Love Should Always Be Blind

My heart was pounding at a ridiculous rate. And Frank and I were only making out by that point. After we had eaten, we decided to just lay down together, which ended up in me falling asleep again. However when I woke up around seven, Frank was up too and we'd somehow managed to find ourselves with our tongues down each others throats...which is pretty much I got here. Frank lowered his lips to my neck, sucking and nipping, as I trailed my fingers down into his long soft hair. My breathing was out of control. I had done this part countless times with Frank. I guess those times, I wasn't about to have sex with him though. Pulling himself up, Frank hovered his lips over my ear, causing me to shiver.

“Relax.” He said in a low rough voice, his breath fanning my neck. I shivered again, more forcefully that time. Taking in a deep breath, I willed my self to settle down.

“There you go.” He cooed, then nibbling at the ear lob. Letting out an embarrassing moan, I felt myself harden more and more.

Frank reattached our lips for a moment, while letting his fingers wonder to the hem of my shirt. Having to break the seal of our lips a moment, Frankie gently tugged off my tee-shirt, but didn't stop there. Digging his fingers into the waist band of my jeans, he then as well started pulling those off too. Lifting my hips in assistance, I was cold for a moment once they were gone, before Frank lowered his body back onto mine. Soon his warmth enveloped me. I wrapped my hands over and under his shirt to place on his toned back. Frank sighed softly, kissing down my chest. Taking one of my nipples into his mouth, he tenderly sucked, making me whine and groan quietly. Digging the nub of my nails into his skin, I scratched them down his back. Frank moaned louder than before the sound vibrating against my skin.

“Frankie.” I mewed, tugging his shirt off. Feeling around, I placed the palms of my hands down his chest. So much more cut than mine. Frank was strong and muscular. I could feel the dips and curves of his defined abs. While I was just skinny and flat. I hummed, enjoying the feeling of his skin under me. I relished those moments when I could just feel Frank, since I couldn't see him. In those moments I could see him with my fingers though. With my sense of touch. Moving my fingers down his torso I moved to his broad shoulders, to his lean biceps, forearm, then his wrist. Pausing a moment, I felt a unique texture. Raised lines of flesh...like scar tissue? How had I never noticed this before? Gently I stroked my fingers back and forth feeling countless raised lines. Frank tensed.

“Frankie?” I whispered barely loud enough to hear.

“Yeah?” Frank choked back in a whisper

“Are these what I think they are?” I asked, continuing to move my fingertips, trying to make the gesture as loving as possible. Frank was silent a moment.

“Yes.” He finally sighed, sounding ashamed. As a silent reply I brought his wrist to my lips, brushing soft kisses against the healed cuts. It made my heart ache just thinking about Frank doing such a thing to himself. He was such a beautiful person, so wonderful. He didn't deserve it. No one did.

“Why haven't you ever told me?” I pressed, drawing my eyebrows together, pressing the inside of his hand to my face.

“Because I was ashamed.” He confessed, caressing my cheek.

“I don't want you to ever be ashamed about anything. I want to know everything. Good and bad. I won't judge you baby. I love you.” I promised, my voice trembling with love for him. “Why would you ever do such a thing to yourself baby?”

“It's been a long time since I have. It was when I broke up with Bob and my Dad was dating Lisa.” He said, “I stopped a few months before I met you.” We were silent a moment, just absorbing each other. I could feel Frank's eyes bore into my skin, causing it to prickle.

“I love you.” I murmured a second time. I could feel Frank lean forward from where he had leaned back onto his thighs in order to let me touch him.

“I love you too. So so much.” He whispered, then places a soft gentle kiss onto my lips. Deeper and deeper the kiss grew, tongue being brought into the equation. Soon we couldn't breath, only breathing each other in, instead of air. Pulling back, Frank continued to kiss down my chest, stomach, and navel. I was shaking with anticipation by the time Frankie tugged my boxers off. Cool air washed over me, but almost immediately I felt Frank hot breath over my body. Kissing each hip of mine, I groaned softly, and buried my fingers into his hair.

“So beautiful.” Frank whispered into the pores of my skin, as if forcing me to believe the words he spoke. I couldn't help but blush. Coming back up, Frank kissed my neck. Grinding his hips into mine, I moaned loudly the sound vibrating off the walls. It was pleasurable but painful at the same time. Frank still had his jeans on, and the denim against my bare sensitive skin, didn't feel too good. Raking my hands down, I tugged at the loop holes of his pants.

