I heard the front door close quietly behind Gerard, and I let myself flop face first on my bed. That was that, then. Hurriedly, I got up from the bed and began pulling the sheets off. Those were tossed to the floor, and I made to grab the pillows but I stopped once I held the one Gerard had been using.

I felt like a creep, but I brought the pillow to my face an inhaled. His scent was familiar, from the night before. Cigarettes and shower gel. I put the pillows back and hurried to get the sheets and blanket into my washing machine; it was time for a smoke.

Juno called me later to talk about the amazing night she’d had with Gerard’s friend, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling bitterly. At least her morning went well. I found out that I’m married, and possibly pregnant. I didn’t tell any of this to her, but I did request she come over. It’d be easier for her to commence the interrogation if we were face-to-face.

As I sat on the front porch, smoking a cigarette while wearing pajama pants and my pea coat, Juno rolled up my driveway with an unfamiliar man in the drivers seat. The two of them shared a chaste kiss before Juno clambered from the car. Juno waved as the unknown man drove off, then she hurried over to sit next to me on the porch.

“That Frank?”

“Yeah. He’s adorable, I wish you could have met him, but he said he needed to get ready to leave for a few weeks.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s okay, I’ve have enough of his friend for a while,” Juno’s neutral look turned sly, and she leaned over to get a better look at my face.

“You let him pork you, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. We didn’t use protection,” Juno’s knowing smile turned into a horrified gape.

“No way. No way! Olivia, that is so-”

“Stupid, I know,” I interrupted her, stubbing my finished cigarette out on the step next to me. I dropped it into the ashtray I brought outside before lighting up another. Juno was quiet for a moment before another gasp ripped form her throat.

“What the hell is this!?” she grabbed for my hand, and I hurried to switch my cigarette to my opposite hand so I wouldn’t drop it, “When did- Oh my god, you and Gerard didn’t…”

“Yeah. Not only did I let Gerard put it in me without wrapping his willie, but I also agreed to marry the bastard in my drunken stupor.”

“Oh Jesus Christ, Olivia. I’m never taking you out drinking again. I leave you alone for one night and I wake up to find you married and knocked up. Holy fuck,” Juno dropped my hand, and I gladly used it to course my messy bangs back. I hadn’t bothered to brush my hair after Gerard left. I was too worried about being the bearer of his child.

“Look, we don’t even know for sure. I’ve got my annual doctor’s appointment in what.. A month? I’m sure if I tell the doctor what’s up, he’ll double check. I bet I’m completely fine, besides being a married woman. We’re getting annulled, by the way. Gerard said he’d send me the papers when he gets back from his work.”

“They’re in a band, you know,” I looked to Juno, curious. She gestured with an arm in the direction that Frank had driven off in, “Real famous. I hadn’t had the chance to check them out. My Chemical Romance, I think Frank said they were called? He played me one of their new songs on the way here, it was actually really good.”

“I don’t want to listen to it,” I interrupted, and Juno gave me a disappointed look, and I knew she needed an explanation, “You know I’m a sucker for musicians. If I listen, I might just fall in love with him. Did you see him last night? He’s a knockout.”

---

I closed the mailbox, clutching the brown envelope to my chest. I knew these were the papers, but I was a little apprehensive to open them. I didn’t want to seem crazy, but I felt like the annulment would make it real that I had gotten married and possibly pregnant by a man I didn’t know.

My appointment was today, and I was almost sure that Gerard had managed to knock me up. My stomach was turning, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of my maybe-baby, or if I was just nervous for the news at my visit.

With the envelope next to me in the passenger’s seat, I made my way to the hospital. I wondered what would happen if I was pregnant. I didn’t have a way to contact Gerard and tell him if I was. I wondered if Frank would give me Gerard’s number, but I didn’t want to seem crazy. Frank would have to be told the reason.

I stepped from the car and made my way to the waiting room. I found it funny that the only available reading material was month old issues of Parenting magazine. I bit the bullet and read them anyway; better to be in the mindset when they tell me the inevitable news.

“Wade, Olivia,” the nurse called, and I eagerly stood up. She gave me a small smile, and the two of us left to the back rooms to get started. Coming in at five foot three, and 130 pounds is Olivia Wade. She tells me I’m healthy for my height, and I take that as a good sign. I haven’t gained any weight; maybe I’m not pregnant? I know that’s a stupid thought. Of course I’m not going to start gaining weight right away.

As she helps me lay on the examining table, I let out a heavy breath before speaking, “Uh… can you do me a favor?”

