Forget About The Dirty Looks.

Frank's POV
We've been sat in silence for ten minutes, all Gerard's done is bite is lip and stare wide-eyed at the tiled floor. I think it's awkward, but Gerard looks too far into his trance to be aware of anything.
"Gerard..?" My voice is quiet, and he doesn't even blink. He hasn't blinked in well over seven minutes, and it's pretty creepy. I lean forward a bit and say his name again, but a bit louder. Still no response. I lean in a kiss him lightly. He gasps out of surprise and goes stiff. I pull away and frown at him.
"Sorry. You weren't responding to anything else..." I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly and look down.
"It's okay.. I'm sorry, Frankie. This is meant to be happy and everything, but I'm being.. weird." I feel his fingers under my chin, bringing it up so I look at him. I give him a small smile, and he returns it. I' very aware of the close proximity between us, and for some reason I'm nervous. It's only Gerard, but my heart's beating really fast and I'm struggling to keep a blush off my cheeks and my breathing in control. Maybe it's because we haven't seen or spoke to each other in nearly three weeks, or maybe I always feel like this around him but I've never noticed it before.
"I love you." I speak the three words to him without meaning to, and his face breaks into a grin.
"I love you, too, Frankie." I grin back at him and giggle.It's a stupid love-drunk giggle, and I'm sure I've never sounded as feminine in my life. I blush and Gerard laughs at me.
"Are you sure that you're a boy? That little giggle sounded extremely girly, y'know.." My Gerard is back, the worried, small person he was just a second ago is gone. Well, maybe it's just below the surface, but he's happy at the minute.
"Oh, shut up... At least I don't wear girl jeans!" His mouth drops open and his neck goes a light pink.
"They aren't girl jeans, Frankie! Just because they're tight... Anyway, I know you love them.." He smirks and I shamelessly nod my head at him, laughing.
"I sure do, Gerard. I love them, and I love you.." I blush, still not quite used to uttering those three words yet. We stare into each others eyes, Gerard stroking my cheek with his thumb. It feels so great to be with him again, I could jump for joy. Without realizing, I lean in. Gerard notices, and he does the same. Our lips meet, and I swear to God, for the first time, fireworks erupt in my brain, making me tingle.
It's slow and gentle. Neither of us are up to much more than that. I shift my body slightly, causing jolts of pain to go through me, and I wince and pull away slightly. Gerard's face is concerned and his eyebrows are furrowed.
"Are you okay, Frankie?" I nod and lean back in. Breathless from my little attack of pain, the kiss doesn't last for too long before I pull away. I catch my breath while Gerard stares at me, his lip snared between his lips once again. I gently pull it out with my finger and notice a little drop of blood on it.
"Gerard, you're bleeding.. Stop biting your lip, okay?" I keep my voice soft and steady and grab a tissue. I know it's not the most ideal thing, but I'm trying to help, and Gerard pushes my hand away with a sigh. Hurt fills me and I drop my hands.
"What's wrong with you, Gerard? You're acting a bit strange..." I stare at him while he dabs at his lip with a corner of the bed sheet.
"Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all." His tone is sarcastic and he snaps at me slightly.
"Fine. Whatever, Gerard. I'm going to go back to my room.." I start to slide of the bed, but every movement I do sends waves of pain through me. I try to keep my gasps and cries in, but a few escape. I stop, halfway off the bed and blink a few times, trying to keep the tears back.
"Frankie, stop. You're hurting yourself. Look, I'm sorry, just please stay. I don't want to be on my own anymore.." I sigh and nod my head slightly, my back still facing him. We sit in silence again. This all seems forced, nothing like it used to be. Conversation seemed to flow so easily, but now we have nothing to say to each other. I sigh again and slump my shoulders even more. Without Gerard, I literally have nothing to live for. Nobody would miss me, nearly everyone I love is dead or I don't speak to them.
