Frank leads Gerard up to his room, dismissing,
“It’s not much, really.”
Gerard wanders around the small space, plucking through some of the tightly packed books on Frank’s shelves. “I like it. It’s very you.”
“What, you mean shitty?” Frank jokes.
Gerard doesn’t laugh, doesn’t even crack a smile. “Frank, please don’t make jokes about yourself like that.”
“But I’m only kidding,” Frank reasons.
“Well yeah, but it’s just… I know that you kind of mean it, okay?” Gerard responds. “And I don’t like to see you constantly hiding the fact that you’re insecure by making jokes about it.”
“What exactly do you want me to do?” Frank demands. “I’m insecure and I need attention. Does that mean I’m going to tell anyone that or even imply it? Fuck no!”
Gerard doesn’t say anything for a while. Finally, he tells, “Just because you’re insecure doesn’t excuse you for being unnecessarily hard on yourself about it.”
Frank bows his head, mumbling, “I have to be hard on myself.”
“Why?” Gerard asks.
Tears start to clog up the back of Frank’s throat, and his next words come out all wavered and tight as he admits, “Because I’m not perfect.”
Gerard sits next to Frank, rubbing his knee through his jeans. He comforts, “You don’t have to be perfect, Frank. You’re great just how you are. You can’t expect that much out of yourself.”
“Why not?” Frank whimpers, tears starting to flow. “I’m a shitty person. I want to be better.”
“How on earth are you a shitty person?” Gerard scoffs.
Frank shrugs, confiding, “I’m jealous, ugly, careless, destructive…” He hides his face in his hands, crying, “I just am, okay? And I don’t want to hear about how I’m not, because I know that it’s not true.”
Gerard is again silent, struggling for what to say to cheer up his friend. “Well, can I list some of your good traits?”
Frank is quiet, so Gerard proceeds, “I know you have flaws, Frank, but there’s good things, too.”
Frank remains still, shaking as he cries softly. “Let’s see,” Gerard continues. “You’re funny, thoughtful, likeable, very easy to get along with.”
Frank does nothing, just sits there weeping.
“You know, Frank,” Gerard begins. “I’ve never kissed a boy before.”
“I thought you were bisexual.” Frank’s voice comes out muffled as he talks directly into his hands.
“Well, yeah, but there’s hardly any dick around here that I’m eligible for,” Gerard replies. “You know, all the guys are straight or they have their silly standards.”
Frank giggles, confessing, “I’ve never kissed a boy either. At least you’ve been with girls. I’m full on gay and I’ve known other gay guys, it’s just that none of them like me.”
“But you want to?” Gerard asks.
“Want to what?”
“You want to kiss a boy?” Gerard reiterates.
“Of course,” Frank answers, turning a bit pink in the cheeks.
“Then say no more,” Gerard declares. He leans forward, lifting Frank’s chin and guiding Frank’s lips towards his own.
Frank turns scarlet as Gerard softly kisses him, at first only on the lips, but then he opens his mouth and nibbles at Frank’s bottom lip, bringing his tongue across its surface. Gerard’s tongue snags on Frank’s lip ring, but he manages to free it. He lowers Frank onto the bed, leaning over Frank.
Frank pulls away, telling, “You know, I really appreciate this, but it’s just that I’ve been crying and I’m really gross right now.”
Gerard shakes his head, running a hand through Frank’s black hair. “Oh Frank, you’re not gross. Ever, okay?” He kisses Frank once more, and this time when he drags his tongue across Frank’s bottom lip, the younger boy gives in, opening his mouth for Gerard, who immediately slides his tongue in.
Frank eases more and more into the kiss, and soon, Frank is fucking putty in Gerard’s hands. Gerard strokes Frank’s inner thing, the denim of Frank’s jeans rough against his hand. But he doesn’t mind; it’s intimate, and it’s with Frank, so the make out session is good enough for him.
It’s not until Gerard’s hand wanders up the front of Frank’s shirt that Frank stops, grabbing Gerard’s hand and pulling it out from underneath Frank’s shirt. Gerard looks hurt, so Frank explains,
“I’m just not ready for that stuff yet, okay? Remember, I’m only fourteen.”
“Right, right. My bad,” Gerard responds, lifting himself off Frank and sitting again. Frank lies on his back, and after a while, Gerard asks,
“So was it good?”
“Was what good?”
Gerard giggles and playfully shoves at Frank’s shoulder. “The kiss, silly!”
“Oh! Yeah!” Frank replies, blushing once more. “it was amazing Gerard, really.”
“I am a pretty good kisser, so I hear,” Gerard brags.
Frank chuckles, agreeing, “Well, now you’ve got someone to back you up on that.”
Gerard leans back, propping his head up with his palm. “Frank?”
“Mm-hm?” Frank responds, running his hand up and down his bed sheets absently.“You…. You wanted your first kiss to be with a boy, right?” Gerard questions.
Frank laughs, “Ideally, yes, seeing as I’m gay.”
“Are you… would you be…” Gerard takes a deep breath, proceeding, “Would you want to go out with me?”
Frank sits up, repeating, “Go out with you?”
“Yeah,” Gerard answers.
“Like, what does that involve?” Frank inquires cautiously.
It’s Gerard’s turn to laugh, but he answers Frank despite this, replying, “Well, we’d go on dates. We’d make out. Hang out more often in general, and hopefully… someday… get married.”
Frank perks up, and a cheeky smile plays at his lips. “I think I like this whole going out thing.”
“Oh and you can also send me nudes but that’s totally up to you,” Gerard murmurs.
Frank giggles, hugging Gerard and kissing his cheek as he squeezes him. Gerard ruffles Frank’s hair, giving him a peck on top of the head. They lay back and talk for the rest of the day, not making out, not watching or playing anything, but just generally appreciating each other and their company.

Notes

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