“Take 'em off.” I begged. I could feel Frankie smirk against my neck. Without a word, he sat up from where he straddled my legs, awkwardly taking off the difficult article of clothing. Once it was gone, though it was gone. And when Frank came back, picking up where he'd stopped; it felt much more pleasing. I pushed back, thrusting up and soon we were both panting.

“Frankie. Please.” I murmured.

“Okay.” Was all he replied with, knowing what I needed without words. Gently he kissed my lips, lingering and passionate, yet lowered himself down and spread my legs.

“Are you sure, baby?” He asked, before even touching me. I nodded.

“Yes, I'm sure.” and with that he ducked down, kissing my inner thighs. I moaned lowly from the back of my throat. Closer and closer he kissed, until he reached my leaking dick. Licking up the pre-cum, Frank kissed the tip but did nothing more. Instead I heard him reach over to the nightstand, grabbing something. Once I heard a cap opening, however, I knew that it was lube. Then there was a strange sound. But when I felt one finger caress my entrance; cold and wet I figured it must have been Frank coating his fingers. I whined and mewed helplessly. We'd done even this part before. But never past this point. I was trembling. Before I could beg, though, Frank plunged his finger in. I yelped out in pleasure. I was used to having Frank's fingers in me. Not too long after he had all three in, while I rocked in time with his thrusting.

“You're so fucking hot.” Frank moaned, making me moan back. When he pulled his fingers out, I was expecting him to crawl back up into my face. But instead I felt a different warm wetness at my hole. It didn't take me but a few seconds to realize Frank was tonguing me. I moaned like a whore at the new sensation. Lapping around me, I began to squirm uncontrollably.

“P-please.” I stammered, pulling at his hair “I need you.”

“Uh.” Frank panted, removing his face, and sitting back up “Do you want to use a condom. I mean I'm clean, but I under-”

“No.” I cut him off, knowing where he was going with that. “No, I just want to feel you.”

“Oh, God.” Frank moaned loudly, “You have no idea what you saying that, does to me.” and before I could reply, Frank slammed his mouth onto mine, kissing me sloppily. All teeth and saliva and tongue. Reaching down, Frank spread me wider, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“You're sure?” He asked one last time before he started. I smiled at how cautious he was being. I knew he really care.

“Yes.” I breathed, “I trust you. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Frank replied, an eminent smile in his voice. And the next thing I knew, I felt Frank's tip at my entrance. Slowly Frank pushed in. At first it didn't hurt, but once he got passed the tip I hissed in pain.

“Do you want to stop?” Frank worried.

“N-no. D-don't stop. Just keep going.” My voice wobbled from nerves and pain. Frank I could feel nodded and continued, ever so carefully pushing in. I bit my lip, until he was all the way in, filling me up completely. Frank made a grunted noise, trying not to moan to my discomfort, while his arms braced himself at my head. I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding. For a moment we just stayed in that position, Frank letting me get used to his size. Not too long after, the pain did ebb and pleasure washed over my senses.

“Move, p-please.” I suggested. Frank complied thrusting in and out slowly as I clung to his shoulders. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I was losing my virginity to the person I loved dearly and who loved me back dearly too. I was so overwhelmed I felt like I could cry. Soon the slow thrusting wasn't enough, as I was becoming more and more accustomed to the sensation.

“Uh-uh F-Frank. H-harder!” I panted tilting my head back. Again Frank granted me my wish, slamming harder and harder into me, but I loved it. Soon the sounds in the room was just skin hitting skin, the smacking of the headboard into the wall, and our moaning and panting. Reaching up, I grabbed the sides of Franks head, placing our foreheads together. Panting into each others faces, I suddenly screamed out in pleasure.

“Oh, God Frank!” I howled, “There! Right there!”

“Here?” He smirked, hitting me right on my prostate. I groaned filthily in reply.

“Yes! God, yes! There! Uh!” I went on, feeling pleasure coursing through my body, making my toes curl. I was getting close. I knew I wouldn't last much longer. That familiar burning ball of tightness was forming rapidly in my stomach, ready to explode.