The bed shifts and I feel a hand on my hair, stroking it. Gerard's arm snakes around my waist and I feel his chest on my back. I lean into his touch, sighing. He kisses my temple and his lips linger there for a minute, and I can feel his breath on the side of my face. Neither of us speaks, we just think. I think about the two of us, and what would happen if we broke up. I don't know what Gerard's thinking about, but I hear him gulp. I look up, and a tear drop lands on my cheek. That teardrop is followed by another, and another. I turn my body, wincing. His lip trembles and his shoulders shake with the effort to try and stop crying.
"Gee? What's wrong?" I wipe the tears of his cheeks, but they are soon wet again. He shakes his head at me, and swallows again. He either can't talk, or he doesn't want to talk. I sigh and wrap my arms around his shoulders, trapping him in a hug. My injuries burn, but I ignore the pain. He lets out a strangled sob, one of the ones that makes your whole body shudder because of the intensity of it. Gerard's head is buried in my neck, and his tears are wetting my hospital gown. I stroke his hair and start to hum. Hopefully, this will calm him down slightly.
"Gee, talk to me, please.." All he does is let out a long, heart-breaking cry, and the hairs on the back of my neck stands up. We sit, and I let him cry until he can't cry anymore. The only noise you can hear in the room now is his sniffles. He pulls away and I release my grip on him. He wipes at his cheeks and runs a hand through his hair, making it messier. We lock eyes and I try to plead with him through mine.
"I.. I thought I was going to loose you, Frankie. I couldn't handle it, I took.. drugs again... I'm.. I'm sorry, I broke my promise to you... I'm such a bad person.." I shake my head and place a hand on his cheek, my arm protesting.
"I think you're an angel. A motherfucking angel, Gerard. My dad was a bad person, he was the definition of 'bad person', you're not, okay?" He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
"Yeah, sure he was... Wait was?" He looks confused at my use of the past tense. I nod my head at him.
"Yeah, he was." I lean in closer and lower my voice to a whisper. "I killed him. An eye for an eye, you could say. He murdered my mom, I murdered him. And then I burnt the house down, but that doesn't really matter.." Gerard smirks at me, but there is still pain in his eyes.
"Never knew you had it in you, Frankie... Little Frank murdering a big fella like him? Wow.. I'd of liked to see that, I bet it would have been hot..." I wrinkle my nose at him and laugh.
"Sure, I even felt hot, you know. Covered in blood, a manic smile on my face, standing over him... Hottest moment of my life." I try to keep my voice light, but I fail, and it comes out forced and I look down. Why am I bragging about this? I shouldn't even talk about, it was one of the most messed up moments of my life, not hottest.
"I'm sorry, Frankie. I didn't mean to.. uh, bring it up.." I shake my head and force my lips to curve up. I'm sure I end up looking like I'm scowling, but Gerard doesn't comment, he just smiles back.
"It's okay, we do need to talk about it. Perhaps in some place else, though. I haven't told the police yet, and I was interviewed a few days ago.." Gerard nods his head, still smiling slightly.
"You do need to tell them, though." He thinks for a second. "How long was I out for? How long have you even been here?"
"You were out for eight days. I've been here for five. You were in a... a coma, Gerard. I thought you weren't going to wake up.." My voice breaks and I struggle to hold in the tears. Gerard's mouth open slightly, like he can't believe what I just told him.
"A.. a coma? Eight days? What even happen-" He cuts himself off, and his eyes go glassy. He stares at his hands for a minute, then he shudders.
"Oh, Frankie. I'm sorry.. I.. I just couldn't handle it, I didn't mean to try.. to try.. to.. commit suicide.." He looks distraught, and I close my eyes, tears slipping down my cheeks.
"Again.." My voice sounds choked, and Gerard looks up in surprise.
"What? How do you know, I never told you.." He's shaking his head, and his lips are pressed together.
"Does Dr Martins sound familiar to you? My dad had the note you wrote for him. I don't know how, but I read it, and it broke my heart.." Gerard gasps when the name leaves my lips.
"That... that son of a bitch! He knew your dad?" I nod. Both of us are confused, and Gerard is slightly more than angry.
"He's a psychiatrist.. Not a fucking crook.. Wow, my mom really does have bad judgment in people.." He shakes his head and chuckles, but it's humorless.
