I'm okay... conditionally

"Andy's your ex's name, right?" I asked.

"Yeah." Gerard said, he kept his eyes on the road. I was glad. He had a habit of looking at me when we spoke, which was very polite when we WEREN'T in a motorized vehicle.

"Why was him being high so bad? He has an addiction?" I said. I wanted to know why it was so important whether or not his ex was getting high in his free time.

Gerard's hands gripped the wheel tighter and I could almost so the veins in his forehead pushing toward the surface. For the first time since we met, he looked older than me. Not just older, either-he looked harder, too. Like he'd made a million dollar deal only for it to fall through the next day.

"Yes. We did a lot of coke back in the day. I escaped with the little sheds I call my life, now." He replied. I couldn't say it shocked me. Gerard never seemed as happy as he led on.

I didn't say anything else until we parked in his driveway.

"Gerard, you want to call him? See how he's doing?" I asked, out of kindness, of course. I didn't really want him to call and check on the man his tortured past revolved around.

"No." Gerard said forcefully. I flinched. I suddenly wanted to be alone.

"Frank, I wasn't upset with you. I was just a little pissed about Andy. I wouldn't raise my voice at you..." I didn't hear the rest of what he was saying because I'd already locked myself in the bathroom. I prayed for the first time since I left my ex. I prayed that Gerard wouldn't hurt me like he had.

Notes

Beyoncé saved this fic tbh