..."Thanks?" I decide to ignore the fact that he just acknowledged me of him intending to leave me some time.

Frank’s POV


“Frank? What are you thinking about?” Gerard asks as we walk down the dark alleyway, our fingers interlocked. I look up at him but he doesn’t return the gaze.

“I don’t know,” I reply simply, shrugging my shoulders. “Just things, I guess,”

In reality I perfectly well know what exactly I’m thinking about: I’m wondering if Gerard and I are dating. He hasn’t officially asked me out or anything and I’m too shy to, but we’ve kissed and are now holding hands. He also told me he loved me, at least that’s what I concluded from his saying that “loving me is like holding hands with a devil”. My life is confusing, but this is still better than nothing. Plus, the whole hand-holding thing with Satan somehow sounds extremely romantic to me.

I still can’t fully believe that the man I’ve been crushing on for at least three months is practically mine: it’s a fucking Christmas miracle, except it’s still far from Christmas. It’s a… it’s a Halloween miracle, that’s it.

Halloween miracles rock.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask Gerard back since he stays uncomfortably quiet. His fingers clasp around mine tighter, squeezing almost painfully.

“About how much I don’t want to hurt you,”

“What?”

He roughly pulls his hand out of mine and backs away a few inches, staring at the asphalt beneath out feet. I suddenly feel extremely lonely, as if I’m all alone in the whole universe and Gerard doesn’t even exist.

“Just… What I’m doing is so wrong, I’m terrified of myself,” he utters, slurring his words slightly as he lifts his head towards the sky. Our eyes lock, and I notice that his are wet.

“What are you doing, Gerard?”

“I’m hurting you,”

I chuckle awkwardly, pulling him closer to me by the hem of his jacket, trying to ease the situation.

“No you aren’t, you are practically the only light in my dull life,” I smile and lean upwards slightly to kiss his soft cheek, but he doesn’t kiss back.

“You don’t know a thing about my sins, Frank…” he takes a breath and I suddenly feel a shiver of horror creep up my spine. What is he talking about? “Do I really look all that innocent to you?”

YES, I want to scream at him. YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL WITH YOUR SHINY PALE SKIN AND YOUR-

Gerard groans, hiding his face in his palms and practically rubbing his skin off.

“I shouldn’t be doing this to you,” he mumbles into his hands and I furrow my eyebrows, trying to quickly make up a strategy or a plan of what to do next, but I really have no clue of what’s going on. I’m starting to wonder if he needs a visit to a therapist. Maybe it’s something like altering personalities, or he’s bipolar… I’m not really familiar with those things.

“Gerard…” I say, but my voice comes out in a tender whisper. “You aren’t hurting me, really. I promise, you are the greatest thing in my whole life,”

His cheeks spread in a weak smile and his arm wraps around my waist. He pulls me closer to him and kisses the top of my head.

“I love you,” he mumbles against my hair and I melt into his gentle touch.

Notes

A short filler chapter just to let you guys know that I am, as a matter of fact, still alive and well

The reason I'm not really posting is because I've concentrated all my attention on "you should have never come", and I want to finish it real bad
After it's done, I'm going to update a lot faster, that's for sure