Sing Me To Sleep

Gerard and I had a nice time, he asked about Patrick a lot.. Like, questions about us and if we were together and stuff.. I hope he didn't like Patrick.. I would cry if he did. We left the coffee place and drive back home.. Was I getting to comfortable with the Way's? Should I call it home? It's their home, but I'm just visiting..
Gerard decided that I didn't need to go to 'work' today. He took me back to his house and we walked up to the door and we were talking about wether DC or Marvel was better. (Marvel. Always Marvel). He opened up the door and saw Lynz looking inside one of Gerard's sketchbooks. I could see what was on the page, but she looked unamused by it.
"What's that, honey?" Gerard asked innocently. as she threw the book onto the coffee table i saw the picture of Gerard and i that I had drawn the previous night. My face turned an unnatural shade of red, almost the color of Gerard's hair. I saw Gerard pick up to book and stare for a second, I could have sworn i saw him get a little hard. Him and Lynz got in another big fight. shocker. And more loud make-up sex. Double shocker.
Day past that i barley left the room. Days turned into weeks. All i ever heard was them fighting, that made me sad. The Only thing i heard more than them fighting was them fucking, that made me even more sad. I almost felt morally obligated to leave the house and never come back. But it was a record breaking winter, it hadn't been this cold in a VERY long time... And I couldn't bring myself to leave Gerard. Yes, I know I'm a selfish dickhead. I had told Gerard I would stop cutting. That was a big fat lie. If anything, I had gotten worse and they had gotten bigger and deeper than before. I drew more portraits, some more detailed. Some were more intimate. And some were just of him. Him sitting at dinner, him drawing or cooking. I barely left the guest room so i didn't get many chances to observe him. But my favorite portrait was of him standing in front of me with his scarf up around his face and his big winter jacket, his red hair sticking out the ends of his hat, and his beautiful eyes. It took me days to draw it, I took my time and paid close attention to detail.
Also, I started paying Gerard all that I could. It was only about 300 a month but it was everything I was making. Aside form what I had to pay for my morning coffee. I wouldn't miss saying hi to Patrick in the morning. He made me remember that not everything is bad.
I think about his reaction to my first portrait of us a lot, the way the crotch pants grew slightly and he blushed, it made me think for a second that maybe he liked me back.. But the loud moan that escaped there room less than 30 minutes later made all those happy thoughts disappear. Today, 32 days after my first drawing was found, I had realized i hadn't slept in five days. I looked like shit. I had hug dark circles under my eyes and I would give anything for some rest. But my insomnia was horrible and I can't afford the medication i need. I need some sleep.
i need someone to hold close to me in a warm bed.
I need Gerard.

Notes

Okay, so life is kinda shitty for Frankie right now. Don't hate me.
*hides in a bush*

ARxoxo