His names 'Gee' or something like that

Its getting really late and me and Gerard get snuggled up in bed, I lay with my head on his shoulder, playing with his messy hair, I drag myself on top of him and kiss him, i start off quite gentle then i get a little rough, I pull his hair, making him moan, I like the beautiful noises Gerard makes so i continue. I lick his lips, and then i thrust my tongue into his sloppy mouth...He digs his nails into my back, strangely i like the pain, so i don't stop him,

'F-frank' He moans, as i begin to kiss his neck, his top is blocking me going further so i rip it off him and throw it on the floor, i kiss further down his body, i can feel him tensing up when i hit his sensitive spots, we continue for a while and then I'm on my back and Gerard's kissing my neck, marking his territory by sucking my skin and leaving marks on it..
He raises his head..

'So, what about us?' he says, panting as he speaks...
'I love you, gee, I want too be with you'
'Then that's whats you can have' He smiles at me and lays down on my shoulder, He is finally mine! we forget about what were doing and end up falling asleep.

***TIME LAPSE***

I suddenly awake and im panicking, I can hardly catch my breath, I get up off the bed staggering, then I realise that im having a panick attack, shit...fuck...
I grab on to the door handle trying to keep myself from falling but its no use, I slump onto the floor making a loud thud noise, at this point gerard suddenly wakes up and rushes to my side,
'frank, shit...are you okay' he cries a he picks me up and sits me down on my bed,
I could hear the fear in his voice as it was very shaken up, I still couldant catch my breath...panting...I managed to blurt out a few stuutery words,
'p-panick at-ack'
'shit what happened? Gerard cries,
'i-its n-nothing' i stutter,
'frank tell me' his voice was stern,

'you left me, you diddnt love me, you found someone else because I wasnt good eenough for you' I cried

gerard held me in his arms and kissed me on my forehead, he began to cry himself, what if hes crying because its true?...shut up frank dont fucking think like that!

'frank ill never do that to you, I fucking love you, dont ever think like that again! ' we lay back down and I rested my head on his chest, I could hear his beautiful heart beating.

I couldant get over what had just happened, i lay awake for a while whilst gerard slept, ive made such a fucking fool out of myself, i feel so stupid, why do i always fuck things up?! i hate myself!

stupid, stupid frank.

i got up and went to the bathroom, i punched the wall,
'FUCKING STUPID FRANK' i screamed into the mirror, gerard must have heard me because there was soon a banging on the door,
'FRANK, OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE' he begged...
'NO, ive fucked everything up, you hate me'...
i took out some pills and began to swallow them when suddenly gerard crashed through the door....shit....he broke the lock....
'FRANK' he screamed as he grabbed the pills off me...and threw them on the floor,
'frank, what the fuck have you done,..HOW MANY DID YOU TAKE?'
I break down into tears and fall on the floor, i forgot how many pills ive took...maybe two or three...

Gerard sits next to me, crying and shaking me,
'F-frank, h-how many?' He stammered,

'maybe two or three i cant remember'

'FRANK PLEASE NEVER DO THIS AGAIN, I LOVE YOU I REALLY FUCKING DOO, I COULDANT IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU' he begged through tears,

'im s-sorry' i cried as he held me, rocking me back and forth comforting me, i never want too leave him, but im such a fuck up, im a failure, any good thing that happens to me i mess up in some way or another, stupid panick attacks, stupid frank.

Notes

i hope you like it:3