Forget About The Dirty Looks.

Frank's POV
Everything that happened after that was a blur. I remember calling the police, hysterically, and trying to tell them where I was. I had no fucking clue, so they ended up tracking the call. It turns out I was three hours away from where I lived, and in the middle of nowhere. I lay, crying, on the ground for the whole time they were driving over there. They gave me a sedative before getting me into the ambulance, because apparently I was freaking the fuck out. I also apparently gave one of the paramedics a black eye and another a split lip. Oh well.
I woke up in hospital four days after, and my whole body hurt like a son of a bitch. I was right, my hands were broken, and they had already partially set, so they re-broke them in a surgery. I also has a dislocated knee, broken toes, third degree burns on my thighs and my forearm. Of course I had other injuries, but they were apparently the worst. The burns got infected, and I had to be wrapped up and put in a secure room so no other infection could get in. Most of my cuts were infected as well, but to be completely honest, I couldn't give a flying fuck. I'm so doped up on morphine, I can't even spell my name right.
Gerard still hasn't woke up. It's been eight days since he tried it, and he still hasn't woken up. The doctors don't know why, all of his vitals are okay, he's okay. They say that maybe his mental well-being isn't letting him wake up, and that as soon as I can go to his room and talk to him, he should respond. What a load of crap. If he doesn't respond to his mom and Mikey sobbing by his bedside, then why would he respond to me?
I've been in the hospital five days, he's been in here for eight. If he'd just held on two more days, then maybe we could be together now, albeit not very happily, but still together. I should be able to get in a wheelchair and go to him today, as soon as the doctor comes and checks me over. I've not had any contact with anybody except from the doctor in five days. It's given me a lot of time to think, and my thoughts are far from happy. Suicide is back on my mind, which I find ironic, considering how hard I fought to stay alive in that house. I feel like I'm taking my life for granted and that that was a test, and I passed, but I want to die anyway.
I swear to God, if any more Morphine passes through my system, I will die. That thought makes me almost happy, and it feels strange, because I haven't been happy in almost three weeks.
I have dreams, every night, and they should be nightmares, I should wake up screaming. In every single one of them, I die. In every single one of them, laughter rings from my mouth. I die happy, and I don't even cause my own death.
I haven't told anybody about anything I'm feeling, I refuse to talk until I see Gerard. I want my first words to be to him, and I want to speak only three words. Like my mother, when she said it to me for the last time, I'll probably not get a reply. I'm going to say them anyway, and I don't care who hears it. God could walk past and smite me down, but I'd still say it, using my dying breath.
Donna has tried to visit me, but they didn't let her in. Mikey and Ray tried to visit me, but they didn't let them in. Bob's tried to visit me, but they didn't let him in. I could hear him shout my name from down the corridor, but I didn't hear the rest of what he said. I've missed them all, so much, but none of them nearly as much as Gerard. I miss him with the very essence of my being.
The doctor walks in, the horrible, forced, fake smile on his lips as usual. I don't even bother to look at him properly when he walks in, I just open one eye and then close it again, sighing.
"Hello, Frank. I've checked over you vitals and everything, all we need is to find you a wheelchair, and then you're good to go! Isn't that nice?" I hate patronizing people, they make me cringe.
"Do you know what, Doc? I hate patronizing people.." His smile drops off his face, and I find myself smile. He pretends to make himself busy, and he reads through my file. His pager beeps and he reads the little screen.
"Okay, so they're bringing a wheelchair up as we speak, so lets get you sat up, shall we?" I sigh, but nod. I press the little button on the side of my bed that makes it sit up. I doesn't hurt, so I move quickly. He pulls the covers off me, and helps me swing my legs over the side of the bed. I feel very stiff, but nothing dents the protective cover the morphine has set around me, so I carry on. A nurse wheels in the big chair and stops it in front of me. They both grab an arm, but gently, and professionally, like they got trained to do. It's a quick transition from bed to chair, and before I know it, I'm being wheeled down the corridor, heading towards Gerard's room.
Gerard's door is closed, and it says 'Room 305' on the door. They push the door open, and Donna looks up, being startled from sleep. She smiles excitedly when she sees me, but I can't muster a simple hello, let alone a smile.
