The Light Behind Your Eyes

~September 11th 2001~ Gerard's POV

I slipped quietly out of bed and tip toed into the bathroom to get ready. I had to get ready for my job as a cartoonist and I had to be quiet. Rain went out last night with Missy and Lindsey, long story short they were wasted as always. And if I wake her up, I would not hear the end of it trust me. I closed the door as softly as I could and started the shower up. Rain was a light sleeper when she wasn't drunk so I had to just cross my fingers and hope for the best. I took the longest shower of my life. I tried to calm myself. Today, I was going to draw for Cartoon Network. And I couldn't be anymore nervous. I haven't even finished my sketches. And last night was hell. I lost one sketch, Rain was missing, and my ma was having a breakdown excited I was going to the big leagues of drawing. What she didn't know was, I wasn't happy with it.

I turned the shower off and wrapped the towel around my waist. I entered the room. I silently got dressed and tied my Converse. I grabbed my messenger bag and my drawings and my sketch pad before slipping downstairs and drinking coffee and eating nothing, I was afraid of getting nervous and puking. At least I would just dry heave and not get anything on the workers. I washed the mug and checked the time. I was gonna miss the ferry! I ran upstairs and snuck back into the room. I bent down to Rain. And kissed her pale cheek. I went downstairs and caught a cab to take me to the ferry. As it drove me there, I worked on finishing the sketches. He whistled catching my attention.

I paid him before opening the door and hopping out waving him off. I was a minute early. That's when I heard the familiar chime of the ferry and looked up. The doors opened and people entered. I was second to last to get on and found a seat in the back where it was quiet and empty. I opened my sketch pad and lowered my head and started to move my pencil where I wanted them to be. I stuck my tongue out a bit. I heard people talking about something like airplanes and a tower. I paid no attention and kept drawing. I was determined to finish this. That's when I heard a loud and I mean LOUD crash.

There was screams and shrieks and shouts. I snapped up and everyone was pointing into the direction of the Twin Towers. Two airplanes were crashed into the Twin Towers. Flames and explosions erupted. Like a bomb. I suddenly felt nauseous. Crisped and blackened bodies fell out of the towers and into the debris. My eyes went wide with fear. They were once sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends, best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, family, neighbors. Dead. All dead. And their friends and family, boyfriends, girlfriends and so on are gonna hear the news in a few hours that they're dead.

I suddenly did not want to sketch. I wanted to barf as I watched the bodies fall out. What am I doing with my life? I'm just slaving myself for something I am not at all happy with, I think to myself. I was better in a band. Singing. Not slaving at their orders. Well, fuck them! Fuck Cartoon Network and everyone. I could be rich and famous by now! But stupid art had to get in the way! Not like art is a bad thing to me or I don't want to stop. I just want to sing now. In a band and get seen. Noticed. They can't tell me what to do! I'm drawing for them goddammit!

The ferry stopped at where I was. I collected my things, not looking one bit at the towers and stormed into the building. I couldn't help but notice the screams, shouts, crying, sirens, booms. I just kept walking. "Conference Mr. Way. You're late." Janet said. I smiled at her, "Thanks." I walked in. They stopped and looked at me. "Mr. Way, you are late." "I meant for that to happen." I said. "Well, sit down." And I listened. Minutes later, they turned to me. "Mr. Way, your sketches." I nodded and handed it to them. They looked them over as I watched them. Tapping my fingers on the desk. Little did they know, I knew. I knew I was gonna get turned down. And I was gonna make a scene about it.

Why?

Because I'm Gerard Fucking Way that's why.

"Mr. Way, we can't accept these. We're so sorry. But, this is not the job for you." The man said trying to sound sincere. I chuckled. "Hey asswipe." I said standing up. His eyes went wide and he looked around no words. "Do you know how long and hard it took me to make these?! I spent weeks on these. And with all that, I had to take care of my coked up high off her ass and drunk girlfriend which I love to death. And you would assume I had time. But I didn't. She was always like that. And I had no time at all. I had to wait. Until she left or went to bed. Or was high. But what's worse, is that it hurts. To see her like this. I was on the ferry when I saw those Twin Towers fall."

I pointed outside. "I watched the bodies just crumble out. Crisped and black. I was never happy with this. I want to be in a band and sing. I have no time because of you. But if you're gonna turn this down." I gestured to the papers in his hand, "Then you are the biggest asshole I've ever met. But let me tell you something, I've met plenty." I got closer and pressed my finger to his chest. "I'm gonna be famous. And everyone's gonna love us. And you'll be here, in your little ass building deciding whether or not to use some fucking cartoon drawing for a TV show. And you think, he's not gonna make it. But let me tell you Mr. Asshole. I will make it. I'll make it big." I got closer and whispered, "Watch me."

And with that, I grabbed my papers, crumbled them up, and threw them away. "Wait Gerard! We want you apart of our team!" I turned on my heel and stuck my middle finger up. I walked out with my bag and stood on the desk, "FUCK ALL OF YOU!" I stuck my finger back up and went back down. I lit a cigarette. Right in front of the NO SMOKING sign in big white letters. I blew smoke out to the desks. I chuckled then turned to Janet who looked petrified. I smiled sweetly and tapped the tip of her nose, "I liked you the most Janet. Good luck in life." And with that, I took another drag of my cigarette before flicking it onto the carpet and looked at Janet, "Don't clean it up. Make them." She nodded as I walked out and into the elevator.

I pressed the button and went down to the lobby. "Hello Mr. Way! Ready for the conference later?!" Mr. Dalton asked. I laughed harshly, "Nope fuck you very much." I said opening the double doors, "I am sick of this bullshit now have a very horrible day!" I waved and walked out. I climbed into the ferry and sat in the back. A huge smile stretched across my face. For the first time in years. "What's got you so happy?" A gum chewing man asked, "I just quit my job." "Well, that's not good." He muttered. I looked at him, "No it was, I fucking hated it." The ferry entered it's station and I hopped off. I hummed as I entered a cab and it drove home.

I paid him a big tip and got off. Rain was home. She must've called in sick. I walked in and hung up my coat. She watched me from the couch where she was on her laptop. Surprised she wasn't high. Her cute ass face scrunched up in confusion as I dropped my bag and kissed her deeply. "Well it must have went well." She said. "It did indeed! I quit and showed them who's boss!" "Well that's great. You weren't happy anyways." She said scrolling. "I was not." I reached for the telephone. And called the first person I knew. "Hello?" Matt asked. "Hey Matt! I was wondering if you'd like to start a band?" There was a sigh, "Are you sure about this or are you high?"

"Completely sober. " I hummed. "Well....are you super sure or just fucking around?" "Matt, I'm serious." Another sigh. "Well, okay then, I'm in." "Great!" I exclaimed and the line went dead. "You're starting a band again?!" Rain sat up and shut her laptop. "Yes my Dear." I said smiling. "Don't you remember how your unnamed band went?" "Yes I do Honey, but I have a feeling about this." I nod before adding,

"A real good feeling."

Notes

Sorry for the bad title. But what did you think? The comments I got were very sweet thank you so much! I'm flattered! I had to scrap the other chapter I written because it sucked. So here is this one new and improved. I kinda enjoyed writing the Gerard scene where he quits. Well here is the start of MCR! Thoughts please?

Xoxo,

Killjoy_Love19