Thank You For The Venom

For the first time, I dream but I don’t dream about the boss. Just because my terror wasn’t about being forced into horrors doesn’t mean it wasn’t a nightmare. This time I fucking dreamt about forcing myself on another.
It was me that fucking raped Shanty in my dream. She was standing in that horrible room back at Venom. I shoved her to the floor as she wailed for me to “let her go”, like the boss did, I ignored every plee. I don’t think she was naked but it makes no sense that she was dressed. I pulled her back by the hair and then by the neck, making her choke as I drove into her. The sound of her struggle a sweet melody I adopted as my rhythm. After a while I pulled her up onto me and I found myself saying those horrible words, “Sing to me. Sing to me Frank.” She pleaded to me, telling me she can’t. I choked her as I held her on me making her gag and punch fruitlessly at my thighs.
When I dart awake it is about five in the morning. My cheeks are tear stained and my throat hurts. I just hope that if I was crying I wasn’t loud enough to wake Gerard. I really hope Gerard didn’t hear me cry as he doubtless he has before. I’m getting sick of seeming so weak in front of him.
I’m tired but force myself out of bed. It’s not about me not being able to sleep, more about being afraid. I’m afraid to close my eyes and relive old horrors or create new. Maybe if I never sleep, I never have to face those horrors and I can just die from exhaustion.
I shake myself and run my hands over my face and through my hair. It’s getting long, I might get it cut soon but Gerard says he likes it long.
I walk into the main room in a pair of sweat pants. An orange glow lights the room from outside. The soft glow guides my way to the fridge. The sound of it swinging open disguised the sound of Gerard’s bedroom door opening behind me. When I turn around the sight of Gerard, pale and ghostly is enough to make me jump and drop my can of soda. It fizzes as it spurts out of the holes and I gasp audibly above it. “Fuck Gerard,” I breathe, and swing the fridge closed behind me. “I didn’t hear you fucking move.”
The orange light exaggerates the soft plains of his skin and the dark dents. He’s only in his fucking boxers. “Are you okay?” he asks looking at me from under his bangs. His hair has grown longer and I like it better this way too, even with his inch long roots.
“Yea,” I bend over to pick up the fallen can, “couldn’t sleep.”
“I think that is a lie,” he muses.
“I think that you’re wrong,” I hum.
“I think that I know you better than you think.”
“I think you fucking don’t.”
“I think that you’re gorgeous.”
“I think… wait what,” I choke out stunned.
“What?” he says innocently.
I stare at him, words forming in my throat but dying on the way out of my mouth in various whines. “What did you just say?” I finally manage.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes you did!”
“I did not.”
“You did you said… “I think that you’re gorgeous.””
“That’s very nice of you to say,” he grins. Fuck. My breath begins to quicken. I don’t like this, this not being in control. I just… “I’m sorry Frank,” he sighs, “It had to be said. I think I’ll go back to sleep now.”
“No wait,” I find myself saying. Somehow he’s getting closer but he’s not moving. Somehow I’m reaching out for him without my mind even saying to. Somehow my lips find his.
Somehow we kiss so passionately we land on the couch and somehow I wake up the next day lying on top of the leader of enemy gang.