I look at Gerard. He looks so peaceful, like he's only sleeping. His hair is shorter than the last time I saw him, and it's back to how it was when we first met. His eyes have light purple rings around them, and he's almost as white as the sheets that cover him. A ventilation machine is sat, abandoned, in the corner. He can breathe by himself, he just can't seem to respond to anything or wake up. At least, that's what the doctor says every time I ask how he is.
He looks beautiful, like usual. I let out a little gasp and tears fill my eyes. It's a bittersweet moment, I'm so happy to see him, but he is basically dead to everything, and we can't speak. Still, it's Gerard, and it's the best I can get at the moment, so I'm going to take it. They wheel me to beside his bed, and leave.
"I'm going to give you a while to talk to him, Frank. Shout me if you need me, I'll be just outside." She ruffles my hair. and quietly slips outside the room. I watch her leave and then I take a deep breath. I release it and clear my throat. My hands are shaking as I grip Gerard's in mine.
"Hi, Gee.." My voice sounds pathetic, and it doesn't have any effect on him at all.
"I'm free now, Gerard. You don't have to stay sleeping anymore, y'know.." Still no effect. There's a lump in my throat and I try to swallow it down, but it won't budge.
"I... This is killing me, Gerard. This, thing, this is fucking twisting my insides up and.. and grinding my heart up.." Tears roll steadily down my face, and I can't find the words to express my feelings.
"I love you, Gee. As soon as you wake up, I'm buying you a fucking ring and we'll.. we'll run away and get married in secret, okay? Just you and me... Nobody will be able to stop us.." My voice is choked, and I'm gripping onto Gerard's lifeless hand hard enough to make it fall off.
"Please... Please, just.. Just fucking wake up, Gerard Way. I didn't kill my own father just to see you die.." I give a fake chuckle, but it sounds more like a groan. I look at his heart rate monitor and see that it hasn't picked up in speed, his chest isn't rising and falling any faster. I sigh and sit back in my chair.
"They said you might respond to me. I thought it was a load of bull-shit, and I turn out to be right. Fuck, why won't you just fucking wake up! I miss you, so, so much. I need you! I want to fucking die, every minute of every day, and I need you to tell me that it's a bad idea, but... but.. you just.. you can't, and it's all my fucking fault! All my fault.. I'm, I'm sorry it had to be this way, Gerard." I'm rising to hysteria right now, and I have to make myself stop talking.
I lay my head down on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. I'd forgotten how much I missed this sound, so I just listen and forget everything around me. My hand still grips his, and I'm periodically squeezing it, trying to get a reaction from him. I lift my head up and stare at his face. Some strands of his hair are over his face, covering it. I gently push them away and press my lips to his temple. I hear a sigh, and wildly turn around. Nobody else is in here, just Gerard and I. I slowly move my eyes down to his face, but nothing has changed. Did he even sigh? I was sure that he did, but now I'm doubting myself.
To see if he does it again, I kiss his forehead lightly. Another sigh. My face breaks into a grin and I start kissing all over his face, wondering if this the key to waking him up. I reach his slightly parted lips and kiss the gently and lightly. A sound louder and rougher than a sigh escapes his lips, but his expression doesn't change. I groan, frustrated.
"Help me out a little, Gee. What the hell am I supposed to do? I love you and all, but you can be super frustrating sometimes, you know that?" At the word 'love' the heart rate monitor picks up. I grin, and chuckle.
"I love you. I love, love, love you. Gerard Arthur Way, I love you!" He keeps squeezing my hand, and by the time I end the sentence I'm laughing.
"C'mon, Gerard. Wake up. Open your eyes for a saying and say something and then you can go back to sleep if you want..." I'm lent as far forward as my body allows without falling off my chair, and I feel his breath fanning my face. A stab of pain goes through me, and I cry out. The morphine must be wearing off. I don't want to leave, but I know soon I'll have to, before I literally start crying out loud from the pain. When I cry out, though, Gerard's breath hitches. Is he slowly waking up? I hope so.
