Love Should Always Be Blind

For the past two weeks, Frank has been coming over everyday after school with Matt. Then on the weekends Frank and I just usually talk over the phone. I have learned a lot about him in the past few weeks. First things first he plays guitar in his band he mention earlier; Pencey Prep. We both like the same kind of bands too, like The Smashing Pumpkins, The Misfits, and The Smiths. Music is a big thing for me, since I didn't really like watching TV or movies. Sometimes Frank and I would just listen to music in the lounge at my house and enjoy the music in comfortable silence. That's how I knew I really liked him too; we were able to be comfortable in the silence.

Franks a vegetarian, like I had found out that Monday. His favorite subject in school is English like me. Another thing; we both like the same kind of books. We both like the classics like The Great Gatsby and To Kill a Mocking Bird, but also the up to date classics, like The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Looking for Alaska. Books were next to music in my list of important things. Those and coffee...those are the kinds of thoughts that were running threw my mind. It was Friday though and Matt had football practice on Friday's so Frank didn't come over. I was bummed, knowing I wouldn't be with him again until Monday. I was beginning to get addicted to Franks company. Nothing seemed as exciting if Frank wasn't there to hold my hand or give his opinion. The sound of his voice drifted in and out of my mind, like a fleeting beautiful tune, I couldn't get out of my head. It was deep and smooth and it made my knees weak. I could listen to Frank talk all day. His smell an imprint in my memory, fabric softener, coffee, and cigarettes. The touch of his hands, warm and callous, yet comforting.

“Ugh!” I groaned aloud. I couldn't get Frank out of my head! Damn this boy for doing this to me, without my permission, coming in to my life like he could do whatever he wanted.

“You seem frustrated.” A cool voice came from the doorway of the lounge, as I sat on the couch. That stupid sexy voice I hated and loved at the same time. I jumped at the intruding noise, gasping in air and clutching a hand to my heart.

“Holy fucking shit, Frank! You can't sneak up on me like that!” I yelled, sitting up. Franks footsteps made their way over to me, plopping himself next to me on the couch.

“Sorry.” He said, not sounding sorry at all.

“What are you doing here anyways?” I asked.

“What, I can't come see you?” He wondered, faking hurt.

“Well, yeah. But it's Friday. Matt's not here.” I pointed out, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“I don't need Matt to come see you.” Frank laughed, reaching into my lap to take hold of one of my hands. I blushed and squirmed.

“Oh...okay.” I muttered.

“You're adorable, you know that?” Frank laughed at my reaction, making me blush even more. Frank leaned in a gave me a quick peck on the cheek, my stomach dropping in effect.

“How'd you even get in the house?” I wondered, once he pulled back.

“My Dad has a key. He made me one too. Now I can sneak up on you anytime I want.” Frank said smugly. I groaned.

“Great.”

“You love it.” I rolled my eyes.


“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” I suggested after a moment of us just holding hands, Franks thumb stroking over my knuckles.

“Actually. I have plans for us tonight. I'm taking you on that date, I promised.” Frank said proudly.

“Wait, what? How?” I demanded, I didn't want to get excited if he was just yanking my chain, although I don't think Frank would do that.

“Well” He drawled out, “My Dad and your Mom are going out tonight on a date. Matt's got football practice and is spending the night at a friends.”

“What about Sarah?”

“She's going to the library for a study group with friends.” Frank concluded happily.

“Oh...okay.” I said a bit stunned. “So what are we going to do?”

“Well. First of all I'm going to call in a lovely pizza for the both of us. And I've got a few things up my sleeve.” He explained, probably with a wink that I couldn't see.

And true to his word, by six o'clock, Frank and I were the only ones left in the house. Of course Mom just thought we were hanging out like any other afternoon. Little did she know, that this was going to be my first date ever! Frank got a large cheese pizza that we ate together on the floor of the lounge, with Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness playing in the background. With our back against the couch, we just simply talked about the same old shit we usually do. How was Franks day at school, how was tutoring for me. Frank talked about his band a little bit more, about how they were going to play a gig next Saturday night and that I should try and come.