"Gerard, calm down. We're both fine now!" He stares at me, anger in his eyes.
"Fine? Have you fucking seen yourself, Frankie? Have you fucking seen me? I'm far from fucking fine, I tried to commit suicide eights days ago, and you just got fucking tortured and shit for, like, eight days We are not fucking fine, cut the bullshit, Frank!" He's shouting at me, and for some reason he sounds like my dad. I cower away from him, terrified.
"Oh, what's wrong now? I thought we were fucking fine!" The venom in his voice causes me to start shaking. I let out a small sob and bury my face in my legs. The pain is back in full force, the morphine must have fully worn off. I gasp for air, going dizzy.
"Frankie?" Gerard sounds like Gerard again, but I can still hear how his voice was less than a minute ago. I feel a hand touch my back and I jerk away, screaming slightly.
"Frankie?" His voice breaks and I fall off the bed. I let out a yelp and start to sob, loudly.
"Shit! Nurse! Nurse! A little help here, maybe?" I hear footsteps run in, and I wonder why the y didn't a minute ago, when Gerard was screaming at me.
"What did you do, Mr Way? He's in very bad shape, you shouldn't scare him.. or even talk to him loudly." I feel hands on me, and I scream, thinking that my dad has somehow managed to survive and is going to take me back. My body thrashes around and white-hot tendrils of pain rush through me, rendering me still and whimpering. I get carried out of the room, and all the while Gerard is yelling my name.
I black out on the way to my room and apparently I don't wake up for a day after. When I do wake up, my brain is thinking sluggishly. I'm back on the morphine drip, then. I lie there for a second with my eyes closed. I try not to think about what landed me back in here in such horrible circumstance, but it's impossible not to. I was terrified of Gerard. My Gerard, the one who I love more than anybody in the world? He has never shouted at me properly before, not even when we got into that fight. He made me have a panic attack, and I wanted to crawl out of his room and never look back when he shouted at me.
I open my eyes and move my head to the side. The little clock on the table next to me says that it's around lunchtime. I sigh and shift, uncomfortable. My movement are fruitless, because it's the fucking bed that's uncomfortable, not my position. I give up on trying to move and stare at the clock again. Minutes tick by and my eyes start to close slightly. I hear the sound of the door opening and jump, startled.
"Ah, Mr Iero, you're awake. I'm your new doctor, and my name is John Carlisle. You can call me John if you like, I've never been into formality all too much." He smiles at me, and this smile is genuine. I decide that I like him, and smile back.
"You've been out for a whole day, Mr Iero.." I clear my throat and scratch my cheek.
"Call me Frank. You think I like being formal, either? Why was I out for that long?" I yawn and rub my eyes.
"Your body got put under lots of pain, Frank. You dislocated your knee again when you.. fell?" I nod at him and he continues.
"It seemed like your brain kind of shut down until it felt absolutely no more pain. We thought you were in a coma, Frank. What the hell.. Sorry, I mean what happened in there?" I try to think of an answer that I could say without making my voice shake.
"I, uh... I remembered something and got scared, I guess. I fell off the bed and Gerard called in the nurses." I try to convince him as much as possible, because I don't want Gerard getting into trouble. He nods at me, but his eyes are narrowed, so I know he doesn't believe me. He walks closer to my bed and sits down on the end of it.
"Are you sure, Frank? Did.. Did Gerard get violent, and that's what scared you? The people outside the room said they heard shouting, but it was angry and one-sided. What actually happened?" My eyes widen and my mind trips over my lies. After a few minutes of heavy silence, I am finally able to speak.
"I'm sure. Gerard wouldn't hit me. Anyway, you don't see any new bruises or anything, do you?" He scans my face and arms before sighing and nodding his head.
"Okay. Well, the boy in question, Gerard, hasn't left the chairs outside of your room since. Care to let him in?" I gulp and debate mentally if it's a good idea. I take a silent deep breath and nod at John. He smiles once more and then leaves. Gerard appears in the doorway a second later, and he looks terrified. He looks me over and reaches my face, but he doesn't look me in the eyes. He divers in the doorway, neither out nor in the room.
