Forget About The Dirty Looks.

Gerard's POV
They eventually leave. They tried several times to get me to talk to them, but I don't. Apparently I've lost any chance of stepping outside of hospital ground, even if I'm with my mom or a doctor.
The view outside is terrible. There's a wall and it has copious amounts of bird shit on it. I blocks everything else from my view, not that there's anything worth looking at around here. I'm literally dying of boredom, I don't even have a book to read. Well, there's the bible in the drawers, but I'm not exactly about to start reading it, am I?
I consider going to see Frankie, but if he's still asleep, I don't want to go see him. I could ask a nurse to go check... But, that would mean having to talk, and I really can't be bothered.
I flop down onto the bed, sighing in frustration. I look around for inspiration on how to cure my boredom. I spot the bag my mom packed for me when I woke up, maybe it has something interesting in it.
I slowly get up and grab the bag. There are clothes in it, pajamas, my phone charger, and some colored pencils. I may have pencils, but there's no fucking paper. My mom is a genius, isn't she?
I check the extra pocket on the front of it and find some cigarettes. This is my school bag, and I bought some before all of this happened, and I must have put them in there. I smile to myself and open the window as far as it will go. Inside the packet, is my spare lighter. I lean out of the window, sitting on the sill. I take a breath of air and smile, I love the taste and smell of fresh air. I get a cigarette out of the packet and light it, putting it to my lips. I inhale a glorious, deep breath of nicotine and Carbon Dioxide. I finish my cigarette, and after I feel a lot more calm , and I sit in the open window for a while.
A nurse comes in and she gasps. She stops short, staring at me with wide eyes.
"Mr Way, please step away from the window." She speaks in a quiet but sure voice. I shrug at her and stay where I am.
"Don't jump. Step away from the window." Don't jump? I burst out laughing, causing me to almost fall out. I grab onto the side of the wall and steady myself. The nurse has walked a few more paces towards me, but once she notices me looking, she stops. She thinks I'm about to try and commit suicide again. I decide to play with this a bit, and I swing my leg over, so I'm straddling the window sill.
"Mr Way, please. This isn't safe." She has a hint of Russian in her accent. I shrug again, and let go of my grip on the wall. I lean a bit farther out of the window, causing me to almost hang off the edge.
"If you don't get down in five seconds, I will call the doctors. You need to come off the window, now." Her voice is now sterner, and I know I'm being successful at pissing her off. I smirk at her, and swing my other leg round, so now my back is facing her. A small group of people have gathered outside and they're looking up at me. I wave down to them, then I flip them off.
"Mr Way. Don't move another inch." Her voice is hard now, and I chuckle to myself. I inch farther off the sill, but not enough for it to make me fall off. I hear the door open again and hushed voices. Suddenly, two arms wrap around my middle, and they pull me gently off the window sill. I'm placed on the floor by the window, and somebody is shutting it. They lock it as well, and they hand my doctor the key. I'm still stood there, ten minutes later, not co-operating with them.
My mom then runs in, dressed in her work clothes. She stares at us all, her eyes leaving me until last. When her eyes do reach mine, they're hard but show no emotion. She strides over to me and puts her hands on my shoulders, gripping hard. Her eyes search my face, and I smirk at her. She then slaps me, causing my head to whip to the side.
"How dare you, Gerard!" She's shouting at me, but the smirk still hasn't been wiped off my face. I shrug at her, not talking.
"Why do you keep doing this? What's wrong with you?" Her voice has lowered from a shout now, but it's still as venomous. I don't even shrug at her this time. There's still pain in my cheek, and I can guarantee it's red. It probably has a mom-shaped hand print on it, too.
"Mrs Way... Calm down, please." My doctor's weak little voice breaks out stare off.
"Oh, fuck off. If you were doing your fucking job properly, this wouldn't have happened!" She's shouting again now, and the expression on the man's face makes me laugh.
"It's not Mrs Way, either. I'm not married anymore, perhaps if you read over you patients files, you would now that!" I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing, but a little chuckle escapes anyway. Nobody looks at me, though, they're all too focused on the scene in front of us.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Please calm down, if you don't we will have to get you escorted off the premises." She laughs at this, shaking her head at the doctor. I lean myself against the wall, my movements causing everybody's heads to turn to me. I feel slightly uncomfortable with all the staring, and I can feel my cheeks flare up.
"Gerard, what were your intentions just then?" My doctor addresses me now, and I just shrug.
"Were you going to jump?" I shake my head at him. He nods, the look in his eyes telling me he doesn't believe me.
"Why won't you talk to us?" I shrug again, looking at the floor.
"Would you like everybody to leave, leaving just me, you and your mother?" I nod my head, and everybody files out of the room. We all look at each other, and I sit down in a chair. The doctor and mom sit on the bed, and he pulls out a notepad. He hands me a few pieces of paper and a pen.
"You can write things down on there, considering you aren't talking," He gestures to the paper. "Now, why did you run away from the hospital today?" I don't know. I just wanted out.
I write 'Because I hate it here." I show them and he writes my response down on the notepad.
"Okay. Why were you hanging out of the window?" I think for a second and I bite my lip, trying to think of a valid answer.
'I needed a cigarette. I wasn't going to jump, I was just playing with her." They read it, and my mom's anger rises up again. This time, her cheeks flush.
"You were just 'playing'? This isn't a game, Gerard. This is your fucking life! What if you had slipped? Would you be just 'playing' then?" I shrug, not offering any answers.
"Okay, I'll answer for you. No, you wouldn't be fucking 'playing'. You'd be dead! I'd be having to arrange a funeral. I would have lost a son, Mikey his big brother. And then there's Frank. How do you think he would feel? How do you think he'll feel when somebody tells him about this? Gerard, you need to start thinking." I forgot about Mikey and Frankie. I even forgot about my mom, if I'm honest. I just needed a bit of... excitement. I shrug again, too busy thinking to write down a response.
My mom's phone rings and she answers it with an annoyed sigh.
"Hello?"
"Yes, it is. What do you want?" The response must annoy her even more, because her eyebrow furrow.
"No, I can't. I told you, I'm at the hospital!" She stands up and walks over to the window.
"No. I'm not coming back in! This is an emergency!" She shakes her head and paces the floor.
"I can't."
"What? This isn't fucking fair! You can't sack me, not for this." Her shoulders slump.
"Okay, okay. Give me fifteen minutes. Yeah, whatever." She turns to us. Her facial expression reads 'defeat'.
"I'm sorry, Dr Johnson. I have to go, work won't let me stay off any longer, apparently my son's mental well-being shouldn't be my top priority." She shakes her head, again.
"It's my day off tomorrow, I'll be in then," She looks at me, narrowing her eyes. "We'll continue this conversation then, Gerard." I write on my paper that I can't wait and she huffs at me and walks out, not even saying goodbye.

