Before The Sun Goes Down

Gerard drives them to a forest.
They get out of the car, linking hands. As usual, Frank's senses become slightly overwhelmed, whereas Gerard is used to the abundance of things that are magnified to them. Frank has to stop his eyes swivelling around and his head moving at ever sound, like some ants walking underneath some undergrowth.
“There's a lot of activity out here today, isn't there?” Gerard nods, slightly concerned. He sucks in air, a habit he'd picked up from Frank.
“There sure is, Frank, there sure is...” He looks around, opening his mind. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, apart from the large amount of raucous. He shrugs, looking down at Frank. “I can't sense anything wrong, so let's just get on with it, yeah?” Frank tries to hide an excited smile, but fails, and nods.
The pair walk through the trails, getting far enough away from the entrance so that no-one will stumble across them unless they're well acquainted with the forest. Gerard instructs Frank on what to do, and they both get hunting.
Frank still wants to know what their date is going to be like, so he mentally pesters Gerard. Gerard doesn't give away any information though.
Frank manages to catch some deer, and Gerard a buck. They drink, enough so they probably won't have to go hunting for a while. Gerard bags the remaining blood from the deer, and they go home.
They reach their house, Frank slotting the blood in the fridge.
“Baby, I'm going to go out for a while so I can prepare a few things, okay?” Gerard hugs Frank from behind, speaking into his neck. Frank shivers, nodding.
“Don't be too long, though...” Gerard can sense his unrest.
“Of course I won't, my dearest.” Frank giggles, turning around.
They kiss, Gerard trying to reassure Frank through it. Gerard moves some hair out of Frank's face, kissing his forehead.
“I won't be long, and when I get back, we'll go on that date, okay?” Frank nods, pulling out of the embrace.
“Okay, Gerard.” He sighs, giving Gerard one last kiss.
Gerard walks to the door, and before leaving, he grins and blows Frank a kiss. Frank smiles, leaning back on the counter.
The door closes, and Frank's smile drops. He just feels sad for no real reason. There are plenty of reasons for him to be sad, but none of them fit at this particular moment. He just stares into space for a while, then starts restlessly walking around the house, trying to avoid thinking of the alcohol in the cupboards.
He walks into the lounge, sitting down. He changes his position numerous times, until he's lying backwards off the couch, his head dandling downwards. He looks around the room, his eyes falling upon something. He closes his eyes, breathing in.
I will not take any. I will not take any, he repeats to himself. His eyes open, seemingly locked upon the drugs. As if on autopilot, he slides off the couch and moves over towards the drugs. He sighs, disappointed in himself.
He looks around the room, his eyes shifting guiltily.
He picks up the heroin, the needle glinting. He bites his lip, looking away. Just one more time...
He tries to convince himself that it's not that bad, that loads of people do it, that it's probably considered quite normal to some people. Trying to relieve his guilty conscience, and it works. He shrugs, licking his lips.
He does as Bobby showed him, using the same needle, because he thinks that it shouldn't be dangerous if it's only him using it. He injects himself, the affect taking longer to hit because he drank blood a while ago.
Once it does hit, though, he feels content. He lies on the floor, staring at the ceiling. A warmth spreads through him, making him feel safe. He lazily plays with his hair, a smile on his face. He feels like nothing bad could happen to him.
The hours pass, the drug working slower than it did the first time because the blood in his system has stopped circulating quickly and is slowly being absorbed. He barely hears the door open, the footsteps walking through the house. He feels nothing but happiness when he spots the red hair out of the corner of his eye.
But Gerard definitely sees him. And he definitely doesn't smile when he sees him, lying on the floor. His eyes glazed over and with a stupid grin on his face. Anger burns through him. Frank also doesn't register this and continues smiling.
Gerard can't do anything but stand in the doorway, flowers in his hands, anger burning through him. He drops the flowers, suddenly feeling choked up. He doesn't know how much more he can take. Frank starts talking, he talks lazily and slightly slurred.
“Hey... Gerard...” He sits up, laughing to himself when he slips slightly and almost falls back down. Gerard just stares at him, his face twisted with sadness.
Dizziness takes Frank over, so he closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall.
“I feel kind of dizzy, you know? But I feel good.” Gerard shakes his head, closing his eyes too.
“Just...” He can't think of anything else to say.
