Falling In Love With A Teacher Is The Least Fun A Teenage Boy Can Have Without Taking His Clothes Off

My heart was pounding as I ran down the stairs, Frank calling my name behind me. All Mikey said was that he found something in my room. Maybe I was overreacting, but I'd rather care too much about what he said than assume he didn't find what I think he did. Fuck, I thought I'd hid them well enough, in a small box behind all my comics and used notebooks. Why was he in there anyways? This isn't the fucking time for questions, I feel like I'm about to throw up and my head is pounding. I'll make it up to Iero somehow, maybe clean the room for him or grade things or something.

I eventually reached my home, a single story house on the side of town all upper-middle class families live in. My parents' car wasn't in the driveway, so they weren't home from their business trip yet. I quickly unlocked the door, slamming it behind me to let Mikey know I was home. I walked into the hallway and pulled down the hatch to the attic. I could hear things shifting around, so I knew he was in there. I pulled myself up and into my "room", sitting on the edge of the hole before standing on my own two feet.

Mikey sat on my bed, my box open in his lap. He held in between his index and thumb a shining, silver razor. I opened my mouth to say something when he interrupted me. "You said you'd stop."
"You can't prove I still do it," I said matter-of-factly. He immediately stood up, throwing the box on the bed, and walked up to me. He grabbed my arm and pushed the sleeve up to my elbow, exposing the red and inflamed cuts up and down my arms. Fuck, I really didn't think he would go out and do that. I managed to pull my arm away, hiding it behind my back.
"You said you'd stop!" he said again, his voice more frantic.
"You said you'd quit using, too," I replied, staring him right in the eyes.
He gulped before muttering, "I did." But being his brother and all, even though we're not close, I can tell when he's lying. His eyes always flicker to the right as he speaks. So, I grabbed him by the shirt, much like he just did to me, and pulled him closer. I took a deep sniff of his shirt before forcefully pushing him away.
"Then why the hell do you still smell like pot?"
He fidgeted around, looking down at his fingers. "I-I..." He bit his lip and looked away from me and through the small window above my bed. "Gee, listen-"
"You don't have the fucking right to be calling me nicknames when you rummage through my room and lie to me about doing drugs," I interrupted. I may be a bit harsh, but I was pissed.
"I came into your room to look for money, okay?!" he yelled, his hands balling into fists. "Ray, he-he--"
"Ray?" I was yelling to now. "The one who fucking dealt you coke?!"
He didn't look at me until now. "YOU REALLY THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO LECTURE ME ABOUT DRUGS WHEN YOU STILL SLIT YOUR WRISTS?" I was going to reply, but he kept talking. "I understand why Rose killed herself now. You're such a goddamn pain in the ass!"

"... we don't talk about her, Mikey."
He scoffed, running a hand through his hair. "Oh, we can't talk about your dead girlfriend but we can talk about my drug use. Okay, then. Fuck you."
"Get out of my room," I whispered, ultimately failing at trying to keep my voice firm.
"Why don't you listen to everyone at school and kill yourself already?!" I heard shuffling before suddenly, all my razors were thrown at me. "You're never gonna get anywhere in life, big brother! You're just a fucking emo fag like they say you are."
"Get out."
"No one's going to miss you, Gee. I sure as hell won't! And I know you don't have any friends!" He waved his hands around as he spoke, a taunting grin on his face.
"GET OUT!"
He chuckled to himself as he jumped down the hatch and back onto the hardwood floors of the hallway. I slammed the small door down and turned back to the razors on the floor. I could feel tears forming in my eyes, but from the footsteps downstairs I could tell Mikey was still there. That's probably what he fucking wants, for me to cry. I picked them up and threw them back in the small wooden box. I ignored how my hands were shaking as I placed the box back to where it was before, behind my books.

No one's going to miss me, I thought as I shut the box.

No one's going to miss me.

I grabbed my phone and the pack of Marlboro's in my bag and stuffed them in my pocket. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I listened for the footsteps. They'd left by now, so I jumped down from the hatch. I looked around to make sure no one was here yet as I reached up to close it. I went towards our backdoor, stepping out into the humid summer air. Mikey was nowhere to be seen. I walked around the house and into our front yard. I could smell the smoke coming from his room on the side of the house. Fucking druggie.

I lit a cigarette as I walked to... wherever I was going. It seemed I was heading for Main Street, a strip of stores and cafes in the middle of my small town. Like the Hollywood Boulevard of New Jersey. Or at least what I assume Hollywood Boulevard is like. I walked past a small coffee shop, the sign hung above the canopy read "Copper Star" (A/N: That's actually a coffee shop here in Phoenix I didn't want to think of a name oops). I walked past two dark-haired figures, but didn't bother to turn and look at them.

My feet carried me to an old park a few miles away from my house. I came here all the time as a kid, but when my parents found out about the history of the neighboring forest, they stopped taking me. It's an extremely popular suicide spot. This is the one time I'll allow myself to remember her, to touch something she once held in her hands. We buried the rope under the short pine tree, I remember. I passed the small creek in between the park and the forest and felt a sense of relief wash over me. This entire time, the reason I hadn't done it was because I wanted to help Mikey with his drug problem. He used to do everything, coke, ecstasy, LSD, everything. I helped him a few months ago get out of it, but obviously he's still using. But if he doesn't miss me? Well that makes this so much easier.

Local loner found hanged in forest infamous for suicides.

Wonderful headline.

The box with the rope was right where I remember. I was debating in my head which tree would be the best. I mean, my dead body won't care where I end up, but I feel like I'd be letting down the me who would plan this all out as he laid awake in bed if I just did it at any old tree.

I took a step towards on particular tree, and that's when I heard a voice behind me yell, "stop!" They grabbed my arm and forced me to turn around to face them, pulling the rope out of my hands.

"... Mister Iero?"

Notes

I KINDA FORCED MYSELF TO WRITE HAHAHa
the ways' past kinda??? idek
BUT I'M GOING TO MONUMENTOUR ON AUGUST 8 IF ANY OF YOU ARE SITTING IN THE GENERAL ADMISSION LAWN PLEASE TELL ME WE CAN MEET OR SOMETHING <3
the girl taking me is a friend from school and she doesn't understand it takes forever if we want to get the ticket slips on the day of the concert ugh. we have school that day too and we don't get out until 3:30, it takes about 45 minutes to get there, and the doors open at 5:30. we're gonna get a really bad spot :(
title is fall out boy's "golden" (sorry for so many fob titles i just really love them)

xo