Dr Johnson leaves shortly after, probably because I'm refusing to even write answers down. I'm left alone again, but there's going to be somebody stood outside my door at all times, so Dr Johnson tells me. I try to think of ways to annoy the person stood outside my door, but I come up with nothing.
The paper the doctor left is blank, so I can entertain myself with drawing. I decide, that using my drawings, I can freak out the person, instead of annoying them. I start to draw graphic pictures of rituals, murder, satanic things. I soon run out of paper, so I slip my drawings under the door. The glass on the door is frosted, so I vaguely see the person bend down. They stand back up, my drawings in their hand probably. I hear paper being shuffled and a low whistle. I chuckle to myself, wanting to know what their face looks like. I hear a shaky laugh and a little 'shit' come from the other side of the door. Then, I hear him shouting somebody's name. I hear footsteps approach and the paper being shuffled again.
"Man, this kid is messed up. Should we go show somebody?"
"Nah. They're only drawings. It's not like he drew them in his blood, is it?"
"Dude, these are really graphic. Look at that one..." They laugh and I lie back down on the bed. My plan didn't work, he's not creeped out by them, he's laughing at them.
"They are pretty freaky, though. Let's shove them back under the door." One of them bends down, and the paper comes back through. I walk over and pick them up. I write 'Fuck You' on one of them, sliding it back under. They pick it up, reading the little message.
"Okay...." He sounds unsure of himself now, so I smile.
"Just put them in your pocket and ignore him. He's just a strange, freaky kid." It goes silent after that, and one of them walks off. I go back and sit on the bed, starting to feel bored again.

