Disenchanted

I was really excited to hang out with Gerard. It was weird... I was worried he didn't want to hang out. I've never felt this way about anyone but Gerard makes me feel fuzzy and warm... I didn't even know I was interested in guys... maybe its not all guys.. or any except Gerard and i just loves the way he smells like a mix of cinnamon and sage. I love thinking about him. I wonder if he thinks about me? I bet he's a really good kisser...I spent way to much time thinking about Gerard that I forgot I was going to see him very shortly. I quickly got dressed in a black sweater with misfits pins, faded grey jeans, a studded belt, skeleton gloves, black converse, and a black beanie. and of coarse a little eyeliner.........

I heard a knock at the door.. and all of a sudden I got really nervous. I had butterflies in my stomach. When I opened the door all I could do was smile. He was standing there looking radiant. his shiny black hair and his perfectly pale skin and his sparkling hazel eyes. I could barely even stutter out the word H-Hi. Gerard smiled and said " hey baby why do you seem so nervous? are you alright? ". " Oh yeah gee Im okay just a bit cold. But I will be fine". Gerard hugged me and said " okay Frankie .. oh and you look adorable by the way.'' I smiled and just stared into his eyes until Alexander came and said " Mr. Frank Iero are you ready sir?" " Oh yes alexander we are ready" "ready?" Gerard said. " Oh yes umm Alexander will drive us to the mall.. its pretty far." Gerard smiled and said " oh thank you alexander that is very nice of you". we got into the car and Gerard reached out to hold my hand. I looked at him unsure what to do I felt bad because he also looked confused.. he said " oh I'm sorry Frankie I thought this was kinda like a date". He turned and looked out the window I could tell he felt a bit embarrassed. I said " sorry Gee .. I didn't know you thought that.. I don't know if I'm really ready to date anyone yet I mean I like you but, Im going through shit right now and I'm just not sure". Gerard smiled and said " Frankie don't worry I understand. I'm just happy to be spending time with you". He was smiling but I can tell he was hurt. The sparkle in his eyes faded. ..... Did I ruin my chance of ever being with him?

Notes

Sooo I'm kinda going through stuff :( thats not great.. and i haven;t really been able to update.. sorry if these few chapters are a bit boring. They will get interesting soon. Title is from Panic! at The Disco's New Perspective.