Necrophilia

I ask myself why I have chosen to illustrate the outline of a cross, rather than to draw a homely corpse. I am usually not like this, and I refuse to allow my hands to ruin the surface of the somber slip of grey parchment. The wind howls a rusty tune, as a response of terror I sink underneath the velvet covers of my bed. My eyes sparkle at the marvel from behind the window, where droplets of water drip from the roof of this home. The sound echoed when the droplets fell to the floor, playing an untold symphony.

Thunder erupts. I rise from the mattress, seating myself to the glass, my nose touching the cold surface only slightly before I rub the feeling from it. The raven perched atop of the old wooden sign caws wildly, his dark blue feathers glistening in the storm. Below it, on the earth's ground, lay a small rabbit, white and pure. Its nose nudged at the grass.

The rabbit, a perfect target was below the raven.

Whispers from previous memories replay loudly in my mind. It hurts. Painful words from various voices spill unto me. I feel ashamed. I feel unloved.

The raven tilts his head, as if listening, and sends his beak flying to the small creature. I refuse to watch more and place a large original painting in front of the frightening act of nature. And yet, I do not feel sadness.

I laugh hysterically, the thoughts of death in my mind are beautiful. Death is a salvation, where one can rejoice and smile, where loneliness is nonexistent. The mammal has had a wonderful journey in its way through life, and would have a magnificent life within death. In more ways than one, I wish I had suffered the same fate, for death is but a beautiful thing.

My head rests along the frame of the bed as I patiently wait for the storm to pass. I have plans tomorrow morning to visit the city in cloak and dagger. It has been years that I haven't left this home. And although I haven't met any living citizens in years, I have practiced plenty with the dead ones.

Notes

this idea has been burning in my mind lately ^^ should I continue?

**I will mention that Gerard is not a killer, he just has dead people for a reason that I will write later in the story**