Gerard's pov

i woke up the next morning with a stinging pain in my leg. I looked down and saw that from when i had moved in my sleep I had gotten blood everywhere.

i groaned to lazy to clean the sheets or my clothes because blood was a bitch to get out of things. I decided instantly that I wasn't going to school today because I felt like shit.

Mikey should already be getting ready to leave and mom and dad are already at work since they go in so early. I just have to wait a few more minutes for mikey to leave until I can go upstairs.

I examined my thigh while I was waiting. For a relapse it wasn't as bad as I thought. Don't get me wrong the cuts were all deep and now puffing up but normally it's a lot worse.

they bled a lot too but I don't feel very light headed or anything. I heard the door upstairs shut and knew mikey had left. I stood up, got a shower, got dressed and went upstairs.

I grabbed a bottle of water and all my pills and took my morning dosage. I then walked outside and continued walking until I ended up on Main Street.

Main Street is basically just a strip of stores in the middle of of our town. I walked for a while and stopped in one of the many convinence stores. The one I went into had the cheapest price for my favorite cigarettes. Marlboro reds.

I bought three packs and one of the shitty lighters on the counter since I forgot mine at home. I then went into another store. Gnc.

Gnc sells a bunch of supplements for weight loss and I needed more since they're all I eat. I bought more of the pills I normally took plus some stuff you mix into your water and drink.

It was noon by the time I finished buying everything I needed so I walked home ready to go to sleep for the rest of the day.

i walked in through the kitchen door on the side of the house and wanted to scream. there sat mikey ray and frank smoking weed.

I ran as fast as I could out of sight hoping frank didn't get enough time to see it was me. I locked my door and sat on my bed grabbing at my hair.

"Hey faggot was that you?" Mikey called down the stairs.

"You're supposed to be in school you little bitch!" I yelled at him.

"So should you!" He argued. "So no telling mom deal?" He asked his voice all scratchy from smoking.

"deal." I said just loud enough for him to hear me.

"Thanks you cocksucker." He said before waking away from door and probably back to the kitchen

Fuck him.

---

The next day I went into school because mom was off and wouldn't let me stay home without a good enough reason.

My my day was uneventful. All I did was think in every class.
i don't really day dream I just think in general about stupid little things.

Mainly i I thought about how long until it would be until I went back to the studio for a shoot. I could model anything as long as whatever it was went past my knees and wasn't see through for normal modeling but it would be a while for the adult.

It kind of sucked not being able to do adult shoots because that's where the money was at. I get paid more to stand naked in front of a camera than I do to stand with some famous designers brand on.

the bell rang and I stood up to go to my next class but it was gym. No fucking way that was happening. I don't change in front of other people and especially not when my leg is all slashed up.

I wear multiple layers of clothes everyday so no one can tell how thin I really am and plus it keeps me warm. Not eating and starving yourself like I do with my anorexia makes you really fucking cold all the time. plus I just don't really like my body enough to change in front of others anyways.

i went to the bathroom and peed before making my way down under the bleachers of the football field.
A few other kids were under there like normal but i didn't care. I went to my normal spot in the far corner away from everyone and took out my cigarettes.

By the time I was on my fifth one it was almost time to head back to class. I stood up and began walking not paying attention and ran straight into someone.

I looked up and of fucking course it was frank.
"You!" He yelled pointing at me.
"you go to school here too?!"

I tried to push past him but he stopped me. "I know your brother, why are you never home?"

"you don't know my brother." I spat and continued walking away but he followed me and continued talking.

"Yes I do your Mikey's brother." He said matter of factly.
"I saw you run through the kitchen yesterday. I thought it was you because of the family photos. The kid in the pictures looked like you but they were all old."he said.

"Awesome."i replied flatly.

"Hey wait a minute I'm not done talking!" He yelled as I walked away again.
"I wanted to ask you a question, how come you never home when I'm over, or you ignore us? I know Mikey's a dick but I wanted to talk to you about that day at the studio-"

"you don't ever tell Mikey about that." I said sharply cutting him off. "he doesn't know and he doesn't need to got it? Now bye frank."


"What happens if I do tell him?" Frank asked smugly.

I stared him down trying to get the message across. I wasn't in the mood for talking to him.

"I'll make you a deal." He said. "I'll keep my mouth shut if you talk to me."

"Were talking right now."

"You know what I mean. You never talk unless you have to so if you start talking to me I'll keep my mouth shut to mikey. Fair enough?"

"Why do you want to talk to me?" I asked.

"Cause." Was his answer.
"So deal?" He asked smirking at me.

"Deal."

Notes

I'll fix all grammar later I have to go somewhere sorry!:(

please comment rate subscribe

xoxox
mcrlove