F*ck and Run

“You should come over later.” Gerard grinned, pressing his lips to the corner of Frank’s mouth in a sloppy kiss. He had Frank pinned up against the wall by the front door.
“I’m off at 5.” Frank said.
“I know.” Gerard breathed, “That’s why they call it a nine to five.”
Frank almost forgot to lock his apartment because he was so busy kissing his un-lover. They kissed for a few more moments outside of Frank’s apartment building before parting ways. Frank headed for the subway. Gerard went the other direction, offering some vague explanation involving errands and art supplies.

Frank thought about Gerard the entire subway-ride to work. It was hard to not think about Gerard. Not when Gerard’s lips had been the last thing he felt before falling asleep and the first thing he’d felt when he’d rolled over after hitting the snooze button.
Over the last couple of days, he’d been pep-talking himself. He was trying to work up the courage to point out to Gerard that they were perhaps lovers after all. Friends, maybe. Friends with benefits, if Frank was in a good mood.
Frank didn’t mind waking up next to Gerard. He didn’t mind that he was always exhausted all through the day after Gerard spent the night. He didn’t mind that he spent less time playing guitar, drinking alone, and avoiding his creepy haunted livingroom. He didn’t mind cooking twice as much, or doing twice as many dishes. He didn’t mind sharing the shower in the mornings.
If he didn’t mind those things, he could only wonder what else he wouldn’t mind.
And if Frank was honest with himself, which was a rare occurrence, he always came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t mind if what he had with Gerard became a regular thing.
But it was just sex.
Or at least, that’s what Frank told himself.
‘Just Sex’ was about as much as Gerard was emotionally capable of. Probably. It wasn’t like Frank had asked. But he hadn’t asked because it wasn’t the kind of thing you asked someone you saw for ‘just sex’. He tried to remind himself of this as much as possible and he’d been doing a pretty fucking good job of it until Jamia slipped into his office at lunch. She dropped into one of the chairs across from his desk, not even bothering to ask if Frank was busy or not.
“So you’re coming out with us tonight, right?” She asked, pulling a rubber band out of her pocket and shooting it at Frank’s monitor.
He looked up from the spreadsheet he’d been working on all morning to glare at her. She shot back a satisfied smirk, knowing she’d successfully grabbed Frank’s attention.
“Can’t.” Frank mumbled.
“Why the fuck not?” She scoffed.
“I’ve got plans.” Frank offered.
“Yeah? Watching paint dry again?” she teased.
“Hey Frank, did you take anything off the fax machine?” Mikey asked, poking his head in the doorway.
“Nope.” Frank sighed.
“Mikey, tell Frank he has to come out with us tonight.” Jamia pleaded.
“I can’t.” Frank repeated, blushing, “I’m meeting Gerard.”
“Gerard can come out for a drink too.” Jamia whined. “I mean, if you’re going to keep seeing him, you might as well bring him around.”
“I don’t know if Gerard would wanna come out. He’s….” Frank faltered, locking eyes with Mikey as if the younger Way knew the words he was looking for, “Gerard’s… different.”
There was a twitch on Mikey’s face. It was the smallest possible breach in his typical stoic, emotionless demeanor, but it was unmistakable. Frank almost wondered if he’d just imagined it in his beyond-exhausted state.
“Well then, you have to come out on Saturday.” Jamia insisted. “And you have to stop seeing Gerard if it means you’re not gonna hang out with us after work anymore. I don’t like this serious, boyfriended version of you.”
“Gerard can’t come out on Saturday.” Mikey said, before Frank could point out that Gerard wasn’t his fucking boyfriend.
“Why not!?” Jamia yelled, “You guys are killing me here.”
“I don’t know.” Frank said honestly, raising an eyebrow as he looked at Mikey.
“We’re going out… um, to the woods.” Mikey offered.
“It’s the dead of winter.” Jamia scoffed, “What the fuck could you possibly be doing in the woods that’s more fun than getting wasted with me and Frankie.”
“We just sort of… have to.” Mikey shrugged, “Anyways, I’m waiting on a fax from Epitaph and I need to see if someone accidentally grabbed it.”
And just like that, Mikey disappeared.
Which meant, Frank concluded, that he was onto something after all. And Mikey was in on it.
Frank hadn’t forgotten about Gerard’s mysterious healing capabilities. There’d been no further evidence that Gerard was some kind of super-human mutant. He had been looking for other signs that Gerard was weird, but nothing had come up. He’d considered cutting Gerard just to see what would happen, but he wasn’t sure that cutting someone who may or may not have healing powers was such a good idea. What if he couldn’t heal on demand? What if he had other powers that he could hurt Frank with.
If he worked up the courage to tell Gerard that he’d made a mistake and that he wanted to be friends after all, then maybe he’d ask about the healing stuff.
Friends could ask each other those kinds of things, right?

