Return To Me, My Love

The next time I wake up the sun is shining bright in my aching eyes and my whole body feels over heated and heavy, pain shooting from every cell of my being and just as I let my eyes slip closed again I hear voices and footsteps coming closer to the alley and Franks voice shouts out my name, my whole body flinching at the loud sudden noise and I try to pull myself across the pavement towards a nearby dumpster, just wanting to hide and be left alone but the pain of my broken rib is too much to bare and I slump back into the ground, hoping that if I stay still maybe whoever is coming will keep on walking but a few seconds later I hear someone yell out for Frank, their voice frantic and suddenly what seems like thousands of footsteps come charging at me and when hands touch me I lose it, screaming out and throwing my fists and feet out in an attempt to fight them off and I hear Franks voice sobbingly tell me to stop, multiple hands grabbing at me and I continue to scream, my screams turning from frightened to pained as their touches press on places I either have bruises or no skin and by the time I'm in someone's arms I have gone limp again, my energy completely drained and all I can do is make weak little whimpers and pleas to not be hurt anymore to whoever is carrying me.

I am taken into the bus and laid on the couch in the front lounge and I get the feeling I am being stared at, a voice saying "Get back and give him some room" as I open my eyes again and I come face to face with Frank, the tour manager standing over his shoulder and I see most of the techs and band crowding around behind him, my eyes immediately scanning for Ian but I don't see him and I feel my heart slow down again. I continue to stare into my crowd of onlookers until Frank gently touches my forehead, his fingers pushing my hair back as he softly says my name and I snap my eyes back to his, tear tracks on his cheeks and he softly sobs out "Who did this to you?" I continue to stare at him but don't say a word and as the silence drags on Frank sobs out "Baby" but doesn't press it any further, both of us falling silent until the tour manager breaks the silence to tell us an ambulance is here and the lounge clears out to make way for the paramedics and Frank disappears from view as two strangers start to poke and prod me, asking questions and I try to shift away from their hands, my eyes slipping closed and my body goes heavy as I slip into unconsciousness again.

Two days later I am still in hospital, hooked up to an IV and my body is being pumped with various medications and antibiotics to help fight off infection. I am yet to speak to anyone, having no will to, but Mikey is still by my bedside where he has been since I first woke up in here after being brought here from the bus, just staying with me and letting me grip onto his hand as he watches over me and I find myself slightly relaxed knowing he's here. "Hey" Mikey says softly when he notices I'm awake and I turn my head to look at him, my hand slipping back into his before I turn my head the other way and look out the window, the sky a cloudless blue and I clench my eyes shut again, just wanting the release unconsciousness brings and as my breathing starts to even out I hear the door open and I force my eyes back open to see Frank coming into the room with some flowers and a box of my favourite chocolates.

As Frank approaches the bed Mikey squeezes my hand gently to get my attention before standing and leaning in, whispering in my ear "Gee I'm going to step out for a minute, I promise you Frank will look after you and he won't let anyone else in here. Is that okay?" I nod slightly, Mikey squeezing my hand gently one last time before letting it go and he pauses to whisper something to Frank on his way out the door, closing it behind him and leaving Frank and I alone. Frank hesitates for a second before continuing his way around to the seat that Mikey just left and he remains standing as he smiles softly and reaches out to sit the flowers and chocolates on the table beside the bed. "Hi baby" Frank coos softly, reaching down and resting his hand on the mattress beside mine, keeping a small distance between them and I stare up at him for a few long seconds before sliding mine across and brushing my fingers over the back of Franks, his hand immediately flipping over and gently taking mine. Frank takes a seat and we remain silent for a few minutes, just staring at each other as we hold hands and I feel oddly comforted now that he's here despite everything that happened before the attack, until Frank swallows hard and says "Baby I'm so sorry for what happened the other night, I'm just.....I'm hurt and trying to figure out why you.....what did I do to push you to Ian again..." At the mention of Ian's name I cut Frank off with a loud involuntary pained whine and Frank pauses, staring into my eyes before saying "Gee, who did this to you?" I fall silent again, my heart racing as I feel terror grip my whole body and I start to shake my head, Franks face pulling into a frown as he says "Ian" and I feel my whole body tense and flinch and Frank lets out a low growl as he tries to release my hand but I tighten my grip on him to keep him there and as my breathing becomes choppy again Frank takes a deep breath and tries to pull away again and I force myself to speak. "I tried to tell you" is all I manage to get out, my free hand coming up to rest over my chest near the bite mark and Franks face becomes even more enraged before his expression changes to sadness and his eyes well with tears as he leans down over me and gently presses his lips to the corner of my mouth. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I'll never forgive myself for not listening to you. I'm so sorry I got so mad" he whispers softly and I feel my own eyes well with tears again as I sit up slightly, pressing myself into Franks chest and his arms wrap around me, pressing a little too tight but I bite down the whine of protest in my throat, needing to be held and protected and as I bring my hands up to wrap around Franks shoulders I break, loud sobs escaping me as I bury my face in his neck and fall apart, his arms the only things keeping me together.

Notes