“I'd love to Frank, but how do you expect me to get there when we can barely even find a way to go on a date, at my house?” I pointed out. Frank sighed at this realization.

“Well can't you just tell your Mom it's better then going to a concert. I mean it's just at a little bar.” He tried to figure out. I couldn't help but smile at his cute attempt.

“I don't think that's how she'll see it, Frankie. Plus I've never been to a thing like that let alone, a concert.” I said.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Frank exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder. “You mean to tell me you've never been to a concert before!” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“Well...no.”

“Oh my God! Gee! I need to take you to a concert! Every teenagers has to go to a concert at least once! Especially you! You love music.” He ranted on, like it was a matter of life or death.

“Good luck with that one.” I replied, giggling at his concern for me.

“No, I'm serious. I'll fucking handcuff myself to you if that's what it takes for your Mom to say yes.” He insisted. “I'll look up concerts later. I promise if it's the last thing I do, you are going to a damn concert.”

“Alright, alright, well let's focus on her letting me go to your gig first.” I reasoned. Frank sighed again.

“Yeah okay...enough of this planning then. Let's go get some coffee.” He offered.
“Sure. I'll go downstairs and make a pot-”

“No, babe. Not make coffee, go get some.” Frank rephrased, cutting me off. The initial shock of him calling me, 'babe', gave me a wicked drop in my stomach, then the after shock of what he was implying set in.

“Like go out of the house?” I chocked out a clarification.

“Yeah, duh.” Frank teased. I just sat there gaping like a fish though.

“But, my Mom...if she found out.” I tired to reason.

“No buts. I'm taking you out. This a date here.” He insisted, picking himself off the floor and grabbing my hand to help me up as well.

“Do you need your cane?” He asked aloud.

“Not, if your holding my hand, you dummy.” I grinned. I could only imagine Frank grinning back. I wondered just how beautiful his smile was...

“Okay.” He laughed, “Fair enough.” And with that, Frank strode over to me, linking his fingers into mine. Walking through the house, we made it outside into the cooling September night.

Frank helped me into his car and we were off. Once we got to Starbucks, I ordered a iced white mocha frappachino and Frank got a hot caramel mocchiato. We didn't actually stay there long. We decided to sit outside and drink our coffee's while Frank smoked a cigarette. Sitting there was nice and calm though, Frank never let go of my hand and I actually felt safe. He always seemed to like stroking his thumb over my knuckles, but I wasn't complaining. It was cute. I could hear him puffing on the cigarette and exhale the smoke. I always read in books about people smoking and how cool it seemed to look. I wondered what the smoke really looked like.

“What does that taste like?” I wondered after a few minutes in of Franks smoking.

“What? The cigarette?” He asked.

“Yeah. What does it taste like?” I repeated.

“I dunno. Tobacco...why? Do you want to try?” He offered. I shifted slightly in my seat, not sure of myself.

“I'm not sure...my Mom would kill me...” I trailed off.

“Gee, honey. Stop worrying what your Mom's going to think and just do what you want...here.” He said, taking my other hand he wasn't holding and wrapped my fingers over the stick. It was papery and soft and bumping in some places.

“Just lift it to your lips, inhale and exhale.” He instructed. I sat there a moment. Just a moment, before doing as he said. Lifting the cigarette slowly to my lips, I felt the filter and delicacy, molding my lips around it. It tasted like Frank and his coffee. Inhaling, I instantly felt the smoke infiltrate my mouth and lungs, the indistinguishable taste of smoke lingering in my mouth. Surprisingly I didn't cough, but smoothly exhaled, although I felt unsure of myself. I could feel Frank staring my every move.

“So?” He wondered once all the smoke had left into the air.

“It's not bad...I think it's okay.” I decided slowly.

“Do you want the rest of it?” He laughed. I blushed at the thought.