There's silence for a while as the drugs wear off. The dizziness passes, so Frank opens his eyes and looks at Gerard. Panic flashes through Frank, the haziness of the drug finally wearing off, making Frank realize that he's fucked up, once again.
Gerard hears Frank's movement so he opens his eyes. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at Frank with a profound disappointed look on his face. Frank stares back. They say nothing, and during that time, Gerard makes up his mind.
He's just going to pretend that everything is okay for tonight. Give Frank a date. Make him happy. Make him realize what he'll be missing if he fucks it up. The tomorrow, he's going to do something about it.
He looks down, erasing any negative emotion from his face and putting on a smile. He looks back up.
“Come on, date time,” He stands up, picking up the flowers. His lip trembles, so he bites it. Straightening up, he turns back to Frank, handing him the flowers. “Here, I got you these.” He flashes him a grin, making Frank very confused.
Frank's eyebrows furrow, but he takes the flowers, letting his arm dangle limply at his side.
“Aren't you... mad?” His voice shakes. Gerard shrugs, a smile still on his face.
“Of course I am. That's a stupid question, really. But, I have a date prepared, and I'm not prepared to let anyone fuck it up. Even you.” Frank flinches, but Gerard pretends to not notice.
“Um...” Frank hesitates, biting his lip. Gerard sighs, his smile falling a little.
“Frank, just fucking come on. I want this shit to be special, I'll deal with whatever tomorrow. Let's just go and have a nice time while we still fucking can, okay?” Frank studies Gerard for a minute before nodding.
“Okay... Let's go,” Gerard's smile widens, albeit faker than ever. Gerard grabs Frank's hand, pulling him gently behind him. He pulls the flowers out of Frank's other hand on the way to the car, throwing them onto the kitchen counter.
They get in the car, a strange tension over them.
“I don't even know if you'll like this, but who cares? Either you will, or you won't. Right?” Gerard glances at Frank, making him nod reassuringly. “I mean, the worst that will happen is that you'll break up with me and fuck some guy and snort a ton of coke, really. But I don't think that will happen somehow. It's only a date, right?” Frank nods again, growing more and more uncomfortable. Something is off with Gerard, he seems too nervous. “I just... I don't know. I guess seeing you spaced out like that made me see what you're really capable of. You can do heroin, you can snort some coke. You can go to a crack house or something like that, and buy the shit,” He sighs, shaking his head. “Sorry, I'm just rambling. I'll shut up... unless you want me to carry on talking about you?” Frank stays silent, just looking at Gerard dumbly. He chuckles, shaking his head. “I thought not, you know?” Frank manages to smile, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.
Frank thinks that he prefers when Gerard flips out. This talking is making him want to jump out of the car.
Gerard is silent for a minute, his mouth opening occasionally as if he's going to speak, but he never does. Trees pass by their windows.
Gerard starts talking, loudly and quickly, making Frank jump.
“I just can't believe that you'd turn to drugs. Especially heroin. That shit is fucking disgusting, you know? And in our own home... on our lounge floor,” He sighs, a strange smile on his face. “I guess I thought too... highly of you.”
Gerard internally cringes at himself, shouting at himself to shut up. He finally listens to himself, biting his lip to shut himself up. Frank doesn't look at him for the rest of the drive, and Gerard begins to feel guilty.
But then he decides that it's Frank that should be guilty, considering he pinned up on their lunge floor, and starts to feel pretty angry again. He swallows down the anger, promising himself that he'll be angry with Frank tomorrow.
They reach their destination, a hilltop. A blanket with a picnic basket has been placed there, along with balloons.
“But you hate balloons...” Gerard shrugs, a half-smile appearing.
“And?” He gets out of the car, waiting for Frank by the hood. He reaches for Frank's hand, holding onto it tightly. “I love you, and that far outweighs my fear of balloons.” Guilt plagues Frank, making him uneasy again.
He holds onto Gerard's hand tighter, thankful that he doesn't sweat any more.
They walk to the blanket, Gerard sitting down as far as possible from the balloons. The sun is almost setting, the sky lit up with brilliant colors that they can see perfectly from the hilltop.
“So... what are we meant to be doing?” Gerard shrugs, pointing at the basket.
Frank pulls it towards him, opening it.
Inside are different sized packages, all wrapped in different colored paper. He pulls them out, one by one. He sets them out in a circle, looking at each one.
“They're... for me?” Gerard nods, a warm glow in his eyes.
