Sing Me To Sleep

I feel like i might explode.
Like maybe, If I'm lucky, my whole existence would just be obliterated. I really hated life and i wanted to explode. That by no means meant i was suicidal. It just meant i wanted to stop existing. I feel like that a lot, not that I want to die, i just want to not exist. There is a difference. Wanting to be dead means wanting to be cold and lifeless, to stop breathing. Not existing meant never breathing in the first place, never having life. I want to not exist.
At some point during this existential crisis, if it could even be called that, gerard walked into the guest room. These days I could barely look him in the eyes. I feel like if i did I might cry. And, honestly, I didn't want to have to explain to him why I was crying. Or why I loved him. As If he already didn't know. he saw my drawing of us. His wife also saw it.. I was lost in thought again until i heard his beautiful voice.
"Frankie can I talk to you?" Shit. Shitshitshitshit. Why does he need to talk to me? Is he kicking me out? Or worse, does he know how i feel about him?
"yeah..?" I spoke quietly and kept my eyes on my drawing.
"Come with me" he grabbed my hand and pulled me into his room. Where the fuck was lynz? Why was i in here? Oh god, I hope he doesn't hit me. "Uh.. Frankie how do you feel about me?"
before i even opened my mouth my face was all red and my hands were all sweaty.. "I.. I, uh. I really like you" before i even knew what was going on i felt him sit dangerously close to me, his lips practically touching my ear, it kind of tickled.
"I like you too Frankie.." i heard him and got goosebumps, I've never been this close to him before. I grabbed him by his hair and pressed out lips together.
I could get used to this.

Notes

Heh. Frerard.

ARxoxo