Frank was painfully reminded of the fact that what he had with Gerard was ‘just sex’ after all as soon as he got to Gerard’s apartment that evening. The door had been closed and locked behind him for about 15 seconds before they were on Gerard’s couch, kissing each other desperately.
Gerard pushed Frank’s shirt up as he leaned back against the couch cushions. Frank stared up at the ceiling trying to decide if he felt used or not as Gerard trailed kisses down his chest.
“How was work?” Gerard asked softly as he mouthed at Frank’s hip bones.
Frank wasn’t sure if he’d heard Gerard right.
“Sucked.” Frank offered, lifting his head up to look down at Gerard.
Gerard stopped kissing his skin all over and rested his head on Frank’s belly, gazing up at him sympathetically.
“I’m sorry.” Gerard said, “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Frank wasn’t sure what it was he saw in Gerard’s eyes but he immediately decided he didn’t feel used at all.
“No um… it was just boring, you know?” Frank said, swallowing hard.
Gerard hummed an acknowledgement, picking up his trail of kisses where he’d left off.
Frank was bewildered by Gerard’s ability to say the right things, just when Frank needed to hear them. There was a terrifying moment where Frank wondered if Gerard could flat-out read his mind. Though, if Gerard could read his mind he would be able to tell that Frank had figured it out, which he didn’t seem to be aware of at all. Frank quickly worked himself into a confusing circle of thought on whether or not Gerard could read his mind. The circle was brought to a grinding halt as Gerard palmed at his half-hard dick through his jeans. His breath caught in his throat at the beautiful emergency brake of a sensation. His head fell back against the couch cushions.
“You’re so fucking perfect.” Gerard whispered, gently scraping his teeth over the skin covering Frank’s hip bone. He started to work at the button on Frank’s jeans.
“Do you want me to put some music on?” Gerard asked, sliding off of Frank and making a move for the turntable before Frank could even answer.
The truth was Frank didn’t want Gerard to put music on because he liked hearing all the sweet things Gerard would whisper against his skin whenever they fucked. Music could be nice too though, he supposed. He laid there with his eyes closed, listening as Gerard slid a record out of it’s sleeve and delicately placed it on the turntable. He didn’t recognize the music as it started to play, but he decided it was probably better that way. If Frank started associating music he liked with fucking Gerard, he’d have a real problem on his hands.
Frank opened his eyes as Gerard slid back into the couch. He’d pulled off his shirt and had a condom in one hand, and a bottle of lube in the other. The putting-a-record-on suggestion, had obviously just been a suave cover-up so that Gerard could make a detour to grab the condom and lube he had stashed somewhere in the room.
Gerard took his time undressing Frank. If ‘just sex’ was the point, he took his sweet time getting there. Their lips met in a heated kiss as Gerard crawled up Frank’s body. Frank sighed against Gerard’s lips as his warm skin slid against Frank’s.
Gerard fumbled with the button on Frank’s pants. He helped Gerard slide them off as soon as he’d gotten the fly down. He was sure he’d died and gone to heaven as Gerard delicately mouthed at his neck and palmed at his dick through his boxers.
Eventually Gerard made his way back down, trailing kisses all over Frank’s skin as he went. He tugged on the waistband of Frank’s boxers, until they were down around his knees. To Frank’s torture, he didn’t go straight for Frank’s dick and instead planted dozens of crazy-making kisses along the tops of his thighs.
Frank wasn’t sure if he’d ever felt so fucking wanted in his life.
“How can you make a guy feel so fucking wanted?” he thought to himself.
Only.... he hadn’t just thought it, he realized, he’d moaned it out loud.
“What?” Gerard asked, brow furrowing. He looked up at Frank from where he’d been running delicate kisses on his inner thigh.
“You’ll have to teach me how you make people feel so fucking wanted.” Frank offered, trying to backtrack. He couldn’t believe what he’d just admitted to.
Gerard looked incredibly pained at his words.
“You think I do this with everyone?” Gerard breathed.
“No!” Frank shot back, “That’s not what I-”
“It’s not an act...” He interrupted, pulling himself up until their faces were inches apart, “Frank, I... don’t want anyone the way I want you. I thought about this all fucking day.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Frank whispered, feeling himself blush. If Gerard had been thinking about him as much as he’d been thinking about Gerard, then Frank suddenly felt like a fucking asshole.
“How fucking dare you suggest I don’t want you.” Gerard scolded, crushing their lips together.
It all fell apart from there. Frank tangled his hands in Gerard’s nightmarish mess of dark hair and kissed the hell out of him. What started as sex on the couch, devolved into sex on the floor. When Gerard started to get a rug-burn he steered them towards the bedroom because, as Gerard had put it, there was something so beautiful about the colors of Frank’s tattoos against the white sheets.
Frank laid in Gerard’s arms for a long while after they’d finished. Gerard had smoked a cigarette in bed and it left the room pleasantly hazy. The haziness matched Frank’s mind and body. He nuzzled against Gerard and wondered lazily if Gerard was ever going to mention that he was going out of town again.
“So, I’m going out of town for a few days.” Gerard said, pulling Frank closer. “The place I’m going has bad cell reception. You might have a hard time getting in contact with me. I just thought I’d warn you.”
“Oh… thanks for telling me” Frank said softly, silently trying not to freak out about the fact that he was now completely convinced Gerard had just read his mind.
“I just… I’d hate for you to think I ditched you again or something. I wouldn’t do that.” Gerard said.
Frank wanted to point out that Gerard would absolutely ditch him again - He’d done it before, after all - but if Gerard could read minds, he already knew what Frank thought about it.
“Where are you going?” Frank asked instead.
“My family’s cabin.” Gerard said, shifting on the pillow.
“What’s it like?”
“Well…” Gerard hummed, “It’s right by a nature preservation. It’s kind of isolated… off in the woods somewhere. It’s pretty.”
“It’s upstate, right?” Frank asked conversationally.
“Yeah. There’s a lot of good hiking around there. At least, that’s what Mikey tells me.” Gerard yawned.
“How often do you guys go up there?” Frank wondered.
“Once a month.” Gerard said, tracing his fingers over the tattoos on Frank’s forearm.
“I’d like to go with you sometime.” Frank said. “It sounds nice.”
“Does it?” Gerard laughed.
Frank nodded.
“Well… maybe next month or something?” Gerard said, pressing his lips to Frank’s and kissing him lazily for a long time as a way to change the subject. Frank saw right through it. He’d heard the tightness in Gerard’s voice. Whatever was going on with Gerard, he was certain it had something to do with the cabin. If the cabin was even a real place. There was always the possibility that Gerard had made the cabin up completely and that he actually beamed up to a spaceship once a month. Frank wasn’t sure if something like that would even surprise him.