“Okay...sure.” I smiled, and Frank squeezed my hand, reaching into his pocket with his free hand to get another cigarette for himself.

Once we had finished smoking, we headed home, throwing our empty coffee cups into the trash on the way. The drive was quiet and relaxing, as I just was basking in the glory of leaving the house without the nagging of Mom. Plus it was on a date with a boy I defiantly had a crush on, who let me smoke my first cigarette. I was on a high of impenetrable happiness. As we neared the house, Franks car hummed to a stop, then the engine was cut. Neither Frank nor I moved.

“Do you wanna just sit here. I can put my top down. Were right outside the house.” Frank offered.

“Yeah that sounds nice.” I smiled. Frank let go of my hand quickly to let the top down on his car, letting the cool air hit our faces. We reclined our seats a bit, to let us lie down at an angle.

“The stars are beautiful tonight.” Frank murmurer after a few minutes.

“Mm. I bet.” I hummed back.

“Oh. I'm sorry...I-”

“No, no. It's fine Frank. Relax. I love being outside. I can really feel the difference. It's more calm here than inside.” I explained, and I felt Frank untense from his side of the car. Slinking his hand over across the console, he re-intertwined our fingers.

“You know, you're really something, Gerard.” Frank breathed, as I heard him lay his head to the side of the head rest. I copied his movements, and smiled in his direction.

“Thanks. So are you.” I replied feeling content. Frank reached over and brushed my hair behind my ear. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed his gentle touch with a humming noise.

“How come you never take your sunglasses off, Gee?” He asked, softly, continuing to touch my face and hair.

“I don't like to take them off. I hardly ever do. Even at home.” I admitted.

“But why...would you take them off for me?” He wondered cautiously. I couldn't help but stiffen though.

“I-I don't know about that...” I stammered.

“But why? I want to see your whole face. I'm sure it's just as beautiful as you look now.” He insisted. I sighed heavily.

“You don't know that.” I whispered. Frank rested his hand on my cheek then, moving his thumb back and forth on my cheekbone.

“Please. It doesn't matter to me.” Frank promised. “What's so bad about you without your sunglasses?”

“It makes people uncomfortable.” I croaked, feeling nerves bubble inside my system.

“I'm not other people, Gee. I just want to see your eyes, honey.” He said calmly, trying to comfort me.

“But they don't focus...an-and people don't like it. I feel more normal with my sunglasses on. Like just someone else.” I confessed. Frank sighed, and leaned forward over the console, yet continuing to have his hand on my face. Softly I felt his lips connect with my forehead.

“But you're not just someone. You're Gee and you're beautiful....please?” He asked, slowly moving his lips down to my ear. I shivered at his close contact, swallowing loudly.

“Okay...but please...” I said, not quite sure what I was asking.

“It's okay.” He reassured, then I felt his fingers take hold of the corners of my glasses. I tensed immediately, but Frank continued pulling the sunglasses back until they were gone from my face. Instantly I felt naked and exposed. I didn't know where to look, without the shield of the dark lenses that has become a part of my face for the past ten years. I tried to imagine where Frank was, but it only end up in my eyes fluttering around. The silence was killing me, a million terrible things Frank could be thinking running through my head.

“Is it that bad?” I croaked, wanting desperately to have my sunglasses back.

“Oh, Gerard,” Frank breathed. Flinching I braced myself for impact. “You don't realize just how beautiful you are, do you?” Tears stung my eyes, I'm not sure why.

“Wh-what?” I asked.

“Gee.” He sighed, caressing my face with the back of his palm. “You really are stunning.”

“Sure.” I muttered, rolling my eyes, trying to make the water dissipate from my eyes. However the movement only made a tear leak out of the corner of my eye, due to the strange angle we sat at.

“I wouldn't lie.” Frank insisted, “You're eyes are these big hazel planets. Most of them are green with a little brown, just enough to make you wonder what color they really are...” I didn't know what to say or how to react to that, so instead I nuzzled my head into his hand and closed my eyes.