“Yeah, but first pop the balloons...” He pauses, wincing. “But gently, there are some things in them that are quite small and easily lost.” Gerard reaches into the pocket, pulling out a small pair of scissors.
Frank reaches for the first balloon, pulling it towards him. He cuts the balloon at the tied end, making it quickly deflate. An oddly shaped thing is inside the balloon, so he shakes it around until it falls out.
He instantly recognizes it as his wedding ring. He picks it up, holding it carefully in his hand as if it's something infinitely precious.
Gerard knows that in that moment, he'll never stop fighting for their relationship no matter how many times Frank fucks up, or he fucks up, because of the way Frank holds the ring with such awe in his movements and expression.
“No wa-” He interrupts himself, laughing out of disbelief. “Oh, my God. No way,” He looks at Gerard, who nods and smiles. “You foun- How?” Gerard laughs lovingly.
“I've had it for a while. I can't remember how I got it, but somehow I did.” He shrugs, gesturing to the other balloon.
Frank grabs it, cutting a slit in the bottom and letting it deflate before shaking it, making the other ring fall out. He passes it to Gerard, who holds it with the same awestruck carefulness as Frank. Those rings mean a hell of a lot to both of them.
Gerard slides his on, flexing his fingers. He flashes his hand at Frank, making Frank grin. Frank puts his on too, the rings still fitting perfectly on both of them. The silver glitters in the setting sun, the metal still as shiny as it was when they first saw them.
“And the other parcels? Are you going to open them?” Frank looks to Gerard, whose eyes shine in the orange glow. Frank is taken aback by his beauty once again, and, once again, is stricken with guilt.
He nods, unable to speak. He reaches for the package closest to him, wrapped in blue paper. He tears the paper, gently, almost like a caress. A magical sort of atmosphere has settled over them, making them speak in gentle whispers.
The gift isn't very large. It falls out of the paper and bounces softly onto the blanket. The glass shines a gentle orange in the glow. Frank picks it up, turning it around in his hands softly. It's a glass bottle, corked, with paper stuffed inside it.
Frank can see little black writing on some of the paper slips, so he brings it closer to his eyes to read the words. He can't make out much. There's a label tied around the neck, and which reads, 'Love Notes- What I Love About You.'
Frank looks at Gerard out of the corner of his eyes. Gerard is staring at him, still ethereally beautiful.
“Do you, uh, like it?” Gerard breaks the silence with a whisper, making Frank nod.
“Of course I do. You gave it me,” Frank smiles at him, trying to convey a million apologies and a million love notes back to him.
“Good. That's good. You can read them later, open the rest.”
There are four things left. Frank picks up the thin one, thinking that it could be a book of some sort. He tears off the paper, revealing something that is indeed a book, but home-made, titled, 'What I'd do For You.'
He flicks through the pages, scanning the words. The words make Frank choke up, overtaken by love.
“I mean it, you know. Everything in there is true. I'd do all that shit for you if you asked.”
“Even the one about walking on hot coals?” Gerard nods, a smile creeping up onto his lips. “And the one about leaving me if it was completely for the best?” Gerard's smile falters, his face growing sombre.
“Of course. If I thought that was what you needed, I would walk away. I'd never bother you again, if you didn't want me to.” Frank's hand slides over the blanket, looking for Gerard's.
Their fingers touch, then intertwine.
“Can we just watch the sun set for a while? It's almost over, anyway.” Gerard nods, pulling Frank towards him.
Frank slides onto Gerard's lap, his back against Gerard's chest and each of their hands holding the other's. Gerard's chin rests atop Frank's head, his thumbs drawing circles onto Frank skin.
They watch the orange, red, pink, yellow and slightly purple sky fade away into a blue color, the stars appear and the moon become brighter. The sky remains clear as they watch the starts moving slowly for a while.
Frank moves first, twisting his body around to face Gerard's. Gerard is already looking down at him, a deep pain in his eyes.
“Frank?” He whispers, his voice hoarse. Frank kisses his collarbones once before replying.
“Yes, Gerard?” Gerard swallows, biting his lip.
“I love you so much that it actually hurts, okay? I really would do anything for you,” Frank is silent, not knowing what to say. “I mean, we've already given so much, haven't we? Sometimes I've thought that maybe it's been too much, because recently the bad outweighs the good, but in moments like this, I'm really fucking glad neither of us have given up.”