Aside from a trip to the bathroom and a short period of time where they ate toast in Gerard’s kitchen, they mostly stayed in Gerard’s bed, talking or kissing.
Gerard fell asleep long before Frank did. Frank laid by his side in the quiet darkness, listening to his lover’s even breathing.
Gerard usually slept peacefully all through the night, which Frank envied. Frank was the type to lay awake, tossing and turning, battling unwanted thoughts until the sun rose. It took Frank by surprise that someone who slept around so much didn’t have anxious demons to fight off in the dark silence. Gerard seemed so at peace with himself, which left Frank to wonder if he was the one with problems, not Gerard.
Gerard rolled over in his sleep, wrapping an arm around Frank and burying his face in the crook of Frank’s neck. Frank smiled at the sweetness of the thoughtless intimacy.
Gerard drew in a long, slow breath, breathing Frank in. It created that familiar, warm feeling in Frank’s chest. He felt wanted and... safe...
Or, Safe until an unholy growl rumbled in Gerard’s chest, wiping the smile right off of Frank’s face. Frank tried not to gasp at the sound. He held his breath for a moment, wondering if perhaps he’d just dreamed the sound.
Gerard’s muscles twitched as he inhaled again and there it was: a deep, low growl ripping from his throat.
Frank had never heard such a sound come from a human being before. The sound was much more in line with something he might’ve heard the family dog make when he was a kid.
All previous theorizing that Gerard was some kind of an alien quickly dissolved.

