Last week, we were all informed by Laurie that there was going to be a new kid joining us someday soon. Today was that day. Everyone else was excited about the new kid, not me though. I wondered if this new kid was going to be as messed up as the rest of the whack-jobs in here. I definitely wasn't one of those. No, not me. I'm just a normal 19 year old girl. I shouldn't be here, I've been trying to convince Laurie and the other doctors that for two years, they'll have none of it, though. In the two years I've been here, I haven't made a single friend. Not that I haven't bothered to learn people's stories, I just did that without speaking to them. There is a couple of people I speak to, though. My favourite being Ryan, he's been here since last year. I don't suspect he'll be here much longer. The boy was first brought in because of his drug addiction, he'd been getting hallucinations. That's what they said about me, that I was getting hallucinations because I took drugs for too long. Ryan seemed to think that he was being hunted down by aliens, poor soul. Of course there weren't aliens coming for him. He was getting to grips with his hallucinations though, and I'm pretty sure he would be discharged by the end of the year. That was the difference between me and Ryan, his hallucinations were just that, a mere figment of his imagination. No one believes me, but what I see isn't a hallucination. When I was younger, when my father was still alive, he used to read to me at night. He would always read my favourite book, Alice in Wonderland. I loved that book, perhaps because I shared a name with the main character. Every night, once my father left the room, I would take a sip of the special "shrink drink" I kept in a secret drawer under my bed, and go through the tiny door in my room. No one else knew about the door except me, I had to keep Wonderland a secret, I didn't wasn’t anyone making a mess of it, did I? I visited Wonderland every single night from the age I was 8 until I was 15. That's when my father passed away. After that, I didn't go back to Wonderland for a few months. But when I did, it was different, very different.

"Alice, you've returned!" The man who I recognized as The Hatter exclaimed. He wasn't The Hatter I remembered though. My Hatter wore bright colors and was cheerful. This Hatter was dressed in grays and blacks, and had a worried look plastered onto his face. I looked around Wonderland, it had also changed. It was as if a giant vacuum came and sucked the color from the whole place. "W-What happened to this place?" I asked. The Hatter sighed sadly. "Wonderland is slowly dying, Alice." The Hatter said, "And so are you." I jumped back slightly, shocked at this. "What do you mean, dying? I feel fine." The Hatter let out a humorless laugh. "Of course you feel fine Alice, you're always fine aren't you!" He yelled the last part, startling me. The Hatter was never like this before, he was always so cheery and happy. "I-I am fine. What are you talking about?" I was growing afraid now. The usually blue skies were a dark grey, getting darker and darker by the second. "You're a crazy little bitch, Alice. You are going to die!" The Hatters irises had turned a deep, dark black color. Like pools of ink. The rest of his eyes looked sore and bloodshot. "You will die soon, Alice. I promise you." Before I could ask any more questions, The Hatter disappeared into thin air. I heard rustling in the trees surrounding me. "Hello?" I called out. "Anybody there?" Still no reply. "Alice, so nice of you to drop by. It's been a while." I heard the familiar voice of the white rabbit from behind me. I spun around as I spoke. "Oh white rabbit thank goodness you're- Oh my!" My eyes widened as I saw The Hatter wasn't the only one with a newly twisted appearance. "What happened to you?" The rabbit, who once had perfect white fur neat upon his body, now had almost grey fur that was appeared to be mangled and knotty. He was scrawny-looking and ill. "You happened, Alice. You ruined everything!" Suddenly the rabbit’s eye started twitching before it blew off completely, spurting large amounts of blood everywhere. "What's happening?!" I screamed, feeling hot, salty tears pour down my face. Suddenly, the ground I was standing on gave way, and I fell into a dark, black hole. I tried to bring myself to scream out, but my lungs wouldn't allow it. Objects flew passed me as I fell. Or maybe the objects weren't moving at all, maybe it was just me. Can something fall upwards, or is that simply flying? I soon realized I was coming to the bottom of the hole, and finally a blood-curdling scream erupted from inside of me.

