Just Think Happy Thoughts

After Frank and I had reconciled on Christmas, he headed back to Gerard's to “talk” to Jamia about the situation. He told me that Jamia had denied it all, but it didn’t matter because we had already figured it out and knew it was her who fucked things up between us. He said she’d made that face she did when she was lying, he knew that face, because he’s seen it so many times before. So he kicked her out. I was happy that she was out of the picture, but of course there was still Matt. So I hadn't gone back with Frank, but he did come back for a bit later and he met Jade and Aden. Jade was impressed, maybe too impressed, and Aden well, I'm not sure. He seemed a bit indifferent.

It was the day after Christmas and Jade, Aden and I were kicking back in the living room, listening to some Ashes to Ashes. Aden was in the kitchen getting us some coffee, leaving Jade to pester me about Frank last night.

“Man he was so hot Kai. I wanted to jump his bones. Not that I was going to or anything, I know he’s your man but-”

“Hold on, hold on. Jade, first of all, he’s not my man. Second of all, jump his bones? You barely know the guy” I protested. I knew she didn’t really mean it, but sometimes she really needed to think before she spoke.

“I know he’s fucking hot” she stated. I sighed, trying to ignore her word vomit.

“Yeah yeah. He’s hot, but that’s not all there is to him. He’s so much more than that” I explained. “He’s such a great person. So honest and trustworthy. Fun-loving. When he cares about something he really cares. He’s so passionate about his music.”

“Wow Kai, sounds like you’re in love with the guy” Jade said with a giggle. That’s when Aden returned with the coffee, a questioning look on his face. “Frank.” He scoffed and handed us our coffees.

“Well, uh, I don’t know about that. I mean I really like him but” I started to say but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Speak of the devil” Jade said, peering out the window. “Your man has arrived.”

“Jade would you stop saying that?” I asked, going over to the door to open it, none other than Frank looking back at me with his usual childish grin spread across his face.

“Hey Kai! Listen if you don’t mind, I brought some friends” he said. I looked over his shoulder to see Gerard and Mikey standing there. They smiled and waved at me.

“Come in” I said to them. Gerard and Mikey pulled me into a big bear hug before walking into the living room and introducing themselves to Jade and Aden. Jade greeted them with her dazzling smile and peppy attitude, while Aden greeted them pretty much the opposite: very unenthusiastically. I gave him a ‘what’s wrong’ look but he just averted his eyes away from me.

“Glad we could all finally meet” Gerard said to them, cheerfully. “And Kai, I’m glad we’re okay again. We are… okay?” I shook my head yes, which earned me another big hug from him.

“We’re good guys. I’m sorry for everything. I should have gotten the whole story before I just shut you guys out” I apologized.

“Hey it was just a bump in the road. We should have known Jamia would pull something like that. But seriously, glad to have you back” Mikey said, smiling and pushing his glasses up as he always did.

“We missed you Kai, like really missed you” Gerard stated, then looked back and forth between me and my coffee.

“Missed me so much you want to steal my coffee” I noted, then laughed and handed it to him, his eyes going wide in awe and a smile plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes at his frivolous addiction.

We lounged on the couches, me sitting next to Frank, of course, and ended up turning on a movie and not even watching it, getting lost in conversation for a while. At some point Aden had slipped away but I didn’t even notice until Jade brought it up.

“Hey, I’m gonna go see what Aden’s up to. He’s been gone for a while now” she told me and then went upstairs to where she had seen him disappear to a few moments prior.

“What was with him anyway. I know he’s like your best friend, but… Even yesterday when I met him, he wasn’t exactly friendly” Frank mentioned. I shrugged, not knowing myself what was up with him. Jade was coming back downstairs, disappointment in her eyes.

“He’s being a jerk” she said, taking a seat next to me on the arm of the couch.

“I’ll go talk to him” I said, getting up and walking upstairs and into my room. I found him sitting at the edge of the bed, headphones in his ears, his iPod in his hand. He didn’t seem to notice me plopping a seat right next to him until I tapped him on the shoulder. He looked at me, smiled, and took his headphones off. I looked at him confused. “You’re being weird.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Well, one minute you’re pissed off, and now you’re smiling at me” I pointed out. A moment of silence followed by a sigh from him.

“I didn’t come here to watch you fawn over another guy” he finally said.

“What? Is this about Frank? He’s a good guy. I told you it was a misunderstanding. You don’t have to be so overprotective Aden” I assured him. He sighed again, resting his face in the palm of his hand.

“I don’t think you understand” he said, his eyes fixed to the floor.

“Okay Aden, then make me understand” I demanded. His eyes shifted from the floor to my eyes. He stared at me, his usual playful and flirty demeanor, replaced with something more… serious.
Before I knew it, he was inches away from my face. His hand cupped my cheek and he pressed his lips to mine. My eyes widened as I sat there, still, letting him kiss me, not knowing if I should kiss back or pull away. My heart was pounding and my head racing with thoughts, mostly negative ones. I wasn’t sure what this meant, for us, for him. He pulled away, smiling.