"Come in then, Gerard." My voice cuts through the silence and Gerard takes a deep breath and exhales it. He walks timidly inside, and sits on the chair that's placed by my bed. He still hasn't looked at me in my eyes and I'm beginning to get apprehensive over the nature of his visit. Is he going to break up with me? He pulls out a slip of paper from his pocket and unfolds it. He reads through it and then clears his throat, placing it on his lap.
"I'm so sorry, Frankie. I.. I didn't mean it. I'm so fucking sorry. You dislocated your knee again, didn't you? Shit... I'm such a bad person. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't just break up with me and tell me to get out of your life..." I feel a laugh rising in my throat, and it comes out before I can stop myself. Gerard finally looks me in my eyes, his eyebrows furrowed. He's confused, and understandably so.
"I'm sorry.. I just.. I thought you were going to break up with me!" I'm still laughing, and I think it's because of the drugs I'm being given. Gerard smiles at me, bemused. His face then goes serious, and he glances at the piece of paper on his lap.
"What's with the paper, Gee?" He smiles nervously at me and runs his hands through his hair.
"I ,uh, this?" He holds it up and waves it slightly. "It's, uh, nothing.." He avoids my gaze, and his ears turn pink.
"You're a really bad liar, Gee." I smirk at him and his cheeks turn red.
"I am? Damn, and I really wanted to be a spy when I was older.. Guess I can't, can I?" He shakes his head, feigning disappointment. I chuckle at him.
"Gerard, stop trying to change the subject. What's on the piece of paper?" He sighs, his cheeks going redder.
"Ugh, fine. It's a song that I wrote. For you.." He mumbles the last two words so I can't hear, but I do.
"Aww, how sweet! For me? Sing it!" I sound like an overly excited three year when they've just been told they get to go to Disneyland. Gerard chuckles at me, and I beam back at him.
"Fine... I wrote on the seventh day you were gone, and I personally think it sounds like you're dead or something.." My smile falters a bit, and I worry what the lyrics are.
"What's it called?" My voice is soft and quiet.
"The Light Behind Your Eyes. Your letter kind of inspired the title and stuff." He smiles sheepishly at me and rubs the back of his neck.
"What letter? Oh.. That letter.. Do you still have it?" Gerard looks shocked at my question and I don't know why.
"Yes. Of course I still have it, Frankie. I don't necessarily need it, because I know it off by heart.. Oops, didn't mean to tell you that.." His cheeks turn crimson and he chuckles at himself. My heart warms at his words, but I decide to ignore them, because he's embarrassed.
"Well, sing it then!" He gives me a look of playful annoyance and then clears his throat. He reads through it once more and then he takes a deep breath and starts singing.

So long to all my friends, everyone of them met tragic ends.
With every passing day, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight.
And if they only knew what I would say if I could be with you tonight;
I would sing you to sleep, never let them take the light behind your eyes.
One day I’ll lose this fight
As we fade in the dark; just remember you will always burn as bright
Be strong and hold my hand.
Time—it comes for us, you’ll understand
We’ll say goodbye today
And I'm sorry how it ends this way
If you promise not to cry
Then I’ll tell you just what I would say if I could be with you tonight;
I would sing you to sleep, never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lose this fight, never fade in the dark; just remember you will always burn as bright

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your...

Sometimes we must grow stronger and you can be stronger when I'm gone
When I’m here, no longer, you must be stronger and...
If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep, never let them take the light behind your eyes
I failed and lost this fight, never fade in the dark; just remember you will always burn as bright

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes

Notes

New chapter... Hope you like it!
Do any of you like Front Porch Step? I'm kinda obsessed with him at the minute... That's were the title's from..
I'll try and update tomorrow, we'll have to see. Comment and shit xo