“Frank, why do you like me?” I wondered, “You could have anyone, especially you want me. Why? It doesn't make sense to me.”

“Why wouldn't I want you? I don't like anyone else, but you. You're so amazing Gerard. You're attractive, but besides that you're smart and funny and sweet. I think you see more than most people do with sight. I'm the lucky one here.”

“No you're not. I am. I never thought this would happen for me.” I admitted. Frank slipped his hand from underneath the weight of my head and I lifted my head up. Frank leaned in though, resting his forehead against mine.

“Gerard? Why do you were sunglasses all the time...besides the fact that it makes people apparently uncomfortable?” Frank asked after a moment of silence.

“Well when I first went blind I was seven. Mom tried to keep me in public school but kids teased me. Left me in tears everyday. Public school only lasted a month, then Mom got me a personal tutor; Ray. That's when I decided I wanted to wear sunglasses. They make me feel not so different.” I explained fast and shaky.

“I'm sorry.” Frank sighed. “You didn't deserve that. Kids can be cruel.” I barked out a humorless laugh.

“Yeah. But that's over now, I guess.” I tired to shrug off. Frank nuzzled his nose against mine, distracting me from any other thoughts. His warm coffee filled breath hugged my face.

“Gerard...” Frank murmured.

“Yes.” I whispered back.

“Would you let me kiss you right now?” He asked boldly. I froze, my heart instantly trying to pump out of my chest.

“Yes...but I'd be nervous.” I said slowly then rushed out the last part. Frank chuckled under his breath, nuzzle my nose again.

“Don't be nervous.” He soothed.

“I've never kissed anyone before. You have. What if I'm terrible and you get turned off by me even if you don't mean to.” I rushed out in a panic. Frank pulled back to bark out a belly laugh.

“Gerard. Gee. That could never happen. Even if you're the worst kisser in the world, I could never be turned off by you.” He insisted.

“You promise?” I sought out comfort in his reply.

“I promise.” He declared.

“Well...okay then.” I weakly agreed.

Frank didn't reply, but gently put both hands on either sides of my head, leaning in agonizingly slow. I could practically taste him. Then ever so softly, I felt his soft lips brush over mine and press in. I pressed my lips back, hesitantly, but Frank began to move his mouth against mine. I copied his actions wanting more and more. Snaking my hands into his hair, I sighed. It was gentle and sweet but slow. I never wanted it to end. I wanted to kiss Frank forever. I wanted him to swallow me whole and consume me, because I knew the moment his lips touched mine, that I would never be satisfied with anything else ever again.

I felt like my whole body was on fire while my stomach had been frozen over all at the same time. I could smell the cigarettes we had smoked earlier on him, intoxicating my brain and making me feel light-headed. Then all too soon, I felt Frank pull back and I released his hair from my grip. Frank rested his forehead against mine, his breathing off, as was mine.

“Was that good?” I asked after a moment of us catching our breath.

“Better than good.” Frank chuckled with a sigh. “ I've wanted to do that since I first saw you in the mall.”

That night was like nothing I had ever experienced in my whole entire seventeen years. I had went on a date, I had smoke a cigarette, and I had my first kiss. But most of all I felt like I was falling in love. Frank had said things to me, I had never even dreamed of hearing from another person. I was on a high like no drug could give.

Eventually Frank and I got out of the car and back into the house. The night chill had become too much at once point. Sarah and Matt were spending the night at friends houses, while Mom and David were still out on their date, so Frank just ended up spending the night. He didn't want me to be alone and I honestly didn't want him to leave.
I gave him some of my pajamas, and we slept in my bed together. Not anything sexual, though, obviously. Just a few kisses and cuddles before we let sleep take us into the next day, leaving the perfect night into the past, where both Frank and I would look back on later in life and sigh with nostalgia.

Notes

I can't sleep so I figured I'd upload the next chapter <3