The Paper Kingdom

The rain had stopped as me and Gerard walked out of the restaurant. I was so full, seeing as that was the first real meal I’d had in a while. Gerard liked food, and I guess I was just remembering how much I used to.

Now eating was just another chore, that was easier done with a bowl of ramen or campbell’s tomato soup than having to spend money or leave the house. But going out for dinner with Gerard was nice.

The awkward mood from the disturbing meeting earlier and my panic attack from the rain had died down and we were just walking. Gerard was telling me about his brother.

“Mikey.” He said smiling. “Best kid ever. He used to like, when we were kids, just tell me about how awesome our futures would be. He would play bass in some awesome band that had lots of fun and got to save lives. I would write comic books, win an Eisner award, and we’d still be close and live next door to each other and our girlfriends would be super hot and best friends and everything would just be fun. And we would be friends with Morrissey.”

He chuckled.

“I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with Morrissey?” I smirked.

“Did you ever do that? Make up stories about your own future when you were a kid?” Gerard asked me.

“I wanted to be a superhero.” I said, embarrassed about my childhood dreams. “But I didn’t want to save the world from evil, I just kept myself and people I loved safe.”

Gerard shook his head. “No. No. If you are a superhero, you have to save the world. It’s just the way it’s done.”

I thought about that. “Why?”

“Cause…” He was thinking. Why did every human (or non-human) living on earth that was blessed with superpowers feel this need to save the world.. “Why wouldn’t you want to?”

“I would feel like my powers were a curse, that I had to save the world.” I told him. He was starting to understand. “I would lose all the power to make decisions.”

“Why aren’t superhero’s pissed that they have to save the world?” Gerard wondered out loud.

“Now you’re asking the right questions.” I smiled, looking a bit up at him. His bleached hair looked like a mess, sticking up at all angles from the humidity. We stopped, I reached up and pushed his hair down so it was slightly less eccentric. We were still there and he was staring at me, eyes trailing all over my face and seemingly resting on my lips.

“Don’t you think you’re a bit old for me?”

“I don’t care, you’re beautiful.” Weird choice of words but with my hands still in his hair, I got up onto my toes and he wrapped his arms around me and we kissed. His lips were soft and he was moving slowly, which I was fine with. The kiss deepened, my hands resting on the sides of his neck and him caressing the back of my head with one of his hands, the other one on my back.

By the time we’d pulled away, we were both gasping for breath.

“Are we close to your place?” Gerard asked me, his face just an inch away from mine.

“One block that way.” I say, pointing forwards. He grabs my hand and starts running, dragging me off towards my apartment building. The building was a red brick, and quite small, just three floors and five rooms per floor. Mine was on the third floor, and I was lucky enough to be at the end of the hall, that meant no one walking across the hall, in front of my place at night.

I pulled my key out of my pocket, opened up the door to my room and was dragged inside by an obviously very horny Gerard Way. I was leaned up against the door and instead of kissing me, his lips attached to my neck, starting to suck and bite, and then moving down, promising me a nice trail of hickeys tomorrow.

He pulled away. “Bedroom?” I smiled.

“The black door at the back.” I mumbled and before I knew it, Gerard had picked me up, bridal style, and walked quickly into my room.
My room wasn’t this castle as most people made their room out to be. My room was white, the bed was just a plain, queen-sized mattress on the floor with white sheets and a thick, grey blanket. There was a small desk on the side of the room, nothing on the walls, nothing on the floors apart from the dark wood that was the floor of the entire apartment. My room was a place to just exist. My thoughts coloured the room in my head. It could be anything, because it was nothing. If it was too bright, it wouldn’t fit me if I was feeling dark. If it was too dark, it wouldn’t fit me if I was feeling bright.

“Your room is boring.” Gerard teased. “I’m an adult and my room is more exciting than this.”

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.”

He dropped me, lightly, more like placed me, on the mattress. “Good thinking. We have better things to do than talk.”

He started kissing me again, climbing on top of me. I pulled his tee shirt up and over his head, briefly pulling away, which meant once it was off, the kissing was more frenzied, more intense. He needed this, more than I could ever understand. It was more than the little meeting we had attended, it was something more.

Clothes starting coming off, until we were both completely exposed, something I’d just started to feel uncomfortable about because he was beautiful and I was a mess. But I could tune my teenage self-loathing off for long enough to have sex with this man.

He pulled a condom on and finally was inside me. He started slowly, looking at me, like he was scared to hurt me. I shot him a look, silently begging him to move faster, to do anything, which led to him kicking up the pace.

It was up there on ‘the best sex i’d ever had’ list. He knew what he was doing, I’m guessing it was age, seeing as he was an average size and completely weird.

I felt the orgasm, sort of grow, inside of me, Gerard letting out quiet moans, looking happier than I’d probably ever genuinely seen him. Sex does that. If it’s all consensual, it feels brilliant. His hands clutched the back of my head and my nails dug into his back.

I orgasmed, and moments later, so did Gerard.

“Oh my god, Lindsey.” He said, before closing his eyes and doing what I had just done. My eyes were wide.

It’s not a compliment to have a guy moan another girl’s name when you were in bed together. Once he pulled out, I just went to the washroom, told him I needed a minute. It took him some time to realize his own mistake. I’d locked the door and was just sitting on the toilet, feeling a little repulsed. He used me. He had to have used me.

If he wanted me, he wouldn’t save said Lindsey.

“Juliet! Fuck, I’m so sorry. I’ll explain everything. Please don’t hate me. I can’t have anyone else hate me.” He was crying, I could hear it in his voice. I had to talk to him even if his story was full of shit, because I felt like a whore and he felt like a dick and we both felt awful.

Notes

noting:

i am not a smut writer

i don't really enjoy reading it, and it's a nightmare to write

but i know where i want this story to go so BAM chapter two sex

for the record, if anyone reads this, there won't be much smut in this but who knows?

xxx

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