"Gerard, hun, please wake up soon. I won't be able to stay that much longer. It'll hurt too much. Worse than it is now.." Another stab of pain runs through me , and I bite my lip. I lean back, slowly, trying to keep movement to a minimum, but I still end up groaning and almost crying. I let go of Gerard's hand and place my hands in my lap. Holding hands with somebody when you have broken, painful fingers is never a good idea. His hands stretch out, as if looking for something but them go limp.
"I'm.. I'm still here, Gee." My voice is laced with pain and breathless, and Gerard's once peaceful expression is slowly getting more distressed.
"Fran... kie.." He utters my name, and I swear my heart stops. I lean forward, not caring anymore about the pain coursing through my body.
"Gerard?" My voice is nothing above a whisper, and it wavers slightly. I touch his face, tracing his features. He groans and his eyelids flutter. They don't open, but he's trying.
"That's it, Gee... Wake up, let me see your beautiful eyes again. I've missed them so much, you know?" My voice is still a whisper, but you can't mistake the love and tenderness in it. His eyelids flutter again, but this time they open for a second, before fluttering back closed. It was a quick glimpse, but long enough for me to see the beautiful irises behind his closed eyelids. I laugh, overjoyed. I kiss his cheek and they flutter again. They don't open, not this time. He's trying so hard to open his eyes and wake up, you can literally smell the determination wafting off him. I accidentally try to flex my fingers, forgetting they're broke, and I yelp out a small 'shit' and a tear escapes my eye.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch. Shit, I will not be doing that again..." I'm talking quietly to myself, distracted from looking at Gerard by my stupid, fucking broken fingers.
"Frankie? You okay?" His voice is soft and unsure, but it still sounds like him. My head whips round so fast, I think I get whiplash.
"Oh My God." He's awake! He's really fucking awake! I start crying right then, unable to stop myself even if I wanted to.
"Oh... God, you're.. you're really fucking awake? Am I dreaming?" I'm laughing, just out of pure relief and happiness. I'm laughing and crying hysterically at the same time, and I bet if a psychiatrist walked past right now, I'd be took down to their office. Gerard nods and I launch myself at him. The pain sets in after I do, so I grip onto Gerard while I cry in pain and happiness and laugh.
He's laughing, too. He clings on to me just as tightly as I am, and it hurts, but I couldn't give a damn. Gerard's awake, I can talk to him, kiss him, hug him. I pull back a bit at look into his eyes, glancing at his lips. I lean in at the same time as he does, and our lips meet. I've missed the slow heavy warmth that spreads through my body when we kiss. The kiss is slow and short, like our first kiss. I think it's perfect. We pull away and just lie there for a while. Soaking in each others presence, still both in disbelief that we're here, together.
Donna walks in, and drops the two coffees she's holding when she sees us, Gerard awake.
"Holy mother of fucking God! Gerard, you're awake?" Me and Gerard laugh at her.
"So it may seem, mom.." She stands there, stunned. Then, she starts to cry. She runs towards us and gathers us in a hug. Her high pitched wailing is hurting my ears.
"Mom, what's- Gerard?" Mikey's voice comes from by the door, shocked.
"That's right, Mikey. I'm awake!" Gerard's voice is muffled, but clear.
"What the hell! You fucking little prick, you fucking scared us all so much, Gerard! You selfish little shit!" Mikey's voice holds so much anger, and I hear his footsteps run away from the door, and into the distance. Donna straightens up and looks at the spot where Mikey would have been. She looks confused. Gerard, however, looks on the verge of crying. His lower lip trembles, and he's gone as pale as a sheet.
"Gerard, it's okay. He's just.. shocked to see you awake, that's all.." His mom's voice does little to comfort him, I can tell, but he bites his lip and tries to smile. He swallows hard and takes a deep breath.
"Yeah, it's cool. It's all okay.." He sounds like he reassuring himself, not his mom.
"You should go find him, Donna. I'll sit with Gerard, if you want?" She sighs, but nods her head. She rushes out of the room and I distantly hear her shouting Mikey's name.
It's just me and Gerard, but the atmosphere has done a completely illegal U-turn and is heading back down towards the street called Sorrow and Grief.

Notes

Third chapter! I might be able to get another one in...
Hope you like it, comment maybe?xo