Kill This Venom From My Heart

By the time we get back to Gerard's house it's starting to get dark and when we step inside Donna comes out of the kitchen and frowns slightly as she says "We thought you weren't coming back." Gerard opens his mouth but I quickly speak, cutting him off. "I'm sorry Mrs Way, we sort of lost track of time." Her frown turns to a smile as she says "That's alright Frank, come on now wash up and dinner is just about ready." I follow Gerard down the hall to the bathroom as Donna disappears back into the kitchen and after we wash our hands we go into the kitchen where I see a large dining table set up, Mikey in one chair while a man and an older woman take up two other chairs and I follow Gerard over and all three of them look up at me. "Um Frank this is my dad and my grandma Elena. Dad, grams this is my friend Frank." "When you say friend does that mean...." His dad starts and Gerard's eyes go wide as he says "No no it means friend." His dad shoots me a small embarrassed smile as he says "Well it's nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you too" I reply and Gerard tells me to take a seat. I notice the only two spare seats are either beside Mikey or Elena so I take the one beside Mikey, sparing Gerard the bother and he smiles softly at me as he sits opposite me beside his grandma. Once Donna comes to the table with the food she sits before saying "I hope it's alright, I should have checked with you before I cooked." "Oh it's fine, it looks delicious, thank you" I tell her and she smiles and Mikey makes a small gagging noise before we all start eating. Halfway through the meal I feel eyes on me and when I look up I see Gerard's dad staring at me. When he notices I'm looking he smiles sheepishly and says "I'm sorry but have we met before? I feel like I've seen you before." "Uh no I don't think we have, I......" "He's famous dad" Mikey interrupts me to say and I let out a soft sigh as recognition flickers in his eyes and he says "Something about celebrations right?" I chuckle as I say "Yeah that's it." "Wow so how do you know Gee?" "Uh, we kinda became friends over the internet and he's actually one of my closest friends now" I say as I shift my gaze to Gerard, smiling at him and he smiles back. "Oh" his dad says and the conversation dies. The rest of the meal passes in near silence, Gerard's whole family staring at me most of the time and I pretend not to notice, feeling awkward as they watch my every move. Just as we are finishing up the doorbell rings and Mikey jumps up from beside me to answer it, Donna standing up and starting to collect the dirty plates and I stand and help her despite her protests and she smiles thankfully at me as I assure her it's no bother for me to help. Just as I sit a stack of dishes on the counter I hear a voice gasp "No freaking way dude" and I turn to see four boys crowded in the doorway staring at me with wide eyes. I cringe back slightly as they all stare at me, clearly awestruck that I am in front of them and I really don't feel like being the show man for my fans right now, I just want to be with my friend and be able to be myself.

Twenty minutes later after signing autographs for the boys and some of their friends and taking photos which I flash completely fake smiles for Gerard tells Mikey that I'm not there for his amusement and he grabs my hand, pulling me away from them and back into his room and once the door is closed and I am sitting on his bed again I let out a sigh of relief and say "Thank you." "It's alright, I'm sorry about that. Mikey is a real dick sometimes and I had no idea he would invite people over like that." "Not your fault" I tell him as I smile at him and he smiles back and says "You fake it a lot." "What?" I ask confused and he continues to smile as he says "With fans, you fake being happy and excited to be there with them. Your smile just then upstairs and what I've seen in quite a few pictures is so different from the one you just gave me and the way you were at the park. I think you fake it with them." I sigh before saying "Yeah but no one knows the difference do they?" "Why though? Do you not like the attention or..." "I don't want to sound like a complete dick. I didn't get into music and start the band for attention and fame and money, I did it because I just wanted to make music and I care about the fans, I truly mean that when I say it but I don't really like the attention and the pressure people put on me. They treat me like some kind of...I dunno like god or something and people are always invading my personal space, especially complete strangers and they always want something from me, they're always touching me or wanting a hug and it just.....so I fake my smile and it keeps everyone happy." Gerard nods slowly before saying "That must suck." I nod and don't say anything back and he chuckles softly and says "So I guess now is a bad time to ask for a pic?" I laugh and shake my head as I look up into his eyes again and say "Come here" reaching out and wrapping my arm around his shoulder, pulling him into my side as I slide my phone of out my pocket, opening the camera and snapping a few pics with him, smiling at first and then I start pulling faces and Gerard does the same as we giggle like it's the funniest thing ever, the knot of tension in my chest from before dissolving completely as I laugh with my friend.

Notes