Return To Me, My Love

I wander around for half an hour before finding a coffee shop and I go inside, making my way to the counter and ordering with difficulty, my French not that great and the girl behind the counter doesn't speak much English but she smiles and helps me as best she can and I receive what I wanted. Once I have my drink, leaving the girl a good tip, I find an empty table towards the back of the store and I sit down, holding the cup between both hands to warm them back up again and I watch the steam swirling up off the surface of the hot liquid. Once the coffee is cool enough to drink I pick up the cup to take my first sip when my phone starts ringing in my pocket and I see Franks name on the screen. I consider ignoring it for a few seconds, planning to let him know how it feels but I can't bring myself to do it, sighing as I hit answer and bringing the phone to my ear. "What?" I answer and Frank says "Where are you?" "Out" I tell him and he sighs and says "Come back." "Why? So you can ignore me some more?" I shoot back and he goes silent for a few seconds before saying "Don't Gerard, you know I had to be there, if it was your dad I wouldn't be giving you a hard time." "No if it was my dad I wouldn't have made you stay at the hotel and not called and then blown you off afterwards" I say, my voice cracking the more I get upset and I bite my bottom lip as I go silent, not wanting to cry in public. "Just come back" Frank says, sounding annoyed and I swallow hard as I say "No" hanging up and turning my phone off. I finish my coffee in peace before leaving the store and walking further away from the hotel until I come across a park and I sit at an empty bench, just watching the day happening around me, watching happy couples walk hand in hand and parents playing with small children and before long I crack, burying my face in my hands as I sob quietly to myself.

After I pull myself together I sit back up and wipe my cheeks dry, reaching into my pocket and pulling my phone out and when I turn it back on I have fifty missed calls from Frank. I slip the phone back into my pocket before standing up and walking through the park, heading back to the hotel and by the time I get there I am shivering, the wind having picked up on my walk back. I cross the lobby and get into the elevator, going up to our floor before going to our room and letting myself in and when I get inside the room is empty, Frank not here but I don't really care as I go into the bathroom and strip off, stepping into the shower and turning the water on fairly hot to heat me back up. Once I'm warm enough I step out and dry off, pulling my boxers back on and going back into the room, grabbing my bag and pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a comfy shirt, dressing before climbing into bed and pulling the covers over my head as I curl up and close my eyes, my body exhausted and my mind needing a break. I manage to sleep for about an hour before the sound of a door closing wakes me and just as I open my eyes I feel the bed dip beside me and suddenly Frank is right there, his lips searching out mine and sealing our mouths together as he kisses me rough and frantic and I groan softly as I brace my hands against his chest and push him off. "Babe" he says softly and I shake my head as I roll over and turn my back to him, Frank reaching out after a few seconds and touching my shoulder but I shrug him off and say "Don't." "Oh come on Gerard" he snaps and I roll my head to look at him, shooting him the worst glare I can manage and he remains silent as I turn my head back and reclose my eyes. "Seriously? You're just going to act like this? Our vow renewal won't be very nice if you're gonna be like...." "You'll be fucking lucky to get a vow renewal from me" I snap, rolling out of bed and standing, turning to face him again and Franks eyes widen as his mouth drops open and I keep going, "I can't believe you did this to me again, after everything." "Baby I...." "Save it" I tell him, reaching out and grabbing my pillow before saying "I'm going home tomorrow, I don't want to do this anymore" and walking into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind myself before dropping the pillow and sinking down onto the floor, feeling tears spill down my cheeks again and I curl up on the floor, crying myself back to sleep as I feel my heart ache.

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