Sometimes I Think I'll Die Alone
A Party Song (The Walk of Shame)
“Bitch!” Mikey threw the Xbox controller across his bedroom floor.
I smiled smugly, “Not my fault you got blown up, Mikes.”
He sat on his bed and pouted, “You cheated.”
“You can’t cheat at Halo Mikey...” I frowned.
He smiled and sat down next to me on the floor against his bed.
Putting his arm around me, he brought up the one thing I was hoping to avoid... For now at least. “So... How do you feel about that party Frank told us about?”
I slumped my shoulders, “I don’t know Mikes...”
He squeezed me, “You don’t have to. But you don’t need to be scared, I promise to look after you.”
I smiled, “Even when you get hammered?”
My best friend gave his signature giggle, “You could always get hammered with me? You’re nearly 16... I’m sure you won’t die.”
I smiled, “Mmm, maybe. I guess I may as well go... I just-”
“The second you say you don’t want to be there anymore, we’ll leave. Simple as that. No matter how much fun I’m having, just let me know.” He smiled warmly at me.
I nodded my head, “Okay... But you better stick to your word.”
He chuckled, “I always do. So... do you wanna call your mom or... Do you think she’ll let you go?”
Damn. I forgot about her. I got my phone out of my jeans pocket, “I’ll just call her and say I’m staying with you tonight... She won’t ask questions.”
He nodded and I pressed ‘call’.
“Hey mum?” I spoke into the phone and awaited my mum’s reply.
“Grey? Are you okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine... Is it okay if I stay with Mikey tonight?”
“Of course, honey. Just make sure he looks after you.”
“I will. Thanks mum.”
“Love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Love you too, see you later.” We both hung up.
I turned back to Mikey, “Sorted.”
He smiled and looked at his watch, “Erm. Well it’s seven now, how about we go ask Gerard and the guys if they wanna come.”
I nodded and grabbed my best friend’s arm.
* * *
Needless to say, the guys were definitely up for the party. I, on the other hand, was still unsure. But there I was, inside the Eyeball Record’s house with Mikey, Gerard, Ray and Bob, every one of them drunk off their asses. We were all standing by the drinks when Frank came over, swaying.
“Hey! You made it!” Yeah, he was drunk. He smiled at me again. Damn. I hate you.
Gerard spoke, “Yeah man. Hey! You wanna drink?” Frank took a beer from Gerard.
He looked at me, “You not drinking?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat that had formed from not speaking, “Um, I will... Soon.”
“Oh come on! If you’re gonna drink later, drink now.” He slurred and smiled. I sighed.
Mikey spoke, “Dude, leave it...”
He looked back at Mikey weirdly, “Um... Alright, sorry Grey.”
I waved it off, “It’s fine, I’m just gonna go out back for a bit.”
I walked to the back door and it swung open, more drunken idiots flooding through. I pushed my way past the claustrophobic feeling and stepped into the cool, refreshing night.
I sighed and sat down, putting my head in my hands, why did I come here?
Then, a guy came up to me, “You look pretty sober. Take this.” He handed me a red plastic cup.
I looked at it then back at him, “Well... What is it?”
He smiled, “Vodka.” He handed it to me and walked away.
Fuck it. Maybe it’ll get people off my back. And drown the sinking feeling in my head.
I gulped it down and threw the cup away. I didn’t feel much better, so I just decided to go back inside and find Mikey.
As I stood up, I swayed slightly. Okay... This is either the alcohol or a head rush... I’m gonna go with head rush.
I made my way back to where the guys had been and they weren’t there anymore. Damn. Thanks Mikey. I walked towards the front door and my mind started buzzing. But not in the way I expected. It wasn’t pleasant but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant...
Colours flashed through my head and my vision blurred and darkened... Oh shit.
I felt a hand grab mine. Only one thing went through my head. Mikey. I could only hope. I was being dragged throughout the crowds and my feet hit a step. I did my best to make my way up the steps with whoever was leading me, hopefully, away from this nightmare.
I heard a door click shut and lock. Fuck... Those two sounds don’t always tend to be good. I panicked and tried to blink free of my partial blindness. I was pushed against the wall, but I didn’t flinch. I wasn’t scared, just majorly confused. Lips crashed onto mine and my mind couldn’t function properly to be able to stop it... So I just went with the flow. I felt a cold object on my mouth. This guy clearly had a lip ring. His hands held my waist and I reached up and ran my hands through his hair, it was short at the sides and longer and spiked on top. His mouth tasted strongly of alcohol, so he was drunk. I guess I couldn’t really criticize.
Then I felt his warm hands slip under my t-shirt, lifting it up. Again, I went along with it and let him pull it over my head. His mouth then went to my neck and began sucking hard, causing me to let out a low moan. I suddenly felt a rush to my head and felt nauseous...
My legs suddenly gave way and I collapsed onto the floor.
* * *
I felt pretty bad about myself that the only way I had the guts to kiss Grey was when she was drunk. I was actually less drunk than I had shown myself to be... But fuck was it good.
That is... until I felt her fall from my grip. She just fell straight onto the floor, her eyes closed, mouth open.
I dropped down next to her and shook her, “Grey?” No response. I shook her harder, “Grey!” Oh fuck... I pulled out my cell and called Mikey. He sounded smashed.
“Fuck. Dude, where are you?” He giggled to someone outside of the conversation.
“We’re j-just leaving now.”
“No, you’re not. Get up here.” I panicked, I needed Mikey here.
“Ugh, man what’s wrong?” He still sounded more tipsy than concerned.
“Fuck man. Grey’s collapsed, I think her drink was spiked or something. Now get the fuck up here!”
I heard a tone. He’d hung up. He better be coming or so help him I will rip his balls off.
I remembered I had locked the door, I may want to unlock that...
I clambered back to Grey’s side and realised that she still had no t-shirt on... Mikey’s gonna rip my balls off isn’t he? I looked around to find her shirt and balled it up in my hands, but I didn’t have enough time to put it back on her...
The door slammed open and Mikey ran in pulling Grey up by her shoulders, making her sit up.
He seemed a lot more sober now, “Fuck, Grey. Frank, what happened?” His speech was rushed and panicked. But most of all confused.
I stammered “Um, like I said, I think someone spiked her drink. I don’t know what with, but something bad.” Now I was panicking.
He smacked her cheek a few times, but nothing happened. He put his ear to her mouth, “She’s breathing... Fuck. I don’t know what to do... I promised her I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.” He lowered his head.
“Dude... Don’t blame yourself, blame the sick fuck who did this to her.”
Then Gerard came in through the door, stopping when he saw Grey, “What the fuck happened to her??”
Mikey spoke, “She was drugged, her drink was spiked.” He felt bad, I could tell.
“Well is she breathing?” Mikey nodded. “Her pulse okay?” He nodded again. Gerard sighed, “Then let’s just take her back to ours. I guess she’s just passed out...”
Mikey kneeled so that he could pick her up, but I stopped him, “It’s okay Mikey, I’ll carry her.” He nodded, without speaking a word and watched as I held the limp, beautiful girl in my arms. I could tell that Mikey felt bad... But I don’t think it was anything compared to how bad I was feeling right now...
I followed the guys outside and placed Grey in the back seat of Mikey’s car. I turned to him, “Do you mind if I..?” He nodded his head slightly. I sat next to Grey’s unconscious body and placed her head on my lap. I began stroking her blue matted hair, watching as her face became slightly less distressed. I couldn’t even explain how bad I felt right now...
Mixed drinks, mixed feelings of elation. I should have known it was a one night invitation.
Title Credit: All Time Low