Mikey new something was up when he came over at lunchtime with a report saying they finally managed to make that guy, Timothy Holmes, disappear. “He was fucking hard to get alone. Also the guys felt really bad, he has a kid. We also don’t know what he fucking did wrong!” his eyes fall on me. “You okay Frankie?” I nod blushing. “Okay… We managed to make it look like suicide but we know so little about him, people may think it’s out of the blue or some shit.”
Gerard nods, “Hanging?”
Mikey gulps and adjusts his glasses. “Yea. I fucking hate this, Gerard. I fucking hate it.”
Gerard looks empathically over at his brother. “Frank, go to 208 Meriton Avenue and look for Dave Peters on the bells. Say the word swordfish into it if he answers. Go up get the money and be back in time for casserole. Family dinner tonight.”
I get a cab. I have no idea where Meriton Ave is. As we drive I’m horrified to see us enter Venom land. Fuck. I keep my head down as we wait at traffic lights. We pass the alley where I destroyed Stan’s car. We pass the place I used to get beaten up. The library and just before we come toward my first home the driver swings left into a slightly more well off area. The farther up the street we go the nicer the houses look until the driver pulls over and says “that’ll be thirteen thirty- four, exact change please.”
208 is high and narrow with enough doorbells that makes me think that more people live here than on the island of Ireland. I read through the scrawled names until I catch a glimpse of “Peters”. I hold in the button. “Hello,” the voice comes crackled through the receiver.
“Er, hi….” I say awkwardly, “sword fish…?” A loud beep answers me and I press in the door. It’s only a few flights of stairs to David Peters’ apartment.
The door swings open just as I’m about to knock and a half dressed version of the man I saw almost a month ago stands before me. “So you from MG?” he slurs.
“Uh... yea. It’s done,” I say awkwardly.
“Did ya hear that darlin’!” he calls, swinging to the side and I can see a fully undressed woman sitting on the couch completely drunk. “You’re fucking fiancé’s dead!” he roars with laughter but the woman’s face falls. “I best get you you’re money!” He slams the door in my face.
Through the thin walls and door I hear the woman wail as the man tells her to “shut it” and some more vulgar things.
When the door opens the man hands me out a stack of money while the woman, naked next to him wails, “HOW COULD YOU” over and over while punching at and slapping his leg.
I walk away quickly as the door shuts. I think MG has just done a really, really bad thing. Maybe we shouldn’t pick and choose our laws but morals is a whole new level. I run down the stairs and into the street.

With my eyes trained on the ground, I leave Venom land as quickly as possible, this territory was once my home and haven now threatens my life. At one point, while taking an alley way short cut, I run. Properly run through the broad daylight as if I’ve committed a crime. In the past forty eight hours I’ve done nothing illegal but I’ve never felt so guilty. I don’t even want to tell Gerard or Mikey, they felt bad enough.
The lights at the crossing go green and I’m about to step out when a fire truck speeds past me, sirens blaring. I wonder what’s on fire at three pm.
After several blocks my question is answered. The smell of smoke hits me long before the sight of it does. A large ark has now gathered, incircling the small burning building. Most of the fire men are trying to put out the fire while three or four try disperse the crowd. “Fuck,” I spit and begin running again.
“Don’t come any closer,” a fireman says, putting his hand on my chest.
“It’s fine,” Ray says, “He’s a friend of mine.” The gloved hand rises and I walk the final few steps toward Ray. His hair is wilder than ever and his face wears a frown, something that seems so alien on his face.
“What happened?” I gasp, looking up at his burning livelihood.
“Venom,” his voice trails. I look directly up and I can see it. On every window, even though most are shattered, you can see the word in yellow spray paint. Stan must be actually going insane, this is all too far. Ray isn’t part of MG, Ray is just a big haired baker.
“Aw dude I’m so sorry,” I say, looking up at Ray.
He lets out a shaky sigh, “It’s okay,” he lies, “Tell Gerard it was lovely to do business with him but I’m afraid I can’t anymore,” his voice breaks half way through the sentence and the last five words are barely intelligible.
I try for a moment to comfort Ray. After a while he plainly says he’d like to be alone. I can’t take offence in this, he’s a broken man. I jog off again, leaving the last few flames to lick at Ray’s life. When I’m almost at the corner I hear a massive explosion and see shards of glass fly out at the firemen and Ray. I would run back the see if he was hurt but he’s still standing so I assume so. When I’m a block away, I hear a large rumbling. That, I assume, is the fucking building falling down.

Notes

So here's a chapter that wasn't even supposed to exist.
Hi guys! So I wasn't even sure I would be finished today, i've had so much to do (got home late, homework, had to bake, practice guitar, shower, eat dinner...) but I did. I especially didn't see myself writing this chapter but i think it will be key in the run up to the following events so keep an eye out!
Also i think i probably should've done my math and art homework instead of write this but whatever now.
Thanks for reading and if i can i shall update tomorrow! :))