“Touch me. Please, Frankie.” I begged. Reaching down between us, I felt Frank grip my leaking dick. Pumping me in rhythm of his hard, fast thrusting I came in about three strokes. Throwing my head back, mouth open, and face contorted from pleasure, I felt my hot ropes of cum lace over Franks hand and my stomach. Frank came moments after me, allowing us to ride out our orgasms together.

My heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Panting; both of us panting, I struggled to regulate my breathing. I felt so completely overwhelmed. I felt like I might burst from the pressure I felt in my chest and head and heart. Without knowing it, I felt a tear leak over and down my cheek.

Frank then pulled out to lay beside me. Once he'd caught his breath, he rolled over onto his side to face me. By then many tears had leaked over.

“Oh my God! Gerard!” Frank cried in concern, his hands frantically roaming around my body

“What's wrong? Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I-”

“Frank, Frank!” I laughed my voice shaking, “Nothing's wrong. I-I'm just overwhelmed. With a good feeling... I can't describe it.” I tried to explain, reaching up a hand to caress his cheek.

“You didn't do anything wrong. It was perfect.” I sniveled, more tears welling up. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Frank, not knowing what to say, buried his face into the crook of my neck, holding me tight.

“I love you so much, it hurts.” I started to sob. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” I chanted.

“I love you too.” Frank whispered tenderly, stroking my hair. Before too long, my tears did let up. I relaxed into Frank, feeling drained, while he traced patterns into my skin, murmuring sweet nothings into my ears. I hummed in content.

“I love you,” I whispered one last time, before I fell asleep in the comfort of Frankie's strong, caring arms.

*****

I woke up in a lazy contented fog. I could feel strong arms wrapped around my middle, while my face was resting comfortably on their chest. Frankie. I sighed. He smelled wonderful, as I nuzzled my face against his bare skin. Warm and soft.

“Hey, there sleepy head.” Frank's rough voice broke through the silence.

“How'd you know I was up? I haven't even opened my eyes.” I mumbled into his skin. Frank chuckled softly, petting my messy hair, twirling a few locks around.

“I can tell by now without you opening them. But you should.” He teased, nudging my shoulder. I frowned slightly.

“Why? It makes no difference.” I pointed out stubbornly.

“But it does. Then I can see those pretty eyes.” He coaxed, moving his fingers from my hair to stroke my cheek bone. I couldn't help but feel my lips curve upward and giggle.

“You're so cheesy.” I grinned, but lifted my head and opened my eyes to the same familiar darkness. Frank's fingertips drifted to the underside of my eyes. I hummed in response.

“You love it.” He chuckled, leaning forward to peck my lips. “So how are you feeling?” I stretched at the thoughts, stiffening then relaxing my joints with a loud exhalation.

“Sore. Tired. But good, nonetheless.” I grinned cheekily, snuggling back into Franks bare chest.

“Are you hungry?” He wondered, tracing light patterns on my back.

“Hmm. Yeah, actually.” I murmured. “What time is it by the way?”

“A little past nine. You slept for about an hour.” Frank answered calmly, “Do you want Chinese food? I know a great place that's open 24 hours. Even on Christmas eve. And they delver.”

“Sounds perfect.” I grinned widely.

“You want what you usually get? Orange chicken and chow mien?” He wondered, while digging around the sheets for his cell phone.

“You know me so well.” I smirked, lifting a hand to place on where it may lay. Which was his back. Frank must have found his phone, as I heard clicking of buttons and then someone answer on the other end. He ordered chow mien and steamed broccoli for himself, my order, an egg roll for me and a spring roll for him. After a short conversation Frank hung up.

“Said they should be here in about a half hour.” He informed me. I nodded with a hum.

“Sex and Chinese food. What a deal.” I joked lightly, lying on my back, finger nails roaming along Frank's spine. Frank chuckled, leaning back down on his side, my hand falling to his waist. I could feel his breathing on my face.

“About that...” He began softly, but I still ended up tensing anyway.

“What?” I whispered, worried I had done or said something wrong.

“I just...was it okay? Did I hurt you?” He pressed, fear in his voice.

“Why would you think that?” I asked, knitting my eyebrows together. Frank sighed, then reached out a warm hand to caress my cheek.

