Snap shot

"Gerard what were you thinking when you did this to yourself?" Frank asked as he held me on my bed with him.

I didn't respond and instead just stared at the floor wanting it to swallow me whole. I wasn't trying to die I just wanted something other than the guilt I had been feeling to take over and I hadn't expected anyone to catch me doing it.

"Gerad don't go silent on me again it took me a while to get you to talk in the first place." He said making me think of when we first met at the studios

"I'm sorry" I whispered

"baby don't be it's okay, you're okay. But gee where'd you get the blades. I thought I got them all." He said.

"I broke my shaving razor."

"Why gee?"

"Because you took all my other ones." I huffed.

"That's not what I meant. I meant why'd you do it? Was going to this party really bothering you that much, because you could've just told me if that was the problem."

"No it wasn't the party I just felt shitty in general, like I felt guilty."

"What do you have to be guilty about?" Frank asked running his hands through my hair.

I couldn't bring up the shoot because it would break his heart, and probably his trust in me so I lied...again.

"Don't be mad." I said "but I felt guilty for eating."

Franks sighed "Gerard do you think I'm thin?" He asked.

"Yeah you're gorgeous." I answered truthfully.

"Do you have a scale anywhere in this house?" He asked.

Oh no. Hell no. I was not getting on a scale.

"Gerard answer me."

"Yeah there's one in my parents room." I said giving in.

He dragged me upstairs to my parents room. They weren't home and I didn't know where they were but I didn't really care.

Just as I began freaking out about getting on the scale frank began taking all his clothes off until he was just in his underwear.

"Frank what are you-"

frank cut me off by stepping on the scale and asking "Gerard what number does the scale say?" seriously.

I loooked down and read. "it says you weigh one hundred thirty pounds."

"Okay you're turn."

"Frankie come on please don't make me-"
I stopped talking when I saw the face he was giving me.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I stepped on the scale. "wanna know what number the scale says you weigh?" He asked.

"No not really." I told him truthfully not daring to look down at the dreaded thing.

"Gee it says you weigh one hundred and seven pounds."

"Fuck." I hissed.

"No don't. Don't you dare, Gerard you realize that means you weigh twenty-three whole pounds less than me and you said I was thin."

"You are." I said not understanding.

"That means you're thin if you weigh less than me." He said.

I didn't want to hear the bullshit. Frank could be lying about what the scale said since I stepped off and didn't dare to look down at all. Scales scared me, they seemed to control my happiness.


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all weekend frank stayed with me and we basically just cuddled while he tried to make me believe I was thin. It was on Sunday though when Mikey finally made it home from the party's he'd been at and he wasn't very happy to find us laying together on the couch with frank asleep in my lap.

He freaked out but I told him that frank had come over looking for him and the only reason he was asleep in my lap was because he was still trashed.

Mikey didn't really give a shit, he just grabbed frank and began dragging him to his room away from me. when frank woke due to being moved he gave me a confused look

I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' at him but he just shook his head at me as Mikey slammed the door to his room.

Notes

Fillerish chapter.

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