“What’s bothering you?” she asked, pulling on some gloves and snapping them at her wrist comically. It causes a smile to break out on my face, and I hesitantly ask her if she can check to see if I’m pregnant. She agrees immediately, saying she’ll need to do some blood work. It’d only be a minute or two, and I’m relieved. I’d rather not have to deal with the suspense; it’s already killing me.

After I pass the examinations and she takes my blood, I sit in the examination room nervously. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I settle on swinging my legs back and forth while I sit on the table. The paper crinkles beneath me, but I’m too busy listening for footsteps down the hall to notice it.

The door opens and I perk up; my usual doctor comes in with a clipboard and a welcoming smile, “Nice to see you again, Olivia. Now, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?” I asked, wondering what his definition of bad was. Did he think children were bad news? Or maybe he thought I was trying for a child, and I figured that would be good news? I’m killing myself with anticipation at this point, and he flips a few sheets on his board as he speaks.

“You’ve got a slight potassium deficiency, nothing to be worried about. Easily remedied with vitamins, or eating some foods high in potassium. I’d say bananas, but you’re allergic.”

“What’s the good news?” I asked, wide eyed and practically shaking.

“The good news is, you won’t need to bother with bananas, because your prenatal vitamins will give you the right amounts you’ll need. Your hCG levels are higher than usual, and I’m willing to say you’re about a month along, give or take. Congratulations, Olivia,” I felt a bit dizzy, and my doctor helped me lay back on the examination table. I shakily asked what to do, and he explained that they would sign me up with a Obstetrician. I would go in for a checkup during the week, they would give me all the information I needed there.

He also said I should quit smoking, and I begrudgingly gave him my pack of Marlboro reds. Shorts, just how I like them. I groaned as he broke them in half and tossed them into the trash bin. He pat my belly and helped me sit up again, “It’s for the good of your child, Olivia. You aren’t just caring for yourself, now.”

---

When I came home that night, I sat at the kitchen table for a long time. I stared dolefully at the unopened brown envelope. I knew I should sign them, but… I didn’t want to. I needed to talk to Gerard before I did anything. I needed to see that his plans were for this kid. Was he going to ditch it? Maybe he would be the good father that made an effort to be in its life.

Regardless of outcome, I knew I had to sign those papers. I reached for the envelope, and pulled it open. The neatly folded documents fell out, and I half-heartedly signed where it wanted me to. I felt sick when I was finished, and immediately emptied the contents of my stomach into the garbage can. With a grimace, I tied the bag up and took it outside to the bins.

Juno and her boy-toy Frank were pulling into the driveway, and I gestured for both of them to come inside. Frank got the hint, and the two of them followed me into the house. Juno wrinkled her nose when we entered the kitchen, “Why does it smell like barf in here?”

“Because I threw up, maybe? Stupid,” I grumbled, and sat at the head of the table. Juno sat to my right, and Frank sat across from her on my left.

“What’s up, Olivia? You’re not one for friendly visits,” Juno’s tone changed, and she reached for my hand. I gave it a reassuring squeeze, before letting my hand fall limp in hers.

“I went to the doctor today.”

“Yeah? What did he say? He better not say you’re overweight, or I’ll-”

“I’m fine, Juno. I had them do the test, you know?”

Frank interjected at this point, his face contorted in confusion, “Test? Are you sick or something?”

“Well, I do have a parasite-”

“Ohmygodohmygod. You’re pregnant!” I nodded blearily, and Juno jumped up with a whoop. I shushed her and ran a hand through me hair, messing up the already unruly curls.

“I don’t know why you’re so happy. I’m pregnant from a one-night stand-”

“Oh fuck, it’s Gerard’s?” Frank asked in a low voice, and I gave him a nod. He gave me a small smile and reached for my unused hand, “Hey, do you want his number? You know, tell him? He won’t be back for another two weeks, but I know he’ll be real supportive of you. You two are married anyway,” he added in slyly, and I laughed at him as I gesturing to the brown envelope with our joined hands.

“Not anymore. Just signed the annulment papers before you guys came over.”

“Oh. Well, Gerard will be here for you anyway. He’s not the kind of guy who’ll bust off a commitment like this, you know?” his words were heartening, and I accepted his offer of Gerard’s number. Still, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to tell him. I had halfway hoped to drop all contact with him after sending in the papers, so I could raise the child on my own. But now that Frank knew, I was sure he would say something to Gerard if I didn’t. It would be better coming from my mouth than Frank’s.

When Frank and Juno left, I sat at the table, rubbing my stomach absently. I’m pregnant.

I’m pregnant.

Notes

Thank you for reading.