I'm Not Okay

“Well alright Frank, remember not to get out of bed unless you’re coming here or you are in labor, okay?”

“Yes Doc.” I said as Gerard helped me back into the car. Gerard waved goodbye to Dr. Shannon and started to drive us back to my house.

“So there’s something else I need to tell you.” Gerard said when we pulled into my driveway.

“Go on…” I pressed.

“You probably already know, I’ve kinda been staying on your sofa for the past few nights.

“Yeah I have, why haven’t you been at your home?”

“I left… I left Lynz; you’re right, she would make me choose between her and Bryce and I need to be there for my son… Our son. And when Mikey called me to tell me that you were at the doctor and something was wrong, that gave me the final encouragement I needed to leave her. I filed for divorce a few days ago and my lawyer said she would be served with the paper sometime today.”

“Oh wow Gerard. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, we were never gonna work out; I loved her but I was never in love with her. I was always in love with someone else.” He said then grabbed my hand, although he didn’t say he was in love with me I got the hint.

“I know it might be too soon because I’m still a married man, but will you go on a date with me?” He asked.

“I would love to say yes but I can’t really go anywhere.” I gestured to my stomach.

“Oh Frank.” He chuckled, “Can I buy us some take-out food tonight and we watch a movie in your bed. No funny business, just the two of us- well three,” He rubbed Bryce who was softly kicking, “Then after the movie I can kiss you goodnight and we will part ways until the next time I bring you a bottle to feed Blackjack.”

“I would really like that Gerard.” I told him.

He smiled down at me and kissed my cheek. He then helped me back inside my house and into my bedroom. Instead of leaving me alone he sat next to me and we just started talking about the next album.

“Hey Frank.” Mikey said coming into the room with a piece of paper in his hand. “I checked everything you have for the kid and it looks like you’re missing: wash cloths, baby powder, and a stroller, and car seat.”

“How did I forget a stroller and car seat?” I asked out loud.

“Here,” Gerard said getting out of bed, “I’ll get the stroller and car seat, then I’ll deposit more money into his college fund at the bank and then I will pick us some food for tonight. Sound good?”

“No. No offence, but I wanna choose the stroller and car seat for safety reasons, you get the baby powder and wash cloths and Mikey and I will look online for the stroller and seat.”

“Whatever makes you happy.” Gerard said then smiled at us and left.

“What’s going on with you and my brother?” Mikey asked when he heard the front door close.

“Nothing really, did you know he filed for divorce?”

“Yeah I did…. But what’s going on between the two of you. Last week you didn’t even wanna look at him.”

“He said some stuff in the car about him saying his previous actions were wrong and he wants to do right by the baby and stand by my side. I felt like I really could believe him and Bryce is gonna need his other father so I decided it’s about time to start being nice to him.”

“That’s really nice Frank, and I’ll be sure to keep him in line in case he goes to fuck things up again.” Mikey told me.

“Thanks uncle Mikey.”

“Anything else?”

“He asked me out on a date… so tonight it’s just gonna be the two of us eating and watching a movie in my room.”

“Frerard fans are gonna go crazy.” He laughed and so did I. “Do you want me to stick around during the date or do you want me to head out?” He asked.

“Do you have plans for tonight?”

“No I’m just asking.”

“Would you mind? Just in case things kinda go sour.” I said.

“Sure thing Frank.” He said then smiled.

While we waited for Gerard to come back from doing hid errands, Mikey and I chose a stroller and a car seat, it was kinda pricey but money was nothing compared to Bryce. If I could but him a castle I would. I knew I would be one of those parents who missed work to watch their first grade spelling bee or would drive them for hours to take them to a concert on a school night… if he had reasonable grades. When Gerard did get back he got vegetarian pasta from my favorite place and one of my favorite movies. When Mikey saw him he smirked at the two of us and headed out. I could feel myself start to blush when Gerard put the movie on and crawled on the bed with me. We both ate our food during the first part of the movie then when we put our used plates away he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close; at first I was tense about it but I soon relaxed into his arms. I was getting cold so I put myself under the covers while Gerard stayed on top of them.

After the movie ended neither one of us moved, after a bit I leaned up to look him in the eyes. He looked back down at me and smiled; slowly he leaned down closer to me and started to close his eyes. I closed my too and seconds later I felt his soft lips against mine, they weren’t hungry like they were the last time we kissed; this time there were passionate and caring; just the way it felt like someone who loved you kissed you. After a minute he started to move his lips against mine and I did the same, soon enough he gently placed one of his hands on the side of my face and held me close to him. The kiss didn’t last much past that though, we both stopped when we heard a gasp coming from the doorway. We broke apart and looked at the doorway, expecting Mikey to have walked in on us. But instead with Lynz, Gerard’s soon to be ex-wife…

Notes

A lot of you guys wanted Gerard to get his ass kicked, namely by Lynz... SO well you know what to expect to see next chapter

Till next we meet my killjoys