The Light Behind Your Eyes

Gerard's POV

As we enter day three of Rain being in a coma, I'm utterly exhausted. During the day, I'm haunted by her condition and all that could possibly go wrong. At night, I'm haunted by the same goddamned dream of her leaving me, never to be seen again, and I'm scared as hell that the repeated dream means she is going to leave me and B and I can't take it. I'm starting to lose my head, just watching her lie there like that, and I'd do anything for her to wake up and be okay so we can all go home and be a family again. Thing was, Bandit was the only one keeping me sane. Pete had brought me another set of clothes and Bandit, and right now he was sitting in one of the chairs behind me, watching the TV that was in the room.

I could always watch the TV when I'm here, but I just never really wanted to. I was more content with just sitting in silence with Rain. I felt kind of bad for making the nurse do all these special permissions for me even though she knew how I felt and would kill me if I left. Which was right, I wasn't planning on it. I was leaning forward in my chair, my elbows resting on my legs as my hand cup my mouth just staring blankly at where Rain's hand rested on the sheets of the bed as Bandit sat next to me, leaning over the nightstand, coloring in her Batman coloring book. Suddenly, her index finger twitched, and my head snapped up, my eyes immediately going to hers.

Pete saw my sudden movement and quickly came to my side. "What? What is it?!" He asked quickly. "Her hand...it moved!! Get the doctor, go!!" I urged to him and he jogged out of the door as Bandit watched