Gerard’s POV

I blinked my eyes open sleepily pulling the covers from my body. I stared at the ceiling of my bunk for a few minutes collecting myself, trying to fully awake and then finally, pulled the curtain of my bunk off to the side and sat up. I climbed out of my bunk and waddled toward the door that separated the bunk room from the main area, in only my boxer shorts and a wrinkled up ‘Misfits’ tee. I opened the door and continued toward the coffee maker which was already steaming hot and filled with coffee, only a little bit missing. I scanned the bus to see who was awake to find my eyes landing on Frank, lying on the couch sipping his coffee.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Frank smirked, setting his cup to the side.

“Good morning smart ass.” I responded sarcastically

I took my attention off Frank and reached for a mug in one of the cabinets of the kitchenette. I poured myself some coffee and sat down right next to Frank, being careful not to spill my coffee. I took a long sip from the cup, and then looked over to Frank who had moved to the other end of the couch now playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Hey, what’s wrong dude?” I questioned narrowing my eyes on Frank.

“Nothing…I just need to get some air.” Frank replied rising from the couch, abandoning his coffee.

“Can I come? I really need a fucking cigarette.” Frank hesitated for a moment then nodded.

It really wasn’t like Frank to hesitate when I asked to go somewhere with him, in fact, he always lit up with excitement when I did. There had to be something wrong with Frank, I knew when there was. I quickly went back into the bunk area and slipped on a pair of sweat pants before following Frank outside and starting to walk beside him. I went through my thoughts to see if I could think of something that would have made him upset. He was perfectly fine the other day, but after dinner he just went straight to his bunk without saying a word to any of the guys. Could it have been the events at dinner? I started to go through the events in sequence then I realized what it could be. Maybe it was the staring thing. I mean, I didn’t really take it to heart or anything, I just brushed it off and forgot about it. Maybe he likes me more than a friend or something. ‘No, Gerard, get that out of your head.’ I told myself. ‘He doesn’t like you more than a friend, he’ll always see you as a friend and there is nothing you can do about it.’ I sighed. Frank was the only man I really actually liked-liked, maybe even loved. He was the man who practically turned me gay, well not completely gay more like bi but that wasn’t the point.

I pulled out my packet of cigarettes from my back pocket and lit one up while Frank and I continued down the sidewalk. I scanned the town we were in, trying to figure out what time zone we were in and more importantly what city. He turned his attention to Frank, who had his hands in the pockets of his plaid black and white pajama bottoms watching the sidewalk as he walked. He still looked doleful and I couldn’t stand to see him that way.

“Do you know what city we’re in?” I asked Frank, who looked up immediately, a bit startled.

“Uh…I think Philly, I’m not really sure though.” He replied quietly, returning his eyes to the ground.

I took a long drag from the cigarette between my fingers, and then let out a big puff of smoke.

“Frankie, you really need to tell me what’s wrong” I demanded. Frank stopped in his tracks and turned his head to Gerard with a cold expression.

“I told you, I really don’t wanna talk about it, so fuck off Gee”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t like seeing you upset, ba-“ I stopped in mid-sentence realizing what I was about to say. Was I really about to say ‘babe’? ‘Really Gerard? Smooth.’ I thought to myself. Thankfully though, Frank hadn’t caught the last part of his sentence because after a moment of silence he heard Frank’s voice reply.

“Sorry, I’m just…..thinking about something.”

“What’s on your mind?” I ask curiously

“Uh…God Gee, this is fucking embarrassing.” Frank blushed.

“Come on Frank, it can’t be THAT bad, spill it.” I pushed. Frank bit his lip and moved his feet back and forth before finally giving in with a sigh.

“Well, I sort of have had a um, crush on this guy for a long time and um, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me back, because, um he’s straight and I don’t know how to get over him.” Frank pushed out, now playing with the hem of his t-shirt again.

My heart skipped a beat for a moment, could he mean me? Of course not, I mean, I haven’t exactly come out to the guys that I’m bi so that pretty much explains why he said straight but he couldn’t mean me. There were plenty of other good looking guys he could mean, he knew a shit load anyways. With this realization my heart sank. Why did I get my hopes up anyways? Then I came back to reality to see Frank still standing there uncomfortably his long dark hair in front of his face.

“Well maybe you should tell him, ya know? I mean, It would probably make you feel better to get it out, even if he is straight.” I considered to him plastering a fake smile on my face.
Frank thought for a moment, then sighed. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea, I mean, he’s kinda one of my best friends, um, what if he gets ya know….weirded out and doesn’t wanna be friends anymore?”

One of his best friends? Maybe it’s me. ‘No Gerard get that out of your head he has plenty of best friends.’ The voice inside my head told me. I listened to it and took all the thought of Frank wanting to be more than friends and put it at the back of my head.

“Then he isn’t a real friend,” I told him putting out my arm resting on Frank’s shoulder “just listen to me, if he says he never wants to talk to you again he’s a fucking a douche and doesn’t deserve to be your friend, okay?”

“Okay…..I’ll think about telling him but, I’m not sure...I probably won't” he muttered, and with that the conversation was over and we headed back to the bus, silent.