Thank You For The Venom

Gerard broke down when he got the call about Ray. It happened to seconds after I stepped in the front door. I’ve heard it said that he’s too soft for the business. That he gets too attached in a business where you can’t guarantee you’ll see twenty five. But no one would say this to Gerard, he may not have wrought iron emotions but he is cunning and he commands a loyal and trusting following.
Gerard sinks to his knees in the no man’s land between the kitchen and sitting room areas. For a while he just kneels there, as if in prayer, hands clasped to his chest. I move forward and say, “Ray is…” and he bursts into tears, hands flying up to block his ears, to stop the bad news. He shakes as he lowers himself to the floor. Mikey seems to have gone home.
Gerard coughs trying to catch his breath as sobs rip through. He has the emotional stability of a young child. His phone rings, instead of answering it he slides it to me and continues to shake. His sobs now inaudible with ferocity.
“Hello?” I say into the phone.
“Frank?” the voice replies.
“Yea?”
“What’s wrong with Gerard?” the voice I think belongs to a guy called Shaggy, named after his resemblance to the character from Scooby do.
“He’s, er, not here right now. What is it?”
He makes a weird grunting noise, “who made you second in command?” he asks indignantly.
“No one… i…. what is it?”
“Toro the baker is alive and in a critical condition. His house fucking blew up. Tell boss, I’m gone to see if I can’t get my hands on that J. Vincent, the guy we think does their heroine and see if I can’t blow up him,” he hangs up angrily. Fuuuuck. Jacky did supply us with heroin for a few years but he moved across country recently, only his ex and kids are there.
I don’t think Shaggy would kill kids.
I put the phone on the ground and go to sit next to Gerard. “Hey, Ray is alive,” I say soft as I can. “Just in hospital but they’re gonna make him good and healthy again okay?”
He flies up straight and stares at me, eyeliner running down his smooth cheeks and pooling at his chin. “They’re just such dirty players,” he gushes and lies his head against my chest. “Only this is one game where they can’t be sent off, or showed a card, or suspended. They can only be fought dirty. They can only be sent off, permanently!” he says, shaking in rage.
“Yea, it’s not fair.” I coo. I could fucking kill Stan myself. He just likes to collect blood on his hands.

I’m lying in bed. I’m not asleep but I haven’t got much of a chance to try nod off. My mind is racing. The bakery in flames, the guy who just hired us to kill some girl’s fiancé. The fact that we literally just killed a guy for being engaged to some girl. The fact that I keep referring to MG as “we”.
“They” would be more fitting. Why the fuck do I get so sucked into working with them. It’s been a month. A month and I have only seen Ryan twice and Ronnie never.
My door opens. The light that creeps over my bed and into my eyes is blinding in comparison to the dark I was about to sleep to. “What,” I croak.
A black silhouette casts a shadow, the only respite from the light. The shadow moves forward and closes the door behind him. When my eyes adjust again I see Gerard slinking against the door.
I sit up straight looking down at my new boss. “Um… Gerard…”
His eyes lift to mine. He’s pupils are huge, even though it’s dark. “Ray made great meth,” he says, walking on his knees towards my bed. “But I always preferred pills, and booze,” he flops into my bed. “And the amount of pills I’ve taken, counteracts the booze I’m drinking.” He grins a bit, waving the bottle of Smirnoff in front of my face.
I take it off him and put it on the windowsill above my bed. “Don’t take it unless you’re going to drink it,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Gerard…” I say looking down on him.
“Drink it or would you prefer one of these,” he grins and reveals a tub of pills. I grab them off him.
“Gerard, stop it,” I say, putting them up too.
He sighs and rests his head on top of my bed, “I’m bad at this Frankie.”
“Bad at what?” I ask, bending down to rub his back.
“I’m bad at this, but I think you’re making me better,” he purrs, “you must be making me better because I was worse. Then there was you. And now I’m still very very bad but I am better.”
“Gerard… what?” He shoots up and launches himself at me. He lies, fully covering me, and kissing the general area around my mouth. I begin to panic and my eyesight threatens to go truly black. No I think No you were doing so well. You were going so well. I push back at my memories and at the black in the side of vision. He’s my boss but he’s not the boss I chant to myself.
Gerard finally notices my shaking and sits up, straddling me but letting me see and breathe freely, “I’m sorry. Fuck I’m so sorry. I forgot…” he tips over and is about to fall off me, off my bed, onto the ground.
“Gerard!” I half gasp, half groan as I grab his arm and yank him upright. He falls on top of me again, only this time his head’s on my chest and our legs are intertwined together with the blankets.
After a while I think Gerard has fallen asleep. His breath is easy and in time with the rising and falling of my chest. I can’t sleep now, not with Gerard lying on me like this. I reach behind me and grab the vodka. It’s almost full which means Gerard must have drank at least a full one to himself. I tip it up and drain it. Something I’ve been practising since I was fourteen, when Venom drank, you drank as much as you could on your turn because chances are it won’t come around again.
I put the empty bottle back up and feel it move through me and work its magic on my brain. After about ten minutes my brain feels like a ball of cotton wool. I suddenly become a lot more aware of the guy sleeping on me, and where his hands are. One is on my chest, under his head. The other is lower, resting on the top of my briefs.
I feel so conscious of how my body feels under him. I feel everything. I want to sleep now to get rid of this feeling. But I can’t sleep can I, not when I feel myself so hard against Gerard’s stomach.
I lie their awkwardly, looking through vodka fuzzed eyes at a crack in the ceiling.
After a few minutes Gerard jolts awake and flings himself to the ground. In a weird panic he crawls to the bedroom door. “What!?” I slur after him.
“I… I need to… I need to,” he falls over and lies in front of my door.
“What the fuck Gerard?!” I exclaim, pushing the bed sheets of my lower legs and stumbling down next to him. I lie on my stomach next to him. He bursts out laughing and I join him. “I like like you,” he whispers amongst his giggles.
“I like like you too,” I giggle-whisper back.
“Do you?!” he says, rather shocked. I nod as much as I can considering I’m on the floor and the door is just beside me.
He giggles and pushes himself into a wavering seated position. I can’t focus in on him very well. I sit up to, propped against the door. He crawls over to me, looking up flirtatiously from under his bangs. “Want to do something fun.”
“I don’t really know how,” I slur. He sits beside me and leans his head on my shoulder.
“You have before though, right?”
“Never voluntarily.” He stiffens and swings himself around so that his head is on my lap and he’s staring up at me.
“Never?” he mumbles, “Like never ever? You were always forced?” I nod and he winces.
I stare down at his wide eyes and he stares back up at me. He starts mumbling, “I’m sorry,” over and over.
“It’s fine!” I say and Gerard rolls over so he is face down on my lap. I’m actually getting harder, this is scaring me slightly, but in an okay way.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles into my legs and then shuffles around and pulls my briefs off.
“Gerard-” my own breath silences me as Gerard takes me in his mouth. My mind threatens to flash pictures of when it was reversed but god bless vodka which makes them go away.
It’s a wonder I’m not an alcoholic. Maybe it’s because I can’t really afford to be.
Gerard moves his mouth over my length and runs his tongue over my head. I groan embarrassingly loudly. Gerard smiles over me and starts to go faster. I feel the well build up in me insanely. “I don’t- I won’t last”
Gerard comes up to say, “you don’t have to,” and then returns with more speed than before. I can’t help but buck my hips and groan as I fill his mouth. He coughs a little and then comes back up. “Let’s sleep now,” he slurs.
“What about your turn,” I slur, dazed.
“What about it,” he grins and stumbles into my bed. I pull up my briefs half way and stumble after him.

