You should have never come

..."Wifi password," he explains before storming out.

Gerard's POV

"Every time he does that, it freaks me out," Diego says as the door shuts behind Frank.

"Does what?" I ask.

"This. Every time he comes in, I'm scared he's gonna slice our throats or something," he reaches for the jellybeans, picking the pink ones out before pouring them into his mouth. Why the fuck does everyone like cotton candy so much?

"And now I'm scared he's gonna rape us," he looks up at me, swallowing down the candy. "I mean, I'm scared he's gonna rape you and we are going to be forced to watch,"

Adham bursts out in a laugh, slapping his thigh and throwing his head back, banging it against the wall. I hope it hurts, and I'm pretty sure it does, because he immediately calms down and winces, hissing out in pain. Good.

"Will you ever stop," I roll my eyes in an attempt to look indifferent, but it probably made me look like a girl who has just been told that her crush likes her back, but she can't just give in because she wants to have a reputation of a play-hard.

"I bet you'd enjoy it if he raped you," I grit my teeth, starting to get more and more annoyed every second.

A while back, I used to take anger management pills, and it wasn't even against my will.
My parents didn't force me, it was completely my idea. The smallest things pissed me the fuck off, and I was honestly starting to get terrified of myself. I just couldn't keep the anger to myself, no matter how hard I tried. All my friends, even the most loyal ones who I've known since early childhood, became my enemies, saying that I'm "crazy" and that I needed "therapy", possibly even a "short trip to a mental institution".

Maybe I did, actually. Maybe I needed a short trip to a mental institution. My parents entering my room for not more than five minutes, only meaning to ask me about my math test, pissed me off to no ends, and their "visits" usually ended in me screaming and getting hysterical. And I'm not even bad at math! When my grandma, who lives in another state, texted me, wanting to know how her favorite grandson was doing while I was trying to finish my homework, I honestly wanted to slam my phone against the wall. My reactions were scary.

"I've known you for only two days, but I really think I hate you," I mumble, breaking the eye contact with him and reaching for the jelly beans once again. Oh god, I'm going to gain so much weight...

"Aww c'mon, you know you love me, don't even try to deny," Diego punches my arm (too hard, on my opinion) and I force out a laugh. Hell, this is awkward.

***
Time Lapse- next morning

Gerard's POV

it seems to me like I'm sharing a room with pigs. I'm the only one who had a shower yesterday, and now I'm the only one brushing my teeth. I wasn't expecting much sanitary from Adham or Drake, but I can't help but feel like Diego failed me. After breakfast, I'm going to make that stinky motherfucker take a shower no matter what it takes. I hate it when people are dirty, I just can't be around them when I imagine how sweaty they are.

I wash the toothbrush and slip it into my green bag. I zip it up, carefully setting it on the shelf above the sink. I look at my reflection and brush my hair back with my hand out of my face. I think I look the best when I look up at someone without actually raising my head- more like looking up with my eyes. I look kinda evil and mischievous. Eyeliner used to be able to get me that look, but I don't use it anymore. I think raw skin color looks better with my long red hair- it looks wild, as if I just came from a forest without a cosmetic supply. Now that I'm actually not scared of my skin getting a bit tanned, it's even better.

Everyone is already downstairs, and I just hope that there is still a free spot for me next to Diego, or I'll have to sit with the counselors. Angelina did yesterday, I saw- I think she came late on purpose though, because she didn't seem all that upset to share a bench with Worm.

I kind of want to sit with Tom, even though I have no idea who that is. I feel like we are going to get on once I tell him about the Frank thing- it can be my new conversation starter.

Apparently Tom and I are the most attractive guys here, but I feel like Diego could beat us all, to be honest. I don't even need to see Tom's face to know.

Not that I'm gay for Diego or anything, I'm just stating facts.

I pull on a black T-shirt and dark, kind of reddish skinny jeans- yesterday at dinner Ballash said we are going out for a hike in the morning and we better wear something comfortable enough to spend three active hours in, but fuck that- I may not feel the best, but at least I'll look the best, and that's all what matters.

