You should have never come
Chapter 26
...That’s when I notice the corner of Frank’s lip twitch.
Gerard’s POV
“Awwh Gerard is the color of his hair!” Diego coos annoyingly right above my ear as we walk up the stairs to our room, me trying to increase my speed but Diego successfully catching up. We are going to the pool, so we need to change into swimming clothes and be downstairs in maximum 10 minutes or Ballash will “end us in the cruelest way possible, about which he isn't going to tell us or we won’t get any sleep at night”.
“Fuck off,” I reply, skipping two steps at a time and pulling my body upwards by the railing.
“Are you blushing because of the love-making thing?”
I silently shake my head, because if I speak my voice will sound way too enthusiastic. Yes, I am blushing because of the love-making thing, but it’s the good kind of blush - I actually feel really good about myself, which hasn’t happened in quite a long time. In fact, I feel fucking great. Like a motherfucking princess.
“Are you going to like, lose your virginity?” Diego asks again, his wide smile revealing his stainless teeth.
I shake my head once again and raise my hand up to his face, wordlessly sticking out the middle finger without glancing in his direction. He slaps my hand away, giggling.
“HEEEEY! That’s rude! That’s it Gerard, you’re a real asshole, and I’m going to tell on you to Ballash and Frank,”
“Go on bitch,” I reply jokingly and nudge him with my shoulder, finally overtaking him and practically skipping towards our room. He laughs even more, throwing his head back and a lock of hair falls over his face.
“You got a note too though,” I mention as I step into the room, Diego following behind.
“Yeah, but mine’s nothing compared to yours,” he falls back onto his mattress, showing no signs that he’s planning to change for the pool. The bed squeaks painfully under him, and I imagine it breaking. “Who do you think sent them?” he asks.
“I have no idea,” I lie. I think I know exactly who sent them, but I’m definetly not going to say his name out loud. “They were really creepy though,” I add quietly, digging through my suitcase for my swimming boxers.
I just lied again; in my eyes the notes weren’t creepy, they were sweet.
Gerard I think I love you…
Gerard, actually, scratch that, I really love you…
Gerard, I kinda want to make love to you, but I-
Suddenly Diego bolts up, his eyes wide and his lips parted in an inaudible gasp.
“Oh my God, could it be Angelina?”
“Oh no, please no,” I groan, closing my eyes and rubbing my face with my hands. Bad thoughts start to find their way into my head. What if it really wasn’t Frank after all? It definitely could have been Angelina, considering the fact that she actually told me that she liked me during that stupid truth or dare game… Oh my fucking god.
I quickly change into swimming shorts and pull on a fresh T-shirt, dashing out of the room hoping to meet Frank in the hallway or to find him in his room. Sure enough, he is standing right outside his room, leaning against the wall. Shirtless. He staring intensely at his phone screen, hovering his thumb above the keyboard, occasionally tapping.
My heart hitches and I, without a warning, launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his tattooed neck and hang limp. He almost drops his phone and his arms wrap around my waist, holding me up. I kind of wish I was shirtless right now too so that I could feel his hot skin on mine, but that would probably be extremely embarrassing for me. I lift my face upwards to kiss him and he seals our lips together before hurriedly pulling away, not giving me a chance to deepen it.
To be honest I planned this to be the first time we kissed with tongue, but I guess that will have to wait.
“You okay?” he asks, scanning my face for signs of distress. I kiss him softly again and feel the irony taste of blood in my mouth: he has been biting his lips.
I pull away and nod.
“Yeah, I just need to ask you something…” I hesitate, feeling ridiculous. I wish I didn’t just say that, because now I must finish. “Were you the one who sent the notes?” I blurt out and feel blood rush into my cheeks. I hurriedly flick my gaze away from his face and he chuckles.
“Yeah,” he smiles and his hand grips my chin, making me face him again.
“So you-”
“Hey, how about we don’t discuss the notes because the reason I wrote them in the first place is because I don’t feel comfortable or self-assured enough to actually talk to you about them face-to-face,” he says, looking kind of embarrassed. His eyes flicker between me and the floor. I pause and a heavy silence falls over us, my question hanging in the air.
