually pretty full, and sometimes I admittedly fantasized about kissing him. To top him off, he had a cute button nose. I really liked his nose.
Today Patrick wore a long sleeved shirt that was red and black striped, and a black hat that had red words on it, and a red rim. It was a baseball hat. He also wore a pair of loose fitting black skinny jeans that were rolled up around his ankles because they were too long for him. On his feet he wore a pair of worn red vans. His long sleeves were rolled up to about his elbows, displaying his slightly fuzzy arms.
I watched him use the knotted tree roots to help him reach a low hanging branch, the same branch I had been on, and pull himself up. He sat on the branch with a half written script in his hand, one leg dangling off the branch.
Ray was a taller boy, slightly shorter then Ryan, but slightly taller then Gerard. I think he was like, 5'10". He had slightly tanned skin, and again, no ink. He had an afro-ish head of hair. The frizzy material was mousy brown. Ray had eyes that kind of matched his hair. They where slightly darker brown though. They were always full of thought. He rarely smiled though. His lips were always pressed into a thin, cracked frown, like mine. His nose was a bit thicker and kind of prominent, but it suited him I think.
Ray wore an Iron Maiden tee-shirt that badly needed to be ironed, and over that he had a simple black hoody with the sleeves rolled up. He wore a pair of ripped and faded blue jeans, and black combat boots.
He sat under Patrick, amongst the twisted roots of the tree, back against the trunk. He was about half way through his book at this point. He had his back up against the trunk of the tree, and a fresh cigarette pressed between his thin lips, and was just now starting to light it up. He breathed out the smoke.
Gerard, like I said, was just a bit shorter then Ray was. He was 5'9" I think. He had paper white skin, it looked like it had been bleached or something. He had shoulder length, raven black locks that hung around his thin face, accenting his skin, which accented his dark hazel eyes that didn't reflect much emotion. He had thin pressed, cracked lips like mine, and an adorable pixie nose. What a cute little nose.
He was wearing an old Misfits shirt, the pattern on the front was fading. The shirt looked a bit small for him. He wore really tight black skinny jeans that did NOT leave much to the imagination. He wore a pair of black kjellins, a Swedish sneaker that were really nice. I admired the shoes for a moment.
He stood across from me, leaning against the tree that was across from our creepy looking tree. His arms were folded across his chest and he was staring at me, a small smile creasing his lips.
Brendon stood at a medium height, about 5'7" I think. He had pale skin like Gerard and I. His eyes stood out against his skin, they were a dark chocolate brown, and rimmed with thick eye liner. His hair was messy and short, the color was brown like his eyes, but it was a little lighter then his eyes. Brendon had full pink lips that were soft, and smooth. His nose was thinish, and kind of sharp.
He wore a pair of black skinny jeans, what a surprise. His skinny jeans weren't as tight as Gerard's, but not as loose as Patrick's. He also wore a white button down shirt, and over that he wore an open silk purple vest. For shoes he had rather beat up black vans.
He was climbing over Patrick, trying to get to a higher branch.
Ryan was definitely the tallest out of all of us, though he only stood a little taller then Ray. He was like 5'11" I think. He had a skinny, wirey build with long arms, and long legs. He always painted his pale skin, especially his face, with an interesting design. Like Brendon, Ryan had brown eyes (and really really long eyelashes), and shaggy brown hair. He also had full pink lips, and they were smooth and soft. I didn't mind kissing him.
Ryan wore an off white flannel shirt under a sky blue vest, which he wore open. He wore a pair of royal blue skinny jeans that, like Gerards, left very little to the imagination. He had on a pair of dirty white converse to complete the outfit. Ryan was fairly attractive if I'm being absolutely honest.
Ryan sat next to Ray, lighting up his own cigarette, then handing the lighter back to Ray with a small smile.
Suddenly Ryan began to laugh.
It must have been contagious because soon Brendon was laughing.
Then Patrick was laughing.
Then Ray was laughing.
And then Gerard started laughing.
Finally so did I.
After everyone calmed down, Ray glanced at his watch. "Lunch is almost over." He commented. Everyone got to their feet, gathering their things before returning back to the cafeteria, and then we all went off to our classes.
I had English with Ryan.

Notes

So, I don't know where I got this idea, but I liked it, and I've been writing it, and sorry for the long, nonsense filled chapter, but I needed to get things going. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I think I'm going to while writing this! I love you all, and have a fantabulous night.

Comment, rate, subscribe and all that nice stuff while you're at it!