Gerard had to be a demon of some kind. A magically-healing, mind-reading, growling demon. And Mikey was in on it.

As Gerard continued to hold Frank, producing unholy growls every couple of breaths, Frank fought to decide if it changed how he felt.
Sure, not telling Frank that he wasn’t human had to be some kind of extreme abuse of Frank’s trust, but the more he thought about, the more he could sympathize. If Frank was some kind of monster, he probably wouldn’t know how to tell anyone either. Gerard’s lack of a desire for maintaining some kind of permanent romantic relationship made sense to Frank when he saw it that way.
He wondered if he should tell Gerard he knew. It wouldn’t be ‘just sex’ if Gerard knew he knew. If Gerard could read minds, he’d know that Frank knew as soon as he woke up.
The idea of telling him scared Frank. He couldn’t fathom the extent of Gerard’s abilities. He didn’t know what Gerard was capable of. What if Gerard freaked out and hurt him?
Frank just laid there completely motionless, wide awake, very confused, and very terrified until the alarm Gerard had set for him went off.
Gerard got up when Frank did, shuffling towards the kitchen to make coffee in a half-awake daze as if it was any other morning they’d spent together. Frank searched through Gerard’s closet until he found a collared shirt that wasn’t too huge on him so that he didn’t show up for work in the same clothes as the day before, not that anyone but Jamia would notice.
The smell of coffee wafted down the hall as Frank brushed his teeth. He stared at his tattooed fingers gripped around the spare toothbrush he kept in Gerard’s bathroom. The amount of denial Frank was in was laughable. Who the fuck kept a toothbrush in the bathroom of someone they saw for ‘just sex’?
“That shirt looks cute on you.” Gerard said.
Frank saw him slipping in the bathroom in the mirror’s reflection, all heavy-lidded and sleep-logged. He leaned against the door frame and sipped on a mug of coffee as he watched Frank smooth out his bedhead.
“Thanks…” Frank said, turning to face Gerard.
He searched Gerard’s face for any sign that this morning was in any way different than all the others. All Frank saw was a sleepy, contented grin. He moved ‘mind-reading’ over into the maybe category.
“Please tell me there’s more coffee.” Frank groaned. He was going to need a lot of coffee if he was ever going to make it through the day.
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Gerard scoffed, striking terror into Frank’s heart as he moved ‘mind-reading’ back into the YES category.
“Of course there’s more coffee. “ Gerard chuckled, drifting out of the bathroom.
The rest of their time together that morning drifted along in a similar fashion. Frank was extremely on edge, constantly unsure if Gerard had found out that he was found out. He felt foolish and petty each and every time his adrenaline spiked. He was so tired from staying up all night thinking, so sore from fucking for so long the day before, and so worn out from trying to navigate his strange situation. When he looked in Gerard’s eyes, he saw nothing out of the ordinary, which made him feel like maybe he was just going crazy. He thought about just blurting it out and just asking the first question that came to his head, but every time he was about to say something, Gerard was there, kissing him and making him forget how he was going to phrase his questions.
“So I’ll call you when I’m back in town.” Gerard said, catching Frank’s mouth in a kiss.
“Alright.” Frank nodded.
“Maybe you can tell me what the fuck you are when you get back.” Frank didn’t add.