“...But did you really mean it? All the things you said?..” I ask anyways, mumbling and slurring my words together. He takes a deep breath, looking up at the white ceiling above us. I feel his bare chest rise against my clothed one.
“Yes, if that makes you feel any better,” he finally utters, his honey-hazel eyes returning to stare into mine.
“You know what Frank?”
“Hmm?”
“I think… I think I love you too,” I say and quickly smash our lips together, not giving him a chance to reply. He is taken by surprise for a moment before his fingers practically dig into my waist. He roughly pulls me even closer to himself, letting one of my hands tangle itself in his hair while the other runs along his hot, bare back. The kiss is rough, violent and rushed- it’s making up for all the times we aren’t even allowed to look at each other. It’s supposed to satisfy me, but it’s arousing my appetite even more. I can tell Frank feels the same by the way the tips of his fingers suddenly slide into my shorts, but only slightly pulling down the waistband, not touching or uncovering anything. I let out a small whimper, trying to move even closer to him, collide into one. All of the sudden, I feel Frank’s wet tongue brush my lower lip. My heart hitches in my chest and I hesitate for a moment, trying to gather my scattered thoughts together into a small, tight ball. Finally I catch up with what’s going on and slightly part my lips, granting him the permission I’ve been practically begging him to ask me for. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I realise that he’s currently dominating me. The sensation of his tongue against mine is overwhelming; it feels slimy, but in a great way that I never, ever want to forget. It’s sloppy and hurried, but it’s the most exciting thing that has happened to me in a long, long time.
This is my first real kiss. Ever.
Gerard’s POV
“Awwh Gerard is the color of his hair!” Diego coos annoyingly right above my ear as we walk up the stairs to our room, me trying to increase my speed but Diego successfully catching up. We are going to the pool, so we need to change into swimming clothes and be downstairs in maximum 10 minutes or Ballash will “end us in the cruelest way possible, about which he isn't going to tell us or we won’t get any sleep at night”.
“Fuck off,” I reply, skipping two steps at a time and pulling my body upwards by the railing.
“Are you blushing because of the love-making thing?”
I silently shake my head, because if I speak my voice will sound way too enthusiastic. Yes, I am blushing because of the love-making thing, but it’s the good kind of blush - I actually feel really good about myself, which hasn’t happened in quite a long time. In fact, I feel fucking great. Like a motherfucking princess.
“Are you going to like, lose your virginity?” Diego asks again, his wide smile revealing his stainless teeth.
I shake my head once again and raise my hand up to his face, wordlessly sticking out the middle finger without glancing in his direction. He slaps my hand away, giggling.
“HEEEEY! That’s rude! That’s it Gerard, you’re a real asshole, and I’m going to tell on you to Ballash and Frank,”
“Go on bitch,” I reply jokingly and nudge him with my shoulder, finally overtaking him and practically skipping towards our room. He laughs even more, throwing his head back and a lock of hair falls over his face.
“You got a note too though,” I mention as I step into the room, Diego following behind.
“Yeah, but mine’s nothing compared to yours,” he falls back onto his mattress, showing no signs that he’s planning to change for the pool. The bed squeaks painfully under him, and I imagine it breaking. “Who do you think sent them?” he asks.
“I have no idea,” I lie. I think I know exactly who sent them, but I’m definetly not going to say his name out loud. “They were really creepy though,” I add quietly, digging through my suitcase for my swimming boxers.
I just lied again; in my eyes the notes weren’t creepy, they were sweet.
Gerard I think I love you…
Gerard, actually, scratch that, I really love you…
Gerard, I kinda want to make love to you, but I-
Suddenly Diego bolts up, his eyes wide and his lips parted in an inaudible gasp.
“Oh my God, could it be Angelina?”
“Oh no, please no,” I groan, closing my eyes and rubbing my face with my hands. Bad thoughts start to find their way into my head. What if it really wasn’t Frank after all? It definitely could have been Angelina, considering the fact that she actually told me that she liked me during that stupid truth or dare game… Oh my fucking god.