I make sure all the lights are on in the room- I wanna do some shit to them, so that when I leave, they'll remember me as "devil child". I'm not sure how not turning off the lights would help me gain that nickname, but I gotta start with something- and that something will be increasing their electricity bills. Possibly clogging the toilet with toilet paper, but I'll leave that for the night.

When I finally decide that I'm ready, I slip out of the door, shutting it behind myself. What sucks is that we don't have keys- anyone can come in any moment. And possibly turn off the lights.

I'm too busy in my own thoughts to notice the door creak behind me, and suddenly a hand lands on my shoulder. I turn my head backwards to see who it is.

"Diego, seriously, not fucking funny, I thought you were-"

Frank. That is Frank.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" I start, completely off guard and dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I understand, it's okay. I just wanted to ask you something. Does the wifi work well for you?"

What?

"Uh, yeah, we actually watched a movie yesterday," I say. We didn't actually watch a movie, I have no idea why I had to lie, but I did.

"Really? Because mine is like, really slow, I couldn't even load Chrome yesterday,"

"Sucks,"

"Yeah, and since yours is working so well I was wondering if I could spend about 10 minutes in your room every evening? You see, I gotta write the blog posts for the camp website, and I'm too lazy to go all the way downstairs. Plus, that janitor lady doesn't like me,"

I snort. "She is the one who pours tea out in the morning, right?"

"Yeah, that's her. So can I?"

I think for a second before answering. Surely, he might be kind of scary sometimes, but everyone has their bad days, right? Plus, it's only 10 minutes, it's not like he's going to write for an hour or two.

"Sure, I don't think Diego would mind,"

"Only Diego? Don't Drake and Adham live with you, too?"

Shit, why does he have to ask questions?

"Yeah, but they don't mind anything. They just sorta follow Diego around,"

"I see," Frank says and his lips part in a smile. He lip piercing isn't there again- why does he keep on taking it out? I think it looks good.

"Oh and I noticed that you didn't turn off the lights in your room- would you be so kind to go and do that, devil child?" He laughs, throwing his head back and I blush, looking down at my hands.

Sometimes I talk to myself without realizing.

***

Time Lapse- downstairs

"Dude, where were you?" Diego asks as I slump on the chair next to him, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. Mom keeps on telling me to not do that, because I look too "feminine", but I can't help it. At least I'm not braiding it.

"Frank stopped me," I reply without thinking. I scan our table- it's empty, no plates or glasses on it. That means they haven't been called to get food yet, so technically I'm not late.

"Frank?" Drake asks, eyeing me carefully and I realize that my word choice might have been wrong.

"Not like that, dumbass, he only asked me about wifi. Apparently his isn't working, so he's going to spend about 10 minutes in our room every evening,"

"What? Why?"

"He needs to write blog posts for the camp website,"

"But what if he decides to watch a movie, or even worse- jack off?" Diego exclaims, comically throwing his hands into the air. His eyes then focus on me, and his lips curve up in a smile. "Oh yeah, I forgot- he doesn't need to jack off as long as you are close by," he wiggles his eyebrows and bursts out in a laugh.

"Your jokes are a bit repetitive," I say, propping my head on my hand.

"I know, and I'm working on it,"

***

Time Lapse- the hike

Gerard's POV

Turns out Ballash wasn't joking when he said we were going out for a three hour long hike in the forest right after breakfast. And he was right when he told us to wear something comfortable, too. Too bad I didn't care enough, and now I'm stuck in these damned jeans. It's only been one hour since we left the hotel, but it might be the hardest hour of my whole life- climbing rocks, walking through mud puddles which look more like mini-ponds, and walking right through obstacles that anyone with a common sense would walk around.

Somehow Rodrick is close to me again, and he's rambling on about some playstation game his parents gave him a week before he left for the camp. I don't really give a shit since I don't even own a playstation, but it looks like just talking about it pleasures him- he doesn't care about the audience. Diego doesn't seem that absorbed in the conversation either- he keeps on nudging me in the ribs with his elbow and pointing back with his eyes, asking me to wait for everyone to pass and to walk behind everyone. I don't really wanna go to the back of the line though- I know that Frank is going to be there, and I feel a bit awkward around him. But at the same time, Rodrick is really getting on my nerves, so the further I'm able to get away from him, the better.