"Alice, Alice wake up!" My shoulders were being shook in an attempt to wake me up. My body shot forward and I was panting like mad, desperate to regain my breath. "Nightmare?" I would nod my head if I could. I noticed the figure perched on my bed was Laurie. "I had a dream about when I first went back to Wonderland after...” I didn't need to finish the sentence, she already knew. "Alice, we've been over this a million times, there is no such place as Wonderland." I rolled my eyes. "I know, you just don't get it, do you? You think I make this stuff up, because I don't." Laurie let a sigh escape her lips. "Get ready, the new kid will be joining us today." And with that, she left. I pulled myself up off my bed, swinging one leg over the cheap piece of furniture after another and letting my bare feet hit the ground. I noticed the black paint on my toe nails had started to come off, I would have to re-do it when I found time. I noticed the same happening with the paint on my fingernails. I dragged myself over to my wardrobe and flung the doors open, examining the contents. After letting my eyes flick over the dull clothing, I picked out a short-ish black skirt, a white and grey stripy top and some white and grey stripy socks with my red doc martens. Just as I'd finished getting changed there was a knock at the door. "What?" I snapped. "Um.. Alice, it's Ryan." the voice spoke. "What do you want?" Just because Ryan was my least-hated person in here, doesn't give me any reason to be nice to him. "Do you wanna come meet the new kid?" he asked. "No." I replied simply. "Are you sure?" Why would this kid not leave me alone? "I'm sure." I heard footsteps getting quieter away from my door, indicating Ryan had finally left. "Damn faggot." I muttered. If the new kid was in here for the same reasons they said I was, or the same reasons Ryan was, then I would meet him at the group therapy session today. If he wasn't, I would have no business talking to him, not that it was a bad thing. I wasn't in here to make friends. I opened my door and walked into the corridor. There wasn't much color up here, on the top corridor. It was my favourite part of the whole house. The garden used to be my favourite, but then they removed the red roses and replaced them with white ones. I tried to paint them once, but I just got scolded and sent to my room like a child. I decided to walk aimlessly around the corridors, muttering to myself about when I should next go back to Wonderland, and how I should fix it. I shuddered, remembering the last time I was there. I walked past the dormitory with the orphaned teenagers in. "She's talking to herself, crazy bitch." One of them said, not meaning for me to hear. "I don't know why she's here, she should be in a hospital, or an insane asylum." another added. I did not belong in an insane asylum. That was where they clothed you in straight jackets, and drilled a hole into your head to cure you. "No, I'm not crazy. I'm perfectly fine. You're perfectly fine Alice. Perfectly fine." I repeated to myself over and over. My thoughts were stopped when my face came into contact with a strong chest. I looked up and saw Kier, one of the staff here. I wasn't sure if he was a doctor or not, but I didn't see the need to know. "What are you doing Alice?" Kier asked. "I'm not crazy, I swear." Kier rested a hand on my shoulder. "I know you're not. Who said you were?" I shook my head violently. "Not crazy." I repeated. "Come on, it's almost time for your group therapy." Kier lead me downstairs and into the therapy room where I learnt group therapy had already started. "Nice of you to join us, Alice." Doctor Laurie announced. "Yeah, whatever." I slumped down into an empty seat next to Ryan. He gave me a small smile which I didn't return. "As I was just saying, this is Frank." she gestured over towards a boy who looked to be around my age. He had a black deflated mohawk with the sides of his hair blonde. His eyes were a beautiful olive color and on his perfect pink lips was a lip ring. I blinked hard to make sure he was real, surely this amount of perfection couldn't exist in real life. Of course, Frank probably wasn't all that perfect. If he was, he wouldn't be in here. It intrigued me as to why he was in here. He was in my group, so he must have delusions of some sort. "So we'll start with you Ryan, how have you been?" Doctor Laurie asked Ryan. "Okay." he answered simply. "No alien visits recently?" I stifled a laugh. "No. I think they've left me alone for good now." A small smile appeared on Laurie's face. One of her patients was closer to being cured. "What about you Alice, how are the Wonderland dreams coming along?" she asked. "I already told you