I'm Not Okay

After we came back downstairs Gerard was in a better mood and the party was just better in general. We opened gifts and when it was time for everyone to leave Bryce gave them a kiss on the cheek before they left.

"Wasn't that fun?" I asked peanut as I pulled him on my lap and cuddled with him, he wasn't cuddling back because he was too busy with his race car Mikey had gotten for him.

"Babe I'm going to put the girls down." He said holding both of them.

"If you do it now they'll be up really early." I warned.

"Okay...."

"And you'll be the one tending to them." I sang.

"On the other hand I think they could stay up a little longer." He said then put them in their little rocker chairs then sat down next to me.

"Come here." He said then reached out and pulled me on his lap; peanut was still in my lap engrossed in his toy. "So I was thinking." He said as he played with my hair.

"Really I'm so proud of you."

"Did you have an extra helping of sass in your breakfast this morning?" He asked.

"I'm just teasing." I said and pecked his lips, "So what we're you thinking about?"

"Our wedding, we have a lot of planning to do still."

"You're right." I agreed with him, "I don't really know how to plan a wedding. What did you do the last time you got married?"

"Lynz did everything last time, all I got a say in was the cake flavor."

"Oh well, I'm not too sure I want a big thing, I mean I kinda want it small. Family and close friends, what do you think?"

"Kinda small is not bad, but not too small."

"Totally." I agreed.

We ended up spreading at least another few hours talking about our weeding and all the details we could talk about, which actually wasn't that many. We had only agreed on a cake favor and what month we wanted it in, we chose September, not to hot and not to cold. We stopped talking about the wedding when we smelled a pretty foul smell.

"Oh my god that's awful, who is that?" Gerard asked as I got off his lap.

"I don't know." I said and held peanut up so his back side was facing Gerard. "Check him." I said as I pushed his butt closer to Gerard's face.

"You check." He said and pushed him closer to me.

"He's your son." I said pushing him back.

"He's just as much mine as he is yours."

"Take your damn baby!" I said holding him out.

"Fine." He said then took him and sniffed his butt. "Yeah it's him, but I think the girls went as well."

I sighed knowing he was right and took both the girls up and cleaned them off, when I was halfway done changing the second one Gerard came in and started getting them ready for bed, he must have already put peanut to bed.

“See look at me, I’m a good father and husband.” He said as we put them down for the night, it was really late so tomorrow things were gonna be weird.

“Yup, you’re the second best.” I said and leaned up and softly pressed my lips to his.

“Second?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes second, because I am the best.”

“Cant disagree with that.” He said then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down for a long passionate kiss. This kiss didn’t have anything sexual hidden behind it; it was just a nice loving kiss. I loved kisses like that between Gerard and I, it reminded me that Gerard wasn’t here just for the sex or for the fact he had gotten me pregnant and he felt obligated to stay with me, he was here because he truly did love me.

Notes

It's short but sweet, mainly because I'm really tired and about to pass out. (By the way if there are any word missing the letter "u" its because my keyboard is acting weird, I tried to find all the times I missed it but I might have missed a few)

Till next we meet my killjoys