After the sixth nudge and a raise of an eyebrow from Diego, I finally nod and slow down my pace, letting my dear playstation friend walk forward. He hardly notices that I'm missing, and I feel kind of guilty, like a real asshole. The feeling doesn't last for long though, as Diego grabs my elbow and drags me behind him to the end of the line. On one side of the thin path there is a precipice with a small river running in the bottom, and I feel like if I make one wrong step, I'll fall right in. I probably wouldn't break any bones, but it will be a guaranteed humiliation, and I wouldn't want that.

"God, I'm glad we got rid of Rodrick," Diego breathes out as we take place between Frank and Angelina, who's walking together with some other Russian girl I don't know the name of. It's good that they don't speak good English, because I wouldn't want them to understand what we are saying. I don't really care about Frank hearing us, because he's wearing earphones.

"Yeah, he was getting kind of annoying,"

"Do you even have a playstation?"

"No, my mom says that I'd become a playstation maniac if I laid my hands on one,"

"Me neither, I never really wanted it. My younger brother has one though, he's 9," Diego fumbles with his fingers.

"Really? What's his name?"

"Matias. My dad wanted to name him Sebastian, but both mom and I hate that name, so now he's Matias,"

"I have a brother too, Michael. He's 12,"

Now that I'm completely out of my breath, exhausted, my legs aching and sorta hungry, I wonder what that motherfucker is doing. Apparently he already has enough friends back home, so he doesn't need to go to a camp to fix his communication skills.

Oh mother, just wait till he enters puberty, just wait.

My backpack is uncomfortably heavy, too- every time you go out, you must have a full water bottle, a raincoat and a couple other things, depends on where you're going, in it. Ballash checks all backpacks personally, as if our life's depend on it. I personally think I look good with wet hair, so a little rain would help.

"You know, I really like your hair," Diego suddenly says, turning his head to look at me.

"Thanks, it's usually a long black mess, but I decided to try something new for summer,"

"Are you like, an emo?"

Great, this is the question I'm most scared of and that I hate the most- people asking me if I'm emo. Fucking tagging me without my consent. The question is obviously aimed to embarrass and confuse me, if not hurt, and I never have an answer ready. If you ask someone if they are emo, you automatically move to the very bottom of my "respected list"- chances are, I'll try to avoid you as much as possible and constantly discuss you with myself.

I shrug, feeling heat rush into my face. I feel so miserable and tiny. But I really shouldn't, because I have nothing to be ashamed of. But at the same time, I kind of do.

"Do you like, dye your hair black and wear eyeliner?" He continues nagging me.

I wish he'd just stop, because I'm about to punch him in the jaw, possibly break it. I wish he never even started this conversation.

I shrug again. "Sometimes," I say, concentrating my gaze on Angelina's turquoise hair. Only now I notice a thin braid running through it- it's very neat.

"What do you mean- sometimes?"

Suddenly another voice breaks into our conversation and I turn my head back to see Frank glaring at Diego's back, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Get off his back, Diego. You aren't being nice,"

Diego just snorts and turns to me, his eyes laughing,

"You aren't mad, are you Gee?" he asks.

"Uh, no, of course not, why would I be?" I stutter and only hope he doesn't notice how embarrassed I actually am.

I hear Frank let out a loud breath behind us. He sounds... Disappointed?

Notes

This piece of shit is now SECOND on the popular page right after YOU CAN CRY ALL YOU WANT TO I DONT CARE!! Tbh that fanfic is the reason I got an account on this website in the first place, and I could never even think that I'd ever be able to get to its level, thank you so much for subscribing and staying with me and everything))

im not really sure when I'm going to update next, because im going back to Russia on the 28th then it's New Year and everything so I'm going to be busy having panic attacks since I still don't have any presents ready... I am broke, plus I don't really know my ways around Moscow so I can't buy anything, and I don't have enough time till 31st to craft anything decent
jesus help me

oh and guys, I have to add something to my previous authors notes (the one about singing). If you sing for your friends and they tell you you're bad, IT DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE BAD! Your friends, no matter how close you are, are going to take all chances they get to put you down, especially if they are self conscious about themselves, which they probably are since you know, puberty and shit.
DONT TRUST THOSE ASSHOLES!