I Still Think You're Beautiful

"Your birthday is in a week." I smirk as Frank and I walk hand in hand to our 2nd period class. It's a Monday morning and I'm tired as fuck because I stayed up all night with Mikey. The kid was hysterical, he wouldn't stop crying and he made himself throw up like ten times.

"Ugh please don't mention it," Frank scoffs, "I don't wanna even celebrate it." He sighs and rubs his eyes with his free hand. I stare at him and force a confused smile, "Why do you not want to celebrate it? You're turning sixteen." I say.

"Yeah I know." Frank replies. "I just...don't like birthdays. I like Halloween though, Halloween is fun."

"Good, because I throw a huge fucking Halloween party every year." I laugh, "I'm kinda known for it." Frank nods and keeps staring ahead as we walk. When we reach our classroom, he drops my hand and we take our seats.

The period goes by slowly, we just get long boring lectures and shit that nobody pays attention to. Eventually two more long periods pass and it's time for lunch, which is a relief.
Frank and I walk through the sea of teenagers to the cafeteria, my arm around him as his head rests on my shoulder.

As we reach the doors, I'm about to pull them open when someone to my left says, "Hey Gerard." I turn my head and find myself face to face with Bert. He smiles at me softly and waves his fingers slightly. "What?" I spit and scowl at him. Bert shrugs and his face drops, he turns away and trudges in the opposite direction of me and Frank.

"What was that?" Frank says and crosses his arms. I shake my head, "He was-"

Frank cuts me off, "Being nice?"

"Let's just go." I breathe and enter the cafeteria. I start to head to the food line, not caring if Frank is behind me or not. I don't bother to look around from him and try to pay attention on getting my food. I grab a burrito and a Coke and pay for it, throwing a smile at the lunch lady along with my money. She smiles back and I say, "Keep the change." Before walking toward my table.

I look around for Frank, I can't find him at the table. I search around again before I see him, and my heart stops. Frank is standing in the back of the cafeteria staring up at somebody as he nods his head, his facial expressions are...hurt and confused looking. The person he's looking up at is tall and thin, he's wearing a purple shirt and black skinnies. I stare at his bleach blonde hair and freeze. Jared. Jared fucking Martin.

I watch in horror, my hands going stiff and I drop my tray of food. "Hey Gerard, you okay man?" Some brown haired jock named Brendon asks,he pats my back and gives me a concerned look.

"C-can you g-get that f-for me?" I ask and I rush away before he can answer. I stop by the my table and drop my backpack on Pete, ignoring his very loud, 'Ow Gerard! You bastard!'
I look up and my eyes wander around the cafeteria, trying to find Frank's tiny silhouette dressed in my old black hoodie that I gave to him. But I can't find him. All I can see is Jared standing in the same place, a black ball of clothing in his hand. I make eye contact with him, he shakes his head and holds up the thing in his hand. It's the hoodie.

I stare at him for a second, unsure of what to do. "You okay there GeeGee?" A voice behind me asks mockingly. I turn around, my fist clenching as Mason stands about a foot away from me, Dahvie standing behind him staring down at his phone.

"W-what did y-you do?" I barely stutter out. My heart starts pounding and my body heats up. Mason laughs and looks away, "What do you think?" He spits. "You had it coming, Way. I have that little faggot wrapped around my finger anyway."

"No. You. Don't." I grit my teeth, telling myself not punch him because I so badly want to. "If you don't move, I'm gonna end up killing you." Dahvie smiles and looks up, "Pffft, I'd like to see you try, noodle arms."

"FUCK YOU!" I scream and flick them off before running toward Jared. I stick my arm out and my hand makes contact with his throat when I reach him. I push him against the wall, the jacket falling from his hands. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?" I scream and Jared's hands wrap around my wrists. "Gerard...please...let me...explain." He gasps.

"Woah Gerard calm down!" Some popular guy named Vic yells, "C'mon, just let him go! Use your words."

My eyes widen and I realize what I'm doing, I let go of Jared's throat and back away. And that's when the first tears falls, plopping down onto the tiled floor. "I-I'm sorry." I choke out. Jared thanks Vic then gestures him away before his hand touches my back gently. He leans down and picks up the hoodie and hands it to me. I take it and bury my face in it, hiding my tears and taking in Frank's smell that has rubbed into it.

"He's...he's not mad." Jared says softly, "He...just left."

"What did you tell him?" I sob.

Jared breaks eye contact with me and stares down at his black Vans, "I...uh....I told him that...Gerard I don't wanna repeat it. Call him. I'm so done with this bullshit." And with that he turns away and disappears into the crowd of teenagers.

I pull my phone out of my pocket with shaky hands and carefully call Frank. It goes to voicemail and I try again, It rings twice before he answers, "What?" He says and sniffs, he's clearly crying.

"Where are you?" I ask and hold back my sobs as I walk out of the god damned cafeteria. Frank coughs and says, "Why?"

"Baby, just tell me where the fuck you are...please." I beg.

"Bathroom." He spits and hangs up.

When I get inside the bathroom, all I can hear is someone sobbing. "Frankie?" I call out quietly.

"What?" A weak voice answers. I rush to last stall and slide my back down the door. "What happened? Please...I'm so confused."

"I love you Gerard," He sobs, "But I wish you felt the same way back."

"What the fuck-?" I say, "Babe open the fucking door right now." I stand up and the stall door swings open slowly, revealing Frank. His hair is a mess and there's eyeliner running down his face, his eyes are red and his cheeks are tear stained. "What do you mean?" I ask and pull him into my arms, his head buried in my chest. "Y-you were paid...to date me." Frank sobs as his body shakes in my arms.

"Who the fuck told you that?" I ask and rest my chin on his head.

"The same person who said that I'm a fag and Gerard Way would never give me a second look if he wasn't paid to fuck me senseless.'" Frank says and steps away from me, pulling his arms into his chest.

I go silent, unsure of what to say. "That...that's not fucking true."

"I know right...nothing is ever true with you." Frank laughs, but it's a Im-laughing-to-keep-myself-from-crying-and-jumping-out-the-window kind of laugh, "Everything is always bullshit that people make up when it comes to you-"

"Frank-" I interrupt.

"No!" He yells, "Listen to me! I've been dating you for what? 6 weeks? And I've let you touch me, I've told you so much personal shit, I've been there for you! And what do I get? A bunch of fucking drama that I don't need! I get terrorized everyday and lied to just because I'm dating you! And you know what? I don't think I can do it anymore! I physically and mentally cannot take it anymore! If this is all a fucking joke to you Gerard, tell me, and I'll happily leave you alone. I don't even care anymore...I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I let you fuck me..."

"Frank...I..." I breathe, tears running down my face. "Frank..."

"Exactly." He spits. He pushes passed me and begins to walk away, but I grab his arm. "Let go of me."

"Frank...I love-"

"Save it." He snaps back and pulls out of my grip. He rushes away from me, and I don't stop him. I just stand there, trying to not have a heart attack.

Notes

based on a real life experience ^
.-.



~Androo