“I am too. I never meant for it to get so bad, Gerard, I hope you know that. I just couldn't help myself, I'm really, really fucking sorry. You don't know how guilty I am, you really don't,” He stops talking, gasping in a breath.
“Shush, Frank. I know you're sorry, I know you're guilty. Let's talk about that tomorrow. Let's just forget I started saying anything and get back to the date. I'm sorry for starting it.” They stare at each other for a minute.
Frank reaches over, scooping up the three remaining gifts. He curls up deeper into Gerard's lap, balancing the parcels on his knees. He chooses one at random, the wrapping paper red. Another book-shaped one, this time bigger, thicker and heavier.
He tears off the paper, revealing something familiar.
He stares at Gerard, dumb-struck.
“How... How did you get this?” His hand slides over the book, shaking slightly.
“I snuck into the hospital to see if there was any information on where you were and found this.” Gerard half-smiles at Frank, shrugging one shoulder.
“Oh, my God. Thank you so fucking much, Jesus Christ,” He laughs, hugging the book to his chest.
He opens it, looking at the messages in the front. One from everyone he loves, minus Gerard.
His fingers trace the indents of the letters, not having to even look at them to know what they say. In the hospital, he'd read and look at the photo album dozens of times, before he lost it somehow. He didn't know where it went, so he just forgot about it, already knowing all of the photographs by heart.
He closes it, not really ready to see the photos again. Tomorrow, perhaps, but not tonight.
“Seriously, thank you so much. You've no idea how much this means to me,” Frank kisses Gerard, sweetly and quickly, unable to make it last longer because of his smile.
“I think I do. There are pictures of my mom in there, Frank, it probably means almost as much to me as it does to you,” Frank stays quiet, his fingers still lightly tracing the front cover of the photo album.
Looking at the other two gifts, one card-shaped, and the other a large rectangular shape, he reaches for the rectangular one. He hears liquid sloshing around inside, so he opens it. A big, back lighter is inside.
“I thought I'd buy you that because you always lose your ones. And then steal mine...” Gerard smirks. Frank shakes his head, an indignant look on his face.
“I do not! You always steal mine, that's why I never have any,” Gerard continues smirking, shaking his head.
“I steal your ones because they're actually mine that you stole from me on the first place,” Frank pouts, rolling his eyes.
“Whatever,” He pauses, a smile appearing. “Thank you, anyway. It's pretty cool.” Gerard smiles, rolling his eyes back at Frank.
“Don't mention it,” His smile widens, his eyes excited. “Open the last one!” He giggles slightly, his leg bouncing up and down, almost making Frank fall off his lap.
“Okay, okay! Chill out, man,” He laughs, reaching for the card-shaped, green gift.
He tears off the paper, revealing a card. The cars says, 'I Love You', on the front. Frank looks behind him, and Gerard makes a shooing gesture with his hands.
“Come on!” Frank laughs at his impatience and excitement, opening the card. It has a little pocket inside it, with another card pocketed. The card is in a silver envelope, and Gerard has written, 'To Frank, I love you lots', inside the first card.
Frank slides out the silver envelope. He uses his fingernails to open it, revealing two pieces of rectangular paper.
“What are thes-” He stops, reading the writing on them. “Holy mother of shit balls, Gerard!” Gerard laughs, covering his mouth.
“You like them?” Frank nods, throwing his arms around Gerard's neck. He kisses him, catching Gerard off guard. They make out for a while, the pieces of paper almost being forgotten.
When they pull apart, Frank squeaks slightly, picking them up and waving them around.
“Holy shit, we're going to London! Oh, my God, you're amazing. Holy shit,” Gerard laughs at him, shrugging.
“We leave in a five days, okay?” Frank nods, grinning widely.
“I'm freaking out. I've never even been out of this country. I've never been on an aeroplane! How long does it take to get there? What will I need to take? Jesus Christ...” He giggles, shaking his head. “I can't believe this, Gerard. This is fucking crazy.” Gerard shrugs again, grinning.
“I knew you'd like it. I know it's fucking crazy, but we have a lot of years to live, so we might as well spend them doing crazy shit,” Frank nods, tackling Gerard in a hug again.
They fall backwards, laughing. Frank looks in Gerard's eyes, getting close to his face. He breathes in and out, a habit he hasn't been able to drop. Gerard's eyes flicker to his lips, and he kisses him. The kiss starts off as slow, but becomes more passionate the longer they kiss, and soon Frank is trying to pull Gerard's t-shirt off. Gerard stops kissing him, making Frank stop too.