We wake up intertwined and cold. I only wake because Gerard is shivering. His eyes are bloodshot when they fly open. “Oh fuck.. what… I didn’t, did I. Fuck I’m sorry,” and he begins the apologising again.
“Stop apologising. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I say. His “sorry”s were only making my head hurt more. He nods and heaves himself from the bed. I fall back on my pillow as he leaves my room. He’s naked but I don’t think he realises this. I look down and I am too. Time to sleep off a little more of this headache.

“I have a job for three of you,” Gerard says to Mikey, Guy and me. It’s six o clock. “I think that this guy is the new leader and we need him gone. He’d be the one who set fire to Ray’s as well as rape Shanty so can he be gone by midnight?”
I stare at the photo of Stan. He’s so unphotogenic it’s almost funny. I have no problem with ridding the world of Stan but he never travels alone. “He’s literally never alone,” Guy says, backing up my thought. I never new it but Guy is the Venom stalker. He just follows them around, literally. And what’s most disturbing is they never notice.
I nod. “Yea that’s why I’m sending three of you,” Gerard says. “Where will he be tonight Guy?”
“Uh he’ll be going to that fucking bar at about ten,” Guy replies, correctly.
“Great, I’ll get some guns yea?” Gerard smiles.
We’re in position early. We hide in the shadows till the car pulls up. Two guys hop out of the brand new car. I can’t tell who they are but next thing I know Guy strolls out of the shadows, gun pointed, “Stand still.”
The two guys jump and reach for their weapons. Me and Mikey walk out behind him, guns posed.
“Frank?” A voice says, oh god it’s not Stan’s.
The next three seconds fly. Guy fires the first shot and then suddenly theres bullets everywhere. Mikey grunts as a bullet hits him somewhere and a guy in front of me falls. My voice makes a choked sound as the other one runs from the alley into the daylight. “Lets go!” Guy shouts and him and Mikey take off into the alley.
I can’t run. I can’t even breathe. I collapse to the wet, filthy ground. I’m not shot and I never fired a shot but someone is dead and it’s not fucking stan.
I crawl forward and sit by the body of my oldest friend. I check his pulse and his breath. “Oh Fuck This!” I scream and pull Ryan’s head onto my lap. Blood flows from his chest at the same speed the heat leaves his body.

Notes

I'm sorry guys.
I'm so so so sorry