“Now you understand?” he asked me. I gave him the same puzzled look as before and shook my head ‘no’. He sighed for the third time. “Really? That oblivious, are you?” I sat there quiet, not knowing how to respond. “It’s just something else about you that I love.” He stared at me, waiting for something, some kind of reaction or response. Nothing. “Man, I really have to spell it out for you.” I shifted nervously on the bed, my eyes still fixed on him, his eyes still fixed on me. “I’m in love with you, Kairi.” I took in a deep breathe and held it as I realized his words. More silence. I breathed out. “Well are you going to say something or not?”

“I… I…” I stuttered, thinking of something to say, but failing. I was too shocked by his words and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“You know what. Never mind” he said, and then shot up and walked out the door. I stayed there, still lost in my thoughts. I brushed my index finger along my lips. All of those times Aden had flirted with me, all of those times Aden had hugged me, all of those times Aden had cuddled with me, did it mean so much more than that? He was always trying to cheer me up and I was upset. He was always there for me. I was oblivious, he was right. It wasn’t just friendship, after all. I got up and went after him.

“Aden wait!” I shouted, running downstairs. Everyone else was staring at me, concerned. Aden wasn’t there. “Well where did he go?”

“I think he went out to the backyard” Jade replied. “What happened?”

“Oh uh, nothing, nothing” I said, nervously. She clearly knew I was lying. I slipped on my boots and grabbed a nearby black coat, putting it on, not caring who’s coat it was, and walking towards the back. “Be right back.”

“Hey Aden” I called, walking towards him. He turned to look at me and then turned back. I walked in front of him and looked at him. He averted his eyes from me. “I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t know what to say. You’re my best friend and this is well, it’s kind of weird for me and-“

“Weird? Yeah well it’s not like I asked for this it kind of just happened okay. Ever since that first time we kissed I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I can’t get you out of my mind” he confessed. I gasped at his revelations.

“Aden that kiss was like two years ago” I said. It wasn’t a serious kiss. Actually, it was kind of stupid now that I think back to it. It was the summer before our first year of high school. Jade and I were worried we would never get boyfriends, especially because we never even kissed a boy yet. That’s when Aden said he’d kiss both of us so we could get it over with. He was joking, but we decided to do it anyway.

“Yeah so?” he replied, nonchalantly.

“So this whole time-“

“I’ve been in love with you? Yeah. I’ve dropped hints so many times. I put myself completely out there. You really are oblivious” he said, a small smile forming on his face.

“What about Jade?” I asked him.

“What about her?” he asked, a look of confusion on his face.

“You kissed her too” I told him. Another sigh from him.

“I kissed her, I felt nothing. I kissed you, I felt things I never even knew I could feel. Do you want me to keep saying it or something? Is this amusing you?” he asked, clearly annoyed.

“No, no! I’m sorry I just… I don’t know what to say… or do. I love you Aden I do, I just don’t know if it’s the same way that you love me” I admitted. “Can you just give me some time to think about it?”

“Then does that mean there’s… hope?” he asked, his blue eyes illuminating.

“There’s hope” I assured him with a smile. I didn’t know if that was true or if I was lying. I knew I was already in love with Frank, but I couldn’t tell him that. Maybe I loved him too, or I wanted to. I just wanted to make everyone happy, an impractical task.

“That’s enough for me” he smiled and hugged me. I sighed in relief. “Let’s go back inside.” We made our way into the house, everyone else still waiting for us. Jade pulled me aside as soon as I got in.

“So what was that all about?” she asked, quietly. She stared into my eyes, her amber one’s flickering with curiosity. “Man it’s almost as if he confessed his undying love for you, the way you look right now.” She let out a laugh.

“Um…” is all I could manage to say.

“Holy shit. He did. Didn’t he?” she questioned, still keeping her volume low. The answer was already written all over my face. “Well, what happened?”

“Let’s not talk about this here. Later.”

“Nice coat, Kai” I heard Frank say from his spot on the couch. I looked down at the coat I was wearing, now realizing it must have been Frank’s since it was so small and it almost fit me. I blushed and took it off along with my boots. “I saved your seat next to me! Come on! The next movie’s starting!” Frank patted the spot next to him on the couch. I glanced over at Aden, sitting alone on the couch nearest to the front door. His appearance was disgruntled and he turned to avoid my gaze. I sighed and turned back to Jade.

“Listen, don’t tell a soul about this okay?” I pleaded to her.

“Hey my lips” she said and made a gesture as though she was zipping her lips shut “are sealed.” I could only hope that were true.

I walked passed Frank, deciding not to take the seat he offered me, watching his face drop as I walked by. I didn’t sit next to Aden either. I sat in the recliner, by myself, not wanting to disappoint anyone. I wanted to make everyone happy, but it seemed I was doing the opposite.

Notes

Hey guys! More Frank next chapter, I promise! :3 - Cici