Forget About The Dirty Looks.

Frank's POV
What the fuck did I just do? Shit. As soon as Gerard walked out the room, I broke down. Did I seriously just do that? I can hear shouting outside, it sounds like Gerard. He sounds majorly upset. Shit. I just broke up with him. I just broke up with Gerard.
My nose is running, the tears aren't stopping anytime soon. The boys walk in, Ray has a bloody nose. I peek at them through my hair, but try my best to keep my face covered, not letting them see my tears.
"What the hell just happened, Frank? Gerard just punched Ray." I don't look up, not yet. I try to steady my voice as best as possible.
"I broke up with him." I hear three gasps, and the pressure of three individuals sitting on the bed.
"You did what? Why? You guys are, like, perfect for each other!" Surprisingly, it was Bob that spoke. I shrug. There are too many reasons as to why I should run after him, kiss him, apologize then buy him some roses before he does something stupid. I clear my throat. The tears are getting easier to contain so I wipe my eyes and look up at them.
"He said some shit, I said some shit. It escalated, I fucking snapped and told him to get out of my life until," I scowl, remembering our argument. "He sorts his pathetic little act together." Anger slowly starts to rise in me as I remember the things he aid to me.
"What sort of stuff? Did they really merit you breaking up with him?" I scowl at Mikey, narrowing my eyes.
"He mentioned my fucking dad and shit, Mikey. That's not fucking acceptable." My voice is all but a growl, causing Mikey to raise his palms, trying to calm me.
"Okay, okay. No need to take your fucking anger out on us!" I scowl for a second longer before my facial expression slumps and I sigh.
"You're right. I'm sorry, guys." They all nod their heads at me. I smile at them, but the fight that happened less than ten minutes ago is still playing over in my head. Gerard's facial expression when I told him we were over literally shattered my heart into pieces. What if he does something really stupid? What if he actually jumps from a window this time? It would be all my fault. A lot of 'What if's' play over in my head, causing me to start to panic.
"Do you think that one of you could go find him? I'm really worried about him. What if he does something stupid?" I shake my head, trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. "Mikey, go find him, quick." A bad feeling forms in my gut, making me feel sick. Mikey sits there, and I push him slightly. "Mikey!" He gives me a strange look, but he jumps up and heads in the direction Gerard went in.
I breathe in deeply, trying to calm my nerves slightly. The other two are looking at me warily. They glance at my hands and then they look at me, raising their eyebrows. I look down, too. My hands are shaking, really fast and badly. I clench them into fists and then grip the sheets.
"Dude, what's up?" I take another deep breath and then release it slowly.
"I... I just have a really bad feeling. Like I made a huge mistake and somebody's going to get hurt. Probably Gerard," A wave of nausea rises up from my stomach. "I.. feel really sick." I reach for the bucket thing the nurse put by my bed. I gag a few times, then the entire contents of my stomach comes up. Bob turns as white as a sheet, and looks away quickly. Ray helps me, pushing stray hairs out of the way. I feel like a girl, having to have somebody move me really long fucking hair out of the way.
I spew up my guts, and when I'm finished, I'm exhausted. I lie back onto my pillows, panting slightly. Mikey then runs back in, causing me to sit straight back up again. My vision blurs slightly, letting me know that I sat up way too quickly. Once my vision clears, I look at Mikey. Just Mikey, there's no Gerard. A very worried looking Mikey and no Gerard. He stands in the doorway, bouncing on his toes and biting at his thumb.
"Well...?" He looks at em and shakes his head. My shoulders slump over and I sigh.
"Where could he be, Frank? I looked everywhere, even on the roof."
"How did you manage to get up there?" Ray's voice is incredulous, and Mikey just shrugs. He goes back to biting at his thumb and bouncing on his feet. I don't know where he could be; I don't have a fucking clue.
"I don't know. I don't fucking know where he could be, Mikey!" The stress is getting the better of me, making me angry. Mikey stops biting his thumb and his eyes harden.
"Don't shout at me, Frank. I know you're worried, but don't take it out on me." I roll my eyes, crossing my arms.
"Whatever.." He huffs at me and turns around, walking out of the door. Bob and Ray look at me, so I glare back at them.
"What are you looking at?" I snap, making their eyebrows furrow and their eyes to narrow.
"Frank, if you're going to act like a pissy teenager, we'll leave and go with Mikey." I shrug at them. Ray sighs at me and stands up, gesturing for Bob to follow him. They walk out, leaving me alone.