I quickly change into swimming shorts and pull on a fresh T-shirt, dashing out of the room hoping to meet Frank in the hallway or to find him in his room. Sure enough, he is standing right outside his room, leaning against the wall. Shirtless. He staring intensely at his phone screen, hovering his thumb above the keyboard, occasionally tapping.
My heart hitches and I, without a warning, launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his tattooed neck and hang limp. He almost drops his phone and his arms wrap around my waist, holding me up. I kind of wish I was shirtless right now too so that I could feel his hot skin on mine, but that would probably be extremely embarrassing for me. I lift my face upwards to kiss him and he seals our lips together before hurriedly pulling away, not giving me a chance to deepen it.
To be honest I planned this to be the first time we kissed with tongue, but I guess that will have to wait.
“You okay?” he asks, scanning my face for signs of distress. I kiss him softly again and feel the irony taste of blood in my mouth: he has been biting his lips.
I pull away and nod.
“Yeah, I just need to ask you something…” I hesitate, feeling ridiculous. I wish I didn’t just say that, because now I must finish. “Were you the one who sent the notes?” I blurt out and feel blood rush into my cheeks. I hurriedly flick my gaze away from his face and he chuckles.
“Yeah,” he smiles and his hand grips my chin, making me face him again.
“So you-”
“Hey, how about we don’t discuss the notes because the reason I wrote them in the first place is because I don’t feel comfortable or self-assured enough to actually talk to you about them face-to-face,” he says, looking kind of embarrassed. His eyes flicker between me and the floor. I pause and a heavy silence falls over us, my question hanging in the air.
“...But did you really mean it? All the things you said?..” I ask anyways, mumbling and slurring my words together. He takes a deep breath, looking up at the white ceiling above us. I feel his bare chest rise against my clothed one.
“Yes, if that makes you feel any better,” he finally utters, his honey-hazel eyes returning to stare into mine.
“You know what Frank?”
“Hmm?”
“I think… I think I love you too,” I say and quickly smash our lips together, not giving him a chance to reply. He is taken by surprise for a moment before his fingers practically dig into my waist. He roughly pulls me even closer to himself, letting one of my hands tangle itself in his hair while the other runs along his hot, bare back. The kiss is rough, violent and rushed- it’s making up for all the times we aren’t even allowed to look at each other. It’s supposed to satisfy me, but it’s arousing my appetite even more. I can tell Frank feels the same by the way the tips of his fingers suddenly slide into my shorts, but only slightly pulling down the waistband, not touching or uncovering anything. I let out a small whimper, trying to move even closer to him, collide into one. All of the sudden, I feel Frank’s wet tongue brush my lower lip. My heart hitches in my chest and I hesitate for a moment, trying to gather my scattered thoughts together into a small, tight ball. Finally I catch up with what’s going on and slightly part my lips, granting him the permission I’ve been practically begging him to ask me for. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I realise that he’s currently dominating me. The sensation of his tongue against mine is overwhelming; it feels slimy, but in a great way that I never, ever want to forget. It’s sloppy and hurried, but it’s the most exciting thing that has happened to me in a long, long time.
This is my first real kiss. Ever.
Notes
Today in the news:
1. Gerard's hair is still blonde af, and I'm kinda (maybe) disappointed. I currently feel kinda depressed cuz he's gonna be in Russia today and tomorrow (and tomorrow he's going to play in Moscow which is my hometown), even tho I saw him like a week ago.. Still I literally never get tired of him, I could be going to his shows literally every day and still love every second of it.
2. Nothing But Thieves aka senpais favourited my tweet
3. You guys r extremely supportive of me and my art and it makes me feel really good about myself, thank you for that)
I'm going to finally decide that this fanfic is actually decent only after people start making fan arts/collages/playlists for it, no matter how selfish that sounds
I don't believe in myself enough, heh
AAAAaaand I've started a new fanfic, here's the link if anyone is interested:
http://www.mychemicalromancefanfiction.com/Story/66696/Reality-Without-You/
Notice how it's number is 66696 *success*
This was actually the first fanfiction I ever read. (Hence that was like a year and a half ago)
5/1/17