A Light In the Abyss
Summary
Distant memories of the alluring scent of amber and warmth of chamomile tea lingered, now the overwhelming scent of blood, dirt, and bleach infiltrated my lungs, nothing but my memories remained, with strain I fought to keep them alive. Time had become but a concept of sunrise and set, no longer a measurement of life. Before, the future held prosperity and hope, now the future seemed to fade into the sun, no longer bringing warmth and life, the sun was a burning catalyst, it consume you at one point or another, like an old love poem consumed by the unforgiving flames of a rebellious match, yet the ashes remained. Now, as I lay on the rigid mattress, I listened to the creatures lurking above my window sill, the maddening unclaimed sounds belonging to the dark, my thoughts kept me awake, tormented by the possibilities. Reflecting upon life, sleep became a concept, I couldn't remember how long I've laid here unmoved without purpose of a shudder, my head pulsating loudly, “thump, thump, thump,” sickening, my stomach lurching, leaving me at unrest, I longed for sleep, the numbing sleep I had known for so long, but it seemed I wouldn't be offered the commodity this restless night. Instead, I’d lay sleepless, tortured by the distant droning snores of a sedated sleeper, how I longed to join him in the land of mist and autumn leaves, instead I was prisoner of my personal purgatory. Light shone through a slit in the curtain hitting me directly in the eyes, squinting, I turned to the door, waiting. Foot steps approached, I closed my eyes, slowed my breathing, faking a state of sleep, the door creaked. At the door stood a pair of orderlies stood at the door, “rise and shine, cupcake,” the tallest of the two stated teasingly, like a pair of demented hyenas. Making unpleasant facial gestures, tossing and turning, finally sitting up and stretching, turning to nod in acknowledgement towards the orderlies, I had put on a show of waking up everyday, it came naturally to me at this point. Turning, I saw the wheelchair awaiting me, I’m not paralytic, but if they thought I was, that meant more freedom for me. Cautiously, I was wheeled into the dining room, turning I examined my surroundings, the patients sitting silently at the table. Now, any other day they’d a babbling mess, but upon arrival they are sedated heavily. After being placed at my table, I gazed disgustedly at the plate that lay before me, crumby oatmeal and soggy toast, this wasn't the breakfast of champions, and I, indeed, am a champion. Today was an important day, I’d have to fuel up properly, stealthily, I snuck into the break room rummaging the pantry, that’s where I spotted it, a Twinkie, this could only be a sign that the world was on my side today. Why was today so important you ask? October 5th, 1969 was the day I planned to break out of Sunny-Side Asylum, ironic, I know. After dinner I would take advantage of the nightfall and make my escape. For the last time, I absorbed the energy and aura of this place, it was nauseating. Prudently, I went about my business, played cards with my buddies, gambled looking for cigars, and watched the Yankees give it to the Red Sox, until bed time was called, this was it, I was coming home. Now, I had quite the reputation of being a runner, I was always under a watchful eye, but after months of planning I knew the caged bird was spreading his wings tonight. You see, the orderlies were a bunch of slobs, toss em’ a couple bills and they’d keep their mouths shut, sadly, I was beyond broke. Of course, I had a solution my little dilemma, I had gathered pills for months, I would exchange them to those decrepit pigs in exchange they would turn a blind eye. There they were, sitting like vultures, their beady eyes narrowing as they saw me, instantly taking a defensive stance. “Hello there, gentlemen.” I stated slyly. “Gerard, if any of the nurses catch you out of bed we’ll all be in deep trouble, I need this job, kid.” The taller orderly replied apprehensively. “Gentlemen, I don’t want any trouble, I was looking to make an exchange.” I retorted nonchalantly. At this the dumpy orderlies eyes turned to greedy, black slits, I had him where I wanted. Tactfully, I pulled a handful of pills from my pocket, “If you lose your job, I’m sure this will cover any expenses till you get back on your feet.” I stated knowingly. Turning to face his lanky friend, they smiled stingily. Now I knew I couldn't count on them to keep watch, I had planned for this beforehand, the nurses would be attending to my friend Frank as he simulated neuralgic pain, I’d sneak out through the window of the break room, I awaited the signal. “Ah!” Frank hollered from his room, he was always had a flair for the dramatics. Five nurses rushed to his room, holding him down and following procedure. While I ran down the hall I stumbled into a nurse, I froze. Upon examination I recognized her as a trainee, her first week I reckon, she was just as terrified as I was, but I had everything to lose, so I’d make her believe she did too. “Listen here girl, you don’t get admitted into Sunny-Side because you’re a real swell person, I've got blood on my hands, and if you stay out of my way, you don’t have to add to it,” I stated gazing at her rabidly. She merely nodded, frozen in her stance. Incessantly, I ran, the moon was my guide, like a lone wolf I ran towards the moon, freedom coursed through me, my ancestors rejoicing in the sky, in agreement at the rekindling of my ability as I ran gliding smoothly through the midnight sky, the caged bird spreading his wings. Now, as I ran, the moon my only companion, I thought back to the friends I had made, the ties now broken, they were humans, but Sunny-Side had turned them into a bunch of complacent living corpses. My legs ached, I don’t know how long I had been running, through the pain, I was thankful for a sense, even pain, for it meant I was still alive, no longer a complacent living corpse, I was alive.
