I'm not okay.

I slowly walk home, i feel bad about leaving Gerard but i guess he doesant deserve to hear my problems, I'm better off keeping them to myself. As i walk i kick rocks across the pavement, listening to them as they hit it, they seem happier than me. I pass a few people, they don't really take notice of me so that's convenient. Apart from a posse of teenagers that seemed to stare at me as i walked past. I hear them chuckle a little, murmuring words like, faggot and emo freak, however it doesant bother me. I guess I'm used to it, as i was bullied for a period of time at my old school, just because of my look, plus I'm also intimidated by my father a lot, he seems to always call me a fag, however he doesant know anything about my sexuality, well, nobody does. I'd dare not breath a word of it, not that I'm ashamed of being gay, its just most people in this world are too judgemental to understand and accept it. Which sucks, because the world would be a much more pleasant place if people weren't critical.

I finally reach my front door and taking a deep breath, i slowly walk in, closing the door inaudibly behind me, i dare not make any noise else I've had it. I walk towards the stairs, i can hear my father snoring loudly on the sofa, his bottle of beer almost falling out of his hand. I hurry upstairs and then straight into my room without hesitating. I take off my hoodie and kick off my shoes, accidentally making a thud noise, i stand still for a moment, i can feel my heart beating, However i don't hear movement, phew. I sit on my bed and gaze out of the window, watching as people went by, not one of them seeming sad, which i strongly envied because i wish i could be content like those people and live a normal life. I suddenly hear movement from downstairs, it must be my father, shit.
I hear his heavy footsteps hitting the stairs, they sound all over the place, he must be really intoxicated. I close my eyes shut and pray for him to go back down, but no, i soon hear my door being flung open with force, and there my father stood...a 6 ft tall man and he didn't look happy, not one bit, he staggers over to me, supporting himself using the wall beside him.

'Ahhh there you are' he says, his words very slurred and bewildered, He reaches over to stroke my face.

'Ssshh its okay, daddy's here' he adds, his breath was very pungent with the smell of beer. Which made me feel queasy, I sat back on my bed, moving my head away from his repulsive hands.

'What do you think your fucking doing?' he snarled, Grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him.

'GET OFF ME' i scream, desperately trying to pull away from him, but my mere size of 5'4 was nothing compared to his giant 6 ft, he had me where he wanted me and i couldn't do anything about it.

'SHUT UP' he screamed brutally, spitting on me, making me grimace a little, I was afraid, what was he going to do to me? He pulled me closer and pinned me down, immobilising my wrists, so i couldn't move them.

'Now are you gonna be good?' He grinned wickedly, as he pressed harder.

'P-please' i begged, tears flooding from my eyes, but he didn't stop, he moved one of his hands from my wrist and unzipped my trousers, pulling them down.

'STOP, GET OFF ME' i screamed, lashing out at him, but he didn't flinch, my attempts were defective, I was too weak for him and his size.

He grunted and then began to unzip himself, i looked away, closing my eyes tightly, i wanted this to end, i felt him tug my trousers off from my ankles, leaving my underside completely revealed, I felt sick, he was going to rape me...He then places his huge hand over my mouth, muffling my cries, i tried to move but i couldn't, my attempts were poor. He just laughed at me whilst i struggled in distress. Suddenly i felt a searing pain go through me, the worst pain I've ever felt in my whole life, he was inside of me, I screamed into his hand, tears falling from my eyes more and more, but he wouldn't stop, he carried on, thrusting himself into me, grunting loudly as he took advantage of me. He suddenly stopped and pulled out, hitting me in the face.

'Tell anybody and ill kill you' he snarled, before punching me in the stomach, which made me gasp for breath and fall to the floor. He left and slammed the door behind him, i then pulled my trousers back on and sat on the floor crying and in pain, I just wanted to die.

Notes

poor frankie :'((

Guys i know its not really good at the moment but please bear with me it will get better!! please don't stop reading :3

Thank you ^-^