Of course, Jamia noticed his shirt right away. Or rather, she noticed that Frank’s shirt was the only thing that was different when she’d come into his office to remind him that he was going out with her the following evening. Frank flipped her off and promised to meet her at their usual bar at 7.
Throughout the workday Frank wondered where Gerard was and what he was doing. Gerard had said he’d thought about Frank all day the day before and Frank couldn’t help but wonder if he had the same VIP status in his strange, inhuman friend’s brain that day as well.
Now that Mikey’s absence had been so blatantly pointed out to him, he felt it. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed how often Mikey was out of the office before.
Frank had considered the possibility that Mikey was... whatever Gerard was, but in Frank’s mind it didn’t add up. Mikey was always dating someone. Unless he hid his nature from his partners like Gerard did, Mikey wasn’t the same kind of creature.
Frank felt wrong calling his lover a creature. Gerard was very much a person, just like anyone else, even if he wasn't entirely human. He deserved to be treated and referred to as one, even if he was keeping secrets.
Frank went home alone after work, telling himself he’d ask Mikey about Gerard when they were back in town. Mikey had set them up. Mikey had gotten Frank into this mess. It was only fair that Mikey should be the one to make sense of it.

Frank met with Jamia Saturday night like he’d promised. She made him buy their first round as punishment for showing up 15 minutes late.
It started off as a pretty normal night for them. They chugged their beers and talked shit on everyone at work for awhile. Eventually Jamia brought up Gerard. Several rounds and one too many conversations revolving around Gerard later and Frank was sufficiently smashed. He hadn’t meant to tell Jamia everything, but the beers he’d drank practically did the talking for him. He left out all speculations that Gerard was some kind of demonic monstrosity. He wasn’t going to tell anyone that part until he had more evidence. Jamia listened intently and politely, even though Frank was sure he was repeating some things over and over again and generally being a drunken asshole.
At some point, Jamia suggested they go out for a smoke. She didn’t really smoke but she liked to bum cigarettes off of Frank whenever they went out together. Frank was always happy to oblige. They paid their tab and made their way outside.
Frank passed her a cigarette and even went to the trouble of lighting it for her so that she didn’t burn her hair like she had the last time he had offered her a smoke.
“Why don’t you just ask him out? Like, on a real date?” Jamia asked, puffing on her cigarette.
“I just feel like… if he wanted to see me like that, he would’ve asked me already.” Frank sighed before lighting a smoke for himself.
“He’s probably thinking the same thing, you know?” Jamia shrugged, “He knows he fucked things up with you. He probably thinks you don’t wanna date him.”
“I guess I just... don’t think Gerard has the capacity for that kind of romance, you know?” Frank offered dejectedly.
“You won’t know until you ask, Frankie.” She singsonged.
And she was right. She was so fucking right. Frank knew that.
He still tuned out her whole rant about the importance of communication in relationships, because he practically knew it by heart. He puffed his cigarette in silence, nodding like he was listening to her.
“Frankie?” She called out at smoke point, kicking him in the shin when she realized he wasn’t listening.
“Ow! Huh?” Frank huffed, looking up at her, “Sorry, what?”
“You dick.” She laughed. “Were you listening to anything I just said?”
“It’s all about communication.” he said, raising his voice much higher than Jamia’s to try and mimic her.
“Oh my god. Fuck you. I don’t sound like that!” She giggled. “No. No. Look at the fucking moon, Frankie.”
Frank spun on his heels and looked skyward. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed the way everything was bathed in pale moonlight. He’d been too lost in thought, he supposed.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jamia asked, sliding her arm through Frank’s and resting her head on his shoulder.
“You fucking sap.” He grumbled, exclusively to save face. He squeezed her arm fondly as they stared up at the sky together.
Like with everything else, Jamia was right. The moon was beautiful. It was huge and bright, hanging on the horizon just above the buildings.

Gerard said he went out of town once a month, which meant the last time he was out of town would’ve been…
Frank wasn’t sure what Gerard was, but in that moment he knew it had something to do with the moon.

Notes

i stayed up all night writing most of this. i hope yr happy.

comment??????????

-m