Divided

Jane's POV.

I heard the gunshot, but then I heard nothing else. No voice, no movement, nothing...
I couldnt move. My feet were pinned to the floor I was standing. Gerard's phone fell from my hand.
When what just happend finally hit me, I ear piercing scream ripped through my throat. The room exploded around me. The windows and mirrors shattered completly, the books burst into flames and the lightbulbs exploded.
The pain was to much. I fell on my knees still screaming. I felt like, my heart was being ripped off my chest and I was being tortured at the same time. I could feel more tears rushing down my cheeks. I was sobbing uncontrollably, my body was shaking. Gerard was shouting at me on the other side, ordering me to open the door, but I didn't listen.
Frank was gone... The one thing, in my entire life, that ever made sense to me, was gone forever. I've been waiting my whole life, for someone like him, and now, just like that, he was taken away from me...
"I can't live without him... I just can't... This can't be happening... It's all a dream... It's just a dream..." I thought to myself.
I bend down on my stomach, putting my forehead to the floor and wrapping my arms my torso, afraid I might fall apart. I stayed like that until I couldn't cry or scream in pain anymore.
When my tears dried, I liffeted my head and sat down on the floor. I looked around my exploded room.
"It's not a dream.. It's real... Frank is gone... And Andrew is still..." The thought of him made me shiver. There was no way I would do this. He wouldn't come close to me again. "If I'm not allowed to be with Frank in this life, then by the Earth, we would be together in the next..."
I stood up and walked over to what remained of my destroyed desk. I found a scorched piece of paper and a pen and wrote,

"To my brothers,
I forgive you both for everything. I understand now that you were just doing what was expected of you. But I can't do what you want me to do. In return for my forgiveness, I ask only that you forgive me for what I'm about to do.
I love you both with all my heart,
Jane."

I placed the note on my bed and turned to the door. Gerard was still asking me to open it. When I did, he stared at me wide eyed as I walked right past him without saying a word.
"Jane? What happend? Where are you going?" He asked, but I didn't answer. I started going down
the stairs. I was determined to put an end to all of this. Nothing would stop me. I could still hear Gerard calling my name, asking me where was I going. As soon as I opend the front doors and stepped outside I started to run as fast as I could.
"I'm going to end this tonight, and nothing can stop me..."

The last time I've been to the cliffs was before I left for New York. I came up here to say goodbye. I always loved coming up here and just stare at the scenery. It was the most beautiful view I had ever seen in my life. When I was up here, it almost felt like everything made sense, that life did have a purpose, even though I didn't see it. During the day, you could see the entire forest, the mountains, the town, and the massive clear blue sky. During the night, the only light visible was the street lights from the town, the rest was just massive darkness, the moon and stars... Thousands of stars...
I looked up at the sky and sighed, "I would have brought Frank here... I think he would have liked it..." I thought. Then I looked down, into the large dark abyss that was at the end of the cliff. I couldn't see what was down there, but I was pretty sure that it was rocks.
"The last time I was up here was to say goodbye before I went and start a new life... It's seems almost poetic to end my new life, in the same place I promised to turn it around..." I thought back to before the summer started, my life in New York, my apartment, my books, the university, the people I met there, my hopes and dreams. Then I thought about my first day back home, the same day I met Frank. I thought about the way he looked at me, the way he smiled, the way he kissed me, the way he touched me. I thought about when we made love for the first time, the way I felt when I was with him, the way he said "I love you"...
"How could my life change so fast, in the course of a few weeks? If you think about it... I think I've only been home for 3 weeks... maybe less... How is this possible?! How could I have fallen in love, been tortured and lost the love of my life, in the short time space of 3 weeks?! It seems unreal!!"
But none of it matterd now... My life at this point is what it is, and there is no changing it back. Frank was gone... But I was going to be with him...
As I started to cry again, thinking back to everything that happend, that led up to this point, I stepped closer to the edge. The tip of my all stars were at the end of it. The wind rushed through my hair. I took a deep breath...
"It's time"

Notes

Ok, so I know that this part is a little different than what I wrote in the summary, but I just thought that this looks a lot better like this... I'm sorry, but creativity spoke louder this time...
hope you enjoy this new chapter!
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A lot of love to all of you!!!