A nurse walks in, about an hour later. I'm half-asleep, so the door suddenly opening makes me almost fall off the bed, I jumped that much.
"Mr Iero's awake. He's asking for you, would you like to go see him?" It takes a minute for the words to process, but as soon as they do, I jump up and nod my head. She smiles at me, and leads me to his room. The door is shut, but I can hear voices in there. It's Mikey, Ray and Bob.
I haven't seen Bob in weeks, and the last time I did meet him, I wasn't exactly the best company.
I knock on the door, and the nurse walks off. Somebody calls for me to come in, so I do. The three boys are crowded around Frank's bed. I stand in the doorway, awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Frank's face breaks into a smile and he waves me over. I smile back, and sit on the end of the bed.
"Hey." Bob nods at me, and Mikey, Ray and Frankie all say the greeting back to me. Frank grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him. When I'm close enough, he throws his arms around me, making my torso fall onto him and my legs to go flying into the air. Once I recover, I hug him back, kissing the top of his head.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to freak out like that." His voice is muffled, his face is pressed to my neck. I shake my head at him.
"It's okay. I'm just glad your okay, Frankie." I run a hand down his back and pull away. We stare at each other, silently communicating with our eyes. Somebody coughs, breaking our connection.
"Gee, what happened earlier? I've heard lots of shit." Mikey breaks the awkward silence, asking me a question that I don't particularly want to answer. I shrug at him.
"What do you mean?" Frank's voice is quiet. I look at him, giving him what I hope to be a reassuring smile. He narrows his eyes at me.
"Guys, could you give us a minute, please? I need to talk to Gerard." They all sigh, but they get up and walk out.
"Gerard, what did Mikey mean?" I sigh and shake my head at him.
"It was nothing, Frankie." I don't look at him and I start to play with the hem of my t-shirt.
"Bullshit. I know when you lie, Gee." I look at him now and his eyes are concerned.
"Okay, fine," I sigh again. "I left the hospital and ran away, going home. I also freaked out the everybody by dangling myself out of a window." I mumble the last part, hoping he can't hear.
"You did what?" His voice is a little bit lower than a shriek, but it still hurts my ears.
"What were you thinking, Gerard? Were you going to... try again?" His voice breaks and I wrap him into a hug. I shake my head.
"No, no. I wasn't I just wanted to... Mess around with the nurse. I was dying of boredom, Frankie." He pushes me away, and crosses his arms over his chest.
"Are you stupid?" His face is deadly serious. I shake my head.
"No, I'm not fucking stupid, Frank. Don't give me a fucking lecture."
"Are you sure? I mean, you've got to have a pretty low IQ to dangle yourself out of a window, just for fucking fun!" Oh, he's mad. Everybody else is, so why not Frank?
"I've already had a fucking lecture, Frank, from my mother!" He shakes his head at me, his face flushing a light red.
"Is this a game to you or something? Did you think of anybody except from yourself when the fucking idea of hanging out of a window popped into your head? I flush red, shaking my head as a no. He snorts at me.
"Wow, you selfish little twat." Oh, he's really mad at me, now.
"Fuck off, Frank. I know it was stupid, okay! Just leave me the fuck alone!" His face turns from a light red to a dark, crimson flush.
"This is my fucking room. If you want me to 'leave you the fuck alone', then I will." He sits up.
I'm confused, is he going to try and stand up now? He raises his eyebrows at me.
"What are you going to do, Frank? Try and get up or something? Do you want me to get your wheelchair? Or a doctor?" My voice has a malicious mocking tone to it, and immediately Frank's expression changes from anger to hurt. He looks so sad, I want to apologize. But, I don't, I just sit there with a stupid smirk on my face. "Or are you going to have another panic attack?"I need to shut up now, but I can't.
He stares at me, and as the seconds go past, his expression changes back to anger. He smirks at me, shaking his head.
"I think I can do it by myself, the morphine is strong. Do you perhaps want to try some? I know you like the taste of drugs." His words hit me like a slap in the face. I start to shake, but I 'm not sure if I'm angry or upset. Anger, it seems, is always my best option, so I decide to force myself to be angry.
"I best not, it might bring you back to Earth. We don't want that, you might become a shaking, screaming fuck-up, again. You might start having panic attacks every second, again, as well." He recoils from me, looking down. I chuckle at his reaction, gone past caring about anybody's feelings.
"Oops, did I hit a sore spot?" I smirk at him,not caring if he isn't even looking at me. "Like your dad did, remember?" He does look back up at me and he has tears in his eyes.
"Gerard, get out." His voice is so quiet, I'm sure I mistook his words.
"What?"
"Get out. Don't fucking come back until you have your pathetic little act together." What? I can literally feel the color draining out of my face.
"Wait, what? Are you... Breaking up with me?" I feel tears prick at my eyes. Regret flashes through his eyes, tears forming in them. He nods, confirming his words. I sit, staring at him, open mouthed. A tear falls from my eyes and lands on my hand.
"I said, get out, Gerard. I'll call a nurse if you don't!" He shouts at me, snapping me back to the present.
"But... But, I love you, Frankie. Please.. don't. I'm.. I'm sorry.." He looks down and picks at a frayed edge on a bandage.
"I love you, too, Gerard. I just..." He sighs, his shoulders slumping. "Just.. get out. Now." He sounds defeated, not able to put up a fight if I refuse to leave. I stand up and wipe my eyes.
"Well. Thanks for everything, Frank. I... Goodbye." I walk out, containing my sobs until he's out of earshot. I can hear Frank crying, though. My heart feels like it's being shredded, burnt and then eaten.
The guys all look at me as I walk out and then they surround me.
"What's going on?" Mikey is the first to ask, but I can't speak. Them crowding round me, added together with the sobs rising in me and the lump in my throat, are making me feel claustrophobic.
"Get the fuck away from me! Get away, get away!" I push them out of the way, accidentally punching Ray in his nose. I look at them, they stare back at me. Blood drips slowly from Ray's nose. I turns and run away from them, not looking back as I try to find the elevators.

Notes

Please don't hate me! I'm sorry!
I hope you like it... Thanks for reading this, everybody!xo