...“I swear on my life it’s nothing bad, I love you to bits,” he adds and hurriedly disappears behind his door, not letting me say a word.

Gerard’s POV

Fucking hell Ballash, put the damned guitar down before I…

“Let me take you down, ‘cause I’m going toooo, strawberry fiiieeelds…” Ballash sings, obviously very, very fucking proud of himself. He has probably forgotten the next part of the lyrics as he continues: “Living is easy with eyes clooosed, misunderstanding all you seee…”. This is not how the fucking song goes, you piece of shit.

I mentally beg for someone to get out of bed and slap him (possibly beat the poor instrument out of his hands) before my ears start to bleed, but all the guys are pretending to be far far away in the Dreamland. I turn to face the wall, pull the covers over my head and groan, trying to crawl under the pillow.

Meanwhile, Ballash switches songs. The sounds of the wailing guitar suddenly stop and he starts to sing acapella, which might as well be the worst decision he has ever made in his whole life.

“Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman... Wait, wait mister postmaaaaan” he pauses, taking a breath. When he starts again, his voice is at least several classes higher. “Mister postman look and seeee Is there a letter in your bag for meeee”

If it was legal, he’d probably already be lying on the floor with a knife stuck in his back, possibly with my DNA on the handle. And I wouldn’t regret a minute of it.

“Ballash, please stop…” I hear Diego’s faint pleads from a nearby bed. I hear the sound of chair scraping the floor as Ballash leaps off it.

“HA!” he shouts triumphantly. I can just imagine him standing in the middle of the room, pointing his finger at the helpless Diego, who just wants to get a second more of that precious sleep. “I HEARD YOU! YOU ARE AWAKE! GET UP GET UP GETUPGETUPGETUP!”

Diego doesn’t reply, and I just cuddle more into the blankets, my body slowly mixing in with the bed, becoming one. Ballash quiets down and I decide that he actually considered giving us a day of rest, so I don’t bother to look at him. The room is still for a moment before Ballash stomps out, leaving us alone. I’m on the verge of sleep once again, when suddenly the blanket is yanked right off me. The cold air hits me and my skin is immediately covered in goose-bumps.

“Ballaaashhh,” I groan, trying to pull the blanket back but the counselor has a firm grasp on it. I open my eyes to see… Frank?

He’s standing above me, laughing, his head thrown back and his whole body shaking. He’s clutching my blanket in his tattooed hands and I, without giving out how pleasured I am to see him, try to pull it back away. I use all my force and eventually Frank gives in, falling on top of me and giggling maniacally.

“What the fuck” Drake suddenly breathes out and Frank stops laughing, pushing himself off the bed on his arms. He straightens his back, pulls on a serious face and looks over the room. Saying that I feel awkward as fuck is an underestimation.

“If you don’t get up right this second, I’ll be forced to eject all your blankets,” the corner of his lip turns up in a proud smile and he nods to us, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

“Did that really just happen?” Diego asks.

“What?” I say.

“Frank and you just basically fucked in front of us?”

I feel my face heat up in a blush.

“Fuck off, of course not. Your jokes are lame, Diego,”

“We don’t want no gay goth sceeene, in this hooouseee…” Diego sings in reply, struggling to contain a laugh. Since when is everyone suddenly so musical?

“I’m not gay,” I state bluntly, turning my back to the guys to change into a fresh T-shirt.
I wish I didn’t say anything at all, just ignored it, because now I feel like being gay is something bad; by lying, I basically blamed myself for it. And Frank too, assuming he’s homosexual. And all gays in the world, basically.

Does me denying the fact that I’m gay when I really am make me a homophobic? No, that’s stupid; if I was a homophobic I probably wouldn’t be gay, right?

I still feel like shit though, and it’s strange because no one at school knows about my sexuality. They’d casually joke about it and I would say the exact same thing every time: “I am not gay,”, and I’ve never felt bad for saying it before.

I let the guys go downstairs and stay to brush my teeth. I go into the bathroom and quickly start, not wanting to be late for breakfast. I was late yesterday, and when I came downstairs they had no chocolate cereal left, and it’s the only one that I like.

I kind of hope that Frank comes in to talk to me while we’re alone, but he doesn’t. After getting dressed I sit on my bed for about two minutes, waiting for him. Finally I give up and sprint downstairs, quietly humming “Strawberry Fields” and mentally cursing Ballash for it.

***
I quietly take my spot next to Diego, only giving him a small nod before turning to look at the front of the dining where Ballash is standing, waiting for us to shut the fuck up. Nobody pays much attention though, and the chatter only seems to grow. Frank is sitting in the corner with the other counselors, drinking orange juice and laughing, so I decide to not bother him.

“SILENCE!” Ballash suddenly shouts and everyone gasps, finally turning their attention to him. His lips part in a proud smile as he looks over the room. I quickly glance at Frank to see him already looking at me. The corner of his lip slightly curves up, almost invisibly, before his gaze shifts back to Ballash.

“Now this is better,” Ballash says. “Today we are finally bringing in the schedule which we are going to follow till the end of camp. Worm, would you be so kind to read it out loud?”

The woman smiles, pulling her chair out and standing up next to Ballash.

“After breakfast, each group - elementary, medium and high- will have their own activity. It’s going to last all the way till lunch. After lunch all groups have an hour and a half of free time, during which they can go to the grocery store. If you are going to the grocery store, you must be accompanied by a counselor, and you most certainly are not allowed to bring any food into the rooms. During that time you may also get your phone for ten minutes to call your parents. After the free time, we all gather in the area behind the hotel, and from there all groups split up into different activities once again. Then you have dinner, and after dinner there are usually activities in the field,”

“Did you notice the mailbox outside the dining?” Ballash asks after Worm is done speaking. Several people shout a “yes”.

“You can write notes to each other and put them in that box. During the meetings after the free time, we are going to give them out to you,” he says. “If you are going to write a loooove letter I suggest you don’t put your name there, because we are going to read each and every one aloud. So, unless you want everyone to know who your crush is, make it anonymous.”

Everyone laughs.

Notes