This is all my fault. I broke up with Gerard, causing him to run off, and I pissed my best friends off, making them leave me. I get more and more angry at myself as I think. I groan and bang my head on the wall. I then curse at the pain, rubbing my head with my hand. Fuck, I always ruin everything. The thing I had with Gerard was the best thing I had going for me, I fucked it up.
Gerard could be half-dead in a bathroom floor, pills scattered around him, he could be splattered on the concrete sidewalk, he could have got a gun and blew his fucking brains out for all I know. Fragments of his skull could be falling around him at this very second. Mikey could go home and find him shot up with Heroin, over-dosed, dead.
If I had my phone, I would call him. I don't, though, my father made sure of that. A nurse walks in, smiling falsely at me. Maybe she has a mobile, I could ring Gerard off there, I know his number.
"Hi, Frank. How are you doing? Do you need anymore medication?" I shake me head and she smiles again at me.
"Uh, do you have a, uh, mobile phone I could borrow? Mine got smashed by the Devil Incarnate, you see, and I need to call somebody." She looks at me for a second, making my cheeks go hot. She then smiles again and reaches into her pocket. She taps the screen a few times and hands it to me. I smile gratefully at her and type the number in. I put the phone to my ear and she step outside of the room, presumably giving me some privacy. The phone rings, and rings. I'm almost ready to put it down, when somebody picks it up.
"Hello?" It's not Gerard, I think I can hear him in the background, though.
It's Craig.
"Craig? What the fuck are you doing on Gerard's phone?" I hear a chuckle and some muffled sounds in the background. They sound like moaning or something.
"Gee gave it to me to look after. He's other-wise preoccupied at the minute. Having some fun, meeting new people. He has lots of guys wanting to fuck him, you know. I heard he's single now, you broke up with him?" People want to fuck him. Moaning. Craig. Drugs.
"What's he doing Craig?" My voice shakes and my heart feels like it's being ripped in half, again.
"Why don't we ask him ourselves?" I hear muffled footstep and a knock on a door.
"Hey, Gerard?" I hear a groan. A few minutes later, I hear the sound of a door being unlocked.
Muffled voices, sounds like Gerard and Craig are having a conversation. Also, Gerard sounds like he's slurring his words.
"Hey, Frank?" Craig's voice startles me and I hum in response.
"Frankie." It's Gerard. He's slightly out of breath.
"Gerard? What are you doing?" He laughs, but the sound is bitter and harsh.
"I'm..I'm doing.. drugs and guys, Fr-Frankie. I'm also.. I'm also getting over you." His words are punctuated with hiccups and slurred words.
"You're... What?" He's fucking other people? Oh, Christ. My heart is being ran over by a sixteen wheeled truck, now. Gerard laughs, and I hear shouting.
"Yeah.. Two, two seconds. I've.. just got to get rid of... Frank.." He's still hicupping, obviously not talking to me, but to some other person, and my heart's still breaking.
"Frankie, I've got to go. Michael? Marvin? I don't know. Anyway, he won't wait much longer. Have fun, by yourself!" He laughs again and walks away from the phone, because his laughter get quieter. I hear a door slam and muffled voices.
"Isn't he just a ball of fun, Frank? I'm glad you let him go, these guys really needed a good fuck.." I don't answer, I just listen. Shit. He's having sex with other people. Shit. Fucking fuck.
"It was lovely speaking to you, Frank. Goodbye." He hangs up and I sit there, numb, with the phone still pressed to my ear, when the nurse walks in again. She doesn't notice my state until she checks my vitals. Concern flashes through her eyes, and she reaches down and takes the phone, putting it to her ear. She hears nothing concerning, so she brings her hand down.
"Frank?" I don't answer, I just stare straight ahead. I hear a sigh.
"Frank? What's wrong?" I snap out of my daze and look at her. I shrug and look back down. She hands me a tissue and I look at it, confused.
"You're crying?" I rub a finger under my eye and feel wetness. I grab the tissue and fiercely scrub at my face, but the tears keep on coming. I give up when my face starts to hurt.
"What's wrong?" She has genuine concern in her voice and it reminds me of my mother, making me cry harder. I shake my head. I need to forget about this all. I need to go to sleep and never fucking wake up.
"I change my mind, I do need more pain medication. Give me enough to fucking kill me, please." My words are broken up with sobs and my voice is hoarse, making it hard to understand.
"Where hurts?" She apparently didn't hear my little add on at the end.
"Uh, everywhere?" I'm lying about the pain, but I just need enough of the drug running through my veins to make me fall asleep.
"Okay. I need you to lie down, slowly." I do as she says, faking pain every so often. She smiles sympathetically at me. She does something to the tube attached to me, and I instantly feel my eyelids become more heavy. She pulls the blanket over me and then leaves the room.
I smile at the blissful feeling of not feeling anything at all. My eyelids droop and I don't stop them. I soon enter a deep sleep, hopefully one I don't wake up from.

Notes

....Sorry....