Falling For You

Blaze POV

"I hate you!" Screamed Gerard.

"I'm sorry, Gerard! I'm sorry!" I screamed back tears in my eyes.

"You fucking cut yourself you emo! Fuck you Blaze," Gerard said and left the room.

I started to cry. I then grabbed a razor blade and cut my arms and thighs. I started to bleed a lot. Soon darkness was pulling me. I'm dying.

"Blaze, Blaze, wake up!" I hear a voice say followed by a shake.

"Blaze, Blaze, wake the fuck up!" Gerard said.

"Hmm," I said opening my eyes.

I noticed Gerard was on top of me. Why the fuck is he on top of me? I tried to move and I can't fucking move!

"Why can't I move!" I said and saw Gerard's nose was bleeding.

What the fuck happened?!

"You can't move because I'm pinning you down!" Gerard said.

"Why are you pinning me down!?" I said.

"Because you fell asleep, then started to talk and kick and scream in your sleep! Then you punched me on the nose and started to scratch me!!" Gerard said.

"Sorry," I said.

He got off of me and I sat up.

"It's fine, you're just having a nightmare." Gerard said.

"Here, let's clean your bloody nose." I said and guide Gerard to the bathroom.

"Clean the dried blood off." I said and grabbed the AID kit.

I felt bad for hitting the person I love. Like really, I feel awful!

"I feel awful for hitting you." I said grabbing a cotton ball and started cleaning his nose.

"It's okay, you couldn't help it." He said.

"No it's not. Where else did I hit you?" I asked.

"Nowhere," he said.

"Lift up your bangs," I said.

"No."

"Gerard."

"Fine."

He lift up his bangs. There was scratch marks, they're bleeding.

"Damn! I'm pretty violent in my sleep." I said grabbing rubbing alcohol and put it on a towel.

"Yeah you can," he said.

I put the towel on his forehead. Gerard bites his lip so hard, I swear it might start bleeding.

"Gerard! Don't do that! Here," I handed him another towel, "bite on this instead of your lip."

"Okay."

I cleaned his forehead. I knew he was looking at me, I can feel it. I felt a blush coming.

I consecrated on his forehead, but I can't fucking do that because one, I'm fucking shorter than him, two, his eyes.

As I put the towel down, I looked in his eyes. He held my gaze for a moment before a blinked and turned to the sink.

Does he like me?

Why would he like you bitch! You're a fat ass and ugly, no one will love you!

Shut up conscious!

"Blaze?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow then," Gerard said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," I said quietly.

Gerard came up and hugged me. I wish it lasted longer, but he had to go.

After Gerard left, I was the only one home. I threw away the box and went to the bathroom and locked the door.

I sat next to the bathtub and started to cry. Who ever said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.' is a fucking liar!

Words hurt a lot my friend! I can handle sticks and stones but not fucking words!

I get call 'emo dyke' all the time. I fucking hate high school! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

I went to my room and grabbed my blade that is hidden in my closet under some old quilts.

I go back to the bathroom and take off my many bracelets that hid my scars.

I take the blade and tear my skin on my forearm. I love the feeling, the way it numbed you. I saw the blood leave the inside of me and sat on my skin then dripped to the sink.

I turn on the faucet and watch as the water and the blood mix, making the water pink, then disappear to the drain.

I closed the faucet and went to the toilet and stick my finger down my throat and vomited what I ate. This was my first time doing this. As I finish vomiting the pizza and then flush the toilet and sat next to it, clutching my stomach.

I am too weak. Why the hell am I still here. No one loves me. I knew the dream or nightmare had scared me. If I was too weak the handle the dream, maybe I'm really fucking weak to live.

No, you can't kill yourself, Blaze. Think at how sad Gerard is going to be when he finds out his best friend committed suicide.

Ha! As if. He doesn't even like you, Blaze. Why the hell would he like you!?

SHUT UP!!!!