“I've just...I never...when I saw you crying you scared the shit out of me Gee baby.” Frank confessed with a long sigh. I sighed too in response, while placing my hand over his.

“I'm sorry.” My voice choked out. I suddenly felt increasingly stupid for crying. “I shouldn't have gotten so wrapped up...It was stupid of me.”

“No Gee! God, no!” Frank shouted, taking both my hands into his lap. “I don't mean it that way honey.”

“Then how do you mean it?” My voice wobbled

“I'm just worried why you where crying. Was it because I hurt you? And don't lie! Were you disappointed?” He wondered harshly.

“No, not at all. You didn't do any of that. I promise. It was great.” I confessed shyly, ducking my head down. “Frankie I was crying because...I-I don't know...because I was overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed?” Frank repeated sounding unsure.

“Yeah” I laughed dryly. “I was overwhelmed by what I was feeling. How much I felt loved and happy.” I explained. “I've never felt that before and I didn't know how to deal with it. It wasn't a bad feeling either. It was the best feeling ever...You're not mad at me are you? Or freaked out?”

“Oh Gee.” Frank cooed, wrapping me up into his arms. “I thought it was because I hurt you. I thought I'd ruined everything. I would never be mad at you for expressing your feelings. Never baby. I swear I just thought I did something wrong.” I nuzzled my face into his chest, warm and soft.

“You were perfect, Frankie. Absolutely perfect.” I mumbled. “I just get overwhelmed sometimes...when I feel something strong or new...or both.”

“That's okay, Gerard, really.” He assured.

“But it's embarrassing.” I admitted sourly. “I always freak people out.”

“No, Gee.” Frank insisted, stroking my hair “You didn't freak me out like that. Cry whenever you want to cry. Crying doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. It's just another way for humans to express their feelings. If you cry because you're happy sometimes that's the best way to show it.”

“Really?” I sniffled, tilting my head up.

“Really.” Frank repeated in reassurance, stroking my cheek bone.

“It's just...being blind...my other senses are so much stronger, y'know? Like every touch is so much more softer and intense and every noise is so much sweeter. It's so overwhelming. Sometimes everything is just so beautiful I feel like I'm going to collapse. Even if I can't see how beautiful it is, I can feel it.” I tried to explain, my mouth moving languidly against Frank's skin. Frank continued to stroke my face, hair, and back.

“I know.” Was all he replied, but it was enough. I sighed, lifting myself up onto my elbow to give Frank a peck. For a while after that we merely lay there together, tangled up in each other sharing slow soft kisses and gentle touches. Not long after there was a ring of the doorbell at the front door. Frank got up and threw underwear and a shirt on and ran downstairs. While he was gone, I got up off the bed searching the room for my own underwear and shirt. Within about ten minutes, once I got back in bed, I heard the bedroom door open and an immediate aroma of Chinese food follow Frank.

“Hey! How come you're not naked?” Frank cried playfully. I giggled.

“I don't want to be naked if you're not.” I rebuttaled. Frank sighed dramatically, flopping himself down on the bed beside me.

“I like you better naked.” He went on, while I could hear him unwrapping a plastic bag, in order to take out the Styrofoam boxes of our food.

“Well then you might just have to undress me again.” I teased cheekily.

“I guess so.” He laughed, handing me my food.

“God I'm starving.” I moaned, once shoveling orange chicken into my mouth.

“Sex takes a lot out of you, huh?” Frank commented so nonchalantly it made me laugh.

“Yeah it does.” I chuckled. For some reason the talk of nakedness sparked a thought within me. Something I hadn't really thought of since I'd first met Frank.

“Hey Frankie?” I began around a mouth of chow mien.

“Hmm?” Frank grunted.

“How many tattoos do you have?” I wondered. Frank I could hear, paused eating.

“How'd you know I have tattoos?” He asked confused.

“Because Sarah told me you had a scorpion tattoo on your neck when we first met.” I giggled.

“I do.” Was all he gave me. I sighed exasperated.

“On which side?” I pressed further.

“On my right side.” He answered. Why was he giving me short answers?

“Well do you have any others?” I dug. Frank sighed. “What? Why haven't you told me more about this?”

“Because!” Frank rose his voice, making me jump. “I'm sorry.” He exhaled, “I just don't see the point.” I furrowed my eyebrows sharply.