I had a nightmare last night. I told you about it this morning, is there any need to repeat it to this lot?" I think it was safe to say I thought very lowly of the other kids in Brownley. They all classed this place as a children’s home, which it definitely was not. It was more like a hospital or a rehabilitation center. They were all crazy, too. Especially the ones in my therapy group, they were all delusional bastards. "Maybe you should repeat it, so the rest of the group can hear?" Laurie suggested. "Maybe I shouldn't." I replied coldly. She gave me a stern look. "Explain." I sighed in defeat. "I had a nightmare about when I first went back to Wonderland after a long time, you don't need to know anything else." I didn't need these vermin knowing my life-story. It really wasn't necessary. They knew what they needed to know, that was it. Doctor Laurie looked disappointed at the shortness of my explanation. "Is that all?" she asked. "I don't know why you're pushing me to say more about it, you know better than anyone that I'm not going to." I had a tendency to be rather cocky towards Laurie. Everyone in this place thought I was some big headed, self centered she-devil. Which I was, minus the she-devil part. I preferred to call it independent, though. It was just a high-level of self confidence. I didn't mean for everyone to think I thought I was better than them, even though I did. People just figured it out for themselves. No one really spoke to me, apart from Ryan. There was also Ryan's boyfriend, Brendan, who visited regularly. I've spoken to him a fair few times, nice guy. They are a very well-suited couple, in my opinion. Sometimes, when I couldn't sleep at night, I wondered if I would ever be in a relationship like Ryan and Brendon’s. I doubted the prospect highly, though. Who would ever want to be in a relationship with me? I was nothing special, I was just.. Alice. Plain, simple Alice. Doctor Laurie had gotten almost right around the circle now, and was just about to talk to Frank, who was sat on the other side of Ryan. "So Frank, why are you here?" she asked. The same question she asked me on my first day. "You know why he's here, you're his doctor." I muttered. "I'm here because.. because of the fire." Frank replied. "Can you tell us more about the fire?" Laurie pushed. I could see terror swimming in his eyes. "You don't have to answer that." I butted in. "Would you please be quiet Alice." Laurie snapped. "No, I won't actually. This is a group therapy session therefore we are all permitted to talk. We are also, should we wish, permitted to remain silent. Clearly Frank doesn't want to tell us about something that's clearly personal so would you shut the fuck up with you're stupid bloody questions." Frank looked shocked and surprised by my sudden outburst. Doctor Laurie just sighed and rolled her eyes. She did a lot of sighing, it was probably her old age dawning on her. "Very well, if Frank doesn't wish to tell us, then he doesn't have to." Frank sent me a small, thankful smile. After the therapy session was up, I was first out of the door and back up to the top corridor. I wasn't alone though, for Laurie had followed me. "I don't appreciate you embarrassing me like that." she snapped. "Calm down, I was only defending the new kid. He shouldn't have to talk about stuff like that in front of us all." I retorted. "Why do you have to be so goddamn difficult Alice?" and with that she stormed off. I continued to my room when someone tapped me on the shoulder. "What?" I spun around to see the new kid. "Oh, hey." he looked scared and nervous. Well I would be too, if I were him. I may be small but I'm definitely an intimidating character, I've been told. "Thanks for sticking up for me back then, I really didn't want to talk about that." I shook my head. "It's fine, just don't feel like you have to do everything Laurie tells you. She's a pushover." Frank nodded, taking in the information. "How long have you been here?" he asked. "Couple years." I replied simply. "Oh, how old are you?" Frank was probably worried he would have to spend as much time in here as I have, I doubted he would. "19, what about you?" "19." Perfect. Ryan came bounding happily towards us. "Hey Alice, hey Frank." He grinned. "Hi." Frank replied quietly. "Do you want to sit with me at dinner?" Ryan asked. Frank nodded. "Thanks." Ryan looked to me, silently repeating the question. "I'm fine thanks." I walked back to my room and closed the door. I liked this new Frank kid, he was interesting. Usually I would be opposed to making a friend, but maybe, just maybe.. Frank could be an exception.

Notes

Chapter Title: Therapy, All Time Low
Sections in italics are Alice's dreams.