“Slow down, yeah? I'm all for it, but not here. That's kind of gross, isn't it?” He laughs, biting his lip. “Imagine if someone found us,” Frank laughs, too, looking around them.
“I'm sorry, I got carried away...” Gerard shrugs, rolling onto his side. Frank falls off him, landing on his back next to Gerard.
“I don't care. Shall we go home and continue? Or stay here and watch the stars?” Frank rolls his eyes, smiling.
“Is that even a choice?” Gerard smirks, sitting up. “Where are you going?” Frank asks, making Gerard spin around, confused.
“Home? With you?” Frank shakes his head, his eyebrows furrowed.
“No, we're staying here to watch the stars and cuddle...” Gerard raises and eyebrow, before shrugging and lying back down.
“Okay, that's cool,” Frank can't contain his laughter any more, making Gerard even more confused.
“You're adorable,” He giggles again, sitting up. “Come on, let's go home,” Frank stands up, offering Gerard a hand.
“And you're a really good liar, baby. You had me there.” He fake laughs, rolling his eyes. He grabs Frank's hand. Letting himself be pulled up by him.
“Yeah, yeah. Pack up the shit and let's go,” Gerard puts a hand on his hip, an eyebrow raised.
“You pack up the shit. It's your shit, darling.”
“Fine... We'll both do it?” Gerard smiles, nodding his head.
“Fine, lazy ass.”
They both pick up Frank's things, Gerard doing more work than Frank, then they pack up the blanket and walk to the car. They hold hands, Gerard bumping into him purposely and making them both laugh.
“I love you, Gerard,” Gerard smiles down at him, pulling him into a hug before they get in the car.
“And I love you, baby.” Frank grins, reaching up and kissing him. They kiss for a while, Frank pressing Gerard against the car and pulling his hair. Gerard moans, pushing him away.
“Come on, we're going home, right now,” Frank grins, winking at him.
“Whatever you say, darling,” He giggles, getting into the car.
Gerard climbs into the driver's seat, looking for his keys.
“Do you know where my keys are? I swear they were in my back pocket...” Frank giggles again, nodding. He holds his hand up, the keys swinging around on his finger.
“You shouldn't keep them in a back pocket, Gerard, they might get stolen...” Gerard makes a garb for them, but Frank is too quick and dodges out of Gerard's way.
“Frank, please,” He whines, pouting. “Please?” Frank, smirking, rolls his eyes and hands them to Gerard.
“There you go, my dear.” Gerard smiles at him sarcastically, slotting the keys in the ignition. He starts the car, pulling away and driving home, impatiently.
“Gerard, slow down. You're over the speed limit.” Gerard sighs, looking at Frank.
“But, Frank... I can get out of a speeding ticket if we get pulled!” Frank shakes his head, smirking.
“Just slow down, babe.” Gerard groans.
“You're just being mean.” Frank feigns innocence, shaking his head with wide eyes.
“Me, mean? I've never heard of such a thing. Now, Gerard, slow down and be a good boy,” Gerard slows down, pouting.
“Dick.” Frank nods, smirking.
“Don't you know it, darling.”
They arrive at their house, Gerard only making it to the front door before pinning Frank to the wall and kissing him. Frank giggles at his eagerness, pushing him away.
“Now, now, Gerard. Relax a little. Take your time,” Gerard grins, shaking his head.
“I'll relax after it, baby,” Frank stares at him a little longer, teasing him.
“Just open the door, and we'll have privacy. I'm not doing anything out here, Gerard.”
He huffs, unlocking the door, and then pulling Frank in. As soon as the door's shut, Frank pins Gerard up the door and holds him there, his face inches away from Gerard's.
“You've not been very good, have you.”
“Oh, my God, Frank, just shut the fuck up and kiss me!” Frank giggles, leaning in and kissing him.
They make out against the door, their t-shirts ending up in a pile next the the shoe rack. Frank pulls away, grabbing Gerard's hand and pulling him upstairs, to their bedroom.
He undoes Gerard's belt, then undoes his own jeans and pulls them off. He catches Gerard off guard and pushes him onto the bed while his jeans are still around his ankles, rendering his legs useless. Frank laughs at him, pulling at the jeans. They come off, Frank throwing them somewhere behind him. They smash something, but neither care; getting too busy with each other to give a shit until the next morning.

Notes

Sorry for taking so long to update!