“Why? Because I can't see them!?” I yelled.

“No!” Frank sighed heavily, taking my free hand I wasn't eating with. “I...It's just...It's just another reminder that you can't see what I look like- and not that that's your fault...I just. I guess I didn't want to make you feel bad.” He confessed. I was silent, listening to him breathing.

“Frank.” I spoke sternly wanting to get my point across, “I want to know everything, and I mean everything I can about what you look like. I dream about it. I yearn for it. I want to have you down to every line and freckle. So please. Please, don't hide things from me.” I begged. Frank sighed for the hundredth time that night.

“Okay. Alright, I will.” He agreed, shifting in and pecking my cheek affectionately. I sighed myself, leaning into the touch.

“Thanks you...So tell me. Do you have any more?” I asked, beginning to eat again, as I stopped during our slight argument.

“I do. Lots actually.” He replied.

While eating our late dinner, Frank and I cuddled together, quietly enjoying the takeout as well as each others gentle company. Frankie also indulged me, telling me all about his tattoos and their stories. How he has the words Halloween on his knuckles and bookworm on his fingers. The letters NJ on his bottom lip. And to think I'd kissed those lips hundreds of times and never knew...The phrase 'Search and Destroy' with two doves in between that goes all around his waist and two guns on his lower back. There was lots more, but those were my favorites.
Once we had finished eating and talking, Frank got his laptop out and put on a movie for us to watch. Some classic Christmas movie to get into the spirit. I think it was It's a Wonderful Life. About twenty minutes into the movie, with my head against Frank's chest I began to feel sleepy. His rhythmic heat beating under my ears was like a lullaby.

“Hey, Gee?” Frank asked in a whisper, probably trying not to wake me if I had already fallen asleep.

“Hmm?” I hummed back lazily.

“I'm sorry about last night.” He admitted shyly.

“Why?” I asked, becoming more alert.

“I was a complete dick to you and I feel terrible.” He went on, twiddling with the fabric on my tee-shirt nervously.

“Frankie, I though we agreed we both were being ridiculous. I'm not mad.” I tried to reason.

“I know...you never get mad, Gee. I just...I was jealous.” He mumbled. That definitely caught my attention, as my eyebrows nit together.

“Jealous? How come?” I wondered, tilting my head up to face his. Frank sighed deeply.

“Because Tim's stupid dare for you to kiss Sophie.” He admitted

“Oh, Frankie! It was just a stupid dare, like you said. It meant absolutely nothing.” I tried to comfort logically.

“I know...but you didn't like...feel anything? Did you? You can be honest.” Frank whispered dejectedly, rubbing my arms. I sighed sadly.

“No.” I said firmly, “Not one thing. I love you, Frank. No one else. I might as well have been kissing a wall. Not being rude to Sophie, but she wasn't you. Honestly all I could think about was you. I didn't feel my stomach drop or my heart flutter or my hands shake. Not like when I'm with you.” I explained, while Frank listened intently, laughing here and there, but sighing at the end nonetheless.

“I'm sorry Gee. I'm just a jealous person I guess. I hated seeing someone kiss you that wasn't me. I get insecure.” He reveled.

“Insecure?” I repeated dumbfounded.

“Yeah.” Frank admitted softly.

“Why? You have nothing to be insecure about.” I promised.

“But what if you realize you love someone else...”

“Frank. No. That's impossible.” I vowed. “I love you. You...You...You.” I repeated, kissing around Frank's face after each word to reiterate it. Frank giggled.

“You're too good for me, Gerard.” Frank beamed. I nuzzled my face into his neck.

“I could say the same about you.” I laughed. Frank then, lifted his finger under my chin in order to lift my face up to his. Without hesitation he planted his lips to mine, kissing me slowly yet passionately. Humming into the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his neck. Tearing away myself unwillingly, I leaned down placing my lips at Frank's ear

“You said something earlier about getting me undressed again?...” I breathed, causing Frank to shiver pleasantly.

“I did, didn't I?” He chuckled unevenly, while diving back in to reconnect our mouths.

Notes

I worry that I may have tried to cram too much serious conversations into one chapter. And sorry if the smut sucks. I've never written before, only read. Hope you enjoy. I love feed back! Hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving too if I don't update again before then! :) xoxo