Hahahaha!

With me being piss at myself, I cut again. But these were deeper than usual.

"Ouch! Fuck I really did cut deep this time!" I said to myself.

I quickly grabbed some bandages and wrapped it around my arm. They quickly stain red, I knew I had to change them about every hour or so. Why am I such a fuck-up?

I sighed and lay on my bed. As I lay there, I hear I got a text from someone. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. Hell, I didn't even want to change out of my school uniform.

Yes we wear uniforms. Some days, we have dress down days or if you won the drawing that they have every Friday, you get to dress down on Monday. I won about seven times so far, each time I'll wear a band shirt.

"I'm home!" My sister, Jennifer said. She's popular, she's pretty, she's beautiful. Jennifer had all the things I didn't have. She and her friends usually made fun of me. No one knew what I do to myself.

"We're home!" I heard my brother, Carlos said. He's a swag idiot. Girls fall for him. I have no idea why, he's a real jerk!

"Hey, bro, do you have pizza?" Said his stupid friend name Jake.

"I'm here!" I yelled from my room then heard footsteps heading to my room.

"Well, well, well. Hello little emo dyke of the family," Jake said.

"Get the fuck out of my room Jake!" I yelled.

"No bitch! Why the hell would I listen to you? You're Satanic, emo!" Jake said.

"Just because I like metal, rock, and punk doesn't mean I'm fucking Satanic! At least I'm not blind like you, Swaggot!" I said.

"What the hell did you just call me, emo bitch!" Jake said pinning me to the wall.

"Swaggot!"

"What's that?!" Jake said. Is he really stupid.

"Swag and faggot combine dumbass!" I yelled.

He then punched my stomatch and let me fall to the ground. Then, he kicked me.

"Yo! Jake! Don't hit her! She'll tell on Mom and Dad!" Carlos said.

I caughted and tried to get up, but then someone grabs my arms. Shit!

"What happen to your arm, emo?" My own fucking brother said.

"I have a name you know," I said.

"What happen to your arm, Blaze," Carlos said.

"Like you fucking care." I said and storm out of my room.

"Hey, Blaze," Jennifer said.

I just kept marching to the door and left my home.

I walked down a empty street. It was dark now and the only light here was the post lights. As I walked, I saw a teenage boy from my school walking too. He then looked at me and started coming my direction. Fuck! I still had on my uniform.

I started to panic, this was a bad idea...

"Hey emo," said the guy. Fuck he was a jock!

:"Leave me alone," I said sounding tough.

"No." The jock said and grabbed my wrist. I quickly search for my phone, but I realized I left it back home. I'm so fucked.

"Let me go!" I said as the jock dragged me to an ally. I was going to get raped!

"No emo," The jock said and pin me to the wall and started to touch me.

"Help! Leave me alone!" I screamed.

He started to kiss me on my neck and started to lift up my skirt. I kicked him and started to make a run before he grabbed my hair and pulled me back.

"You're not going away, emo!" He said and unbutton my shirt. I had on three shirts, my spaghetti top, a plain black shirt, and my school uniform shirt.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled again.

His hand went down to my leg and started to touch me. I started to shake because this guy was raping me!

"Hey idiot!" I heard someone say and throw a rock at the jock. "Leave the lady alone!" I turn my head to see who was my hero. It was Gerard!

I fell to the cement floor, I was shaken so badly.

"Blaze!" Gerard said as he ran up to me.

"Get the fuck out of my way faggot! She's mine, I saw her first." The jock said to Gerard.

"Women aren't properties you asshole!" Gerard said and punched the jock. The jock fell to the floor.

"Let me take you to my place, Blaze," Gerard said as he button my shirt and gave me his jacket. He then picked me up and carry me bridal style.

I couldn't talk. I was still shaken from what happen. I then fell asleep on Gerard's arms.

"Don't worry Blaze, I'm going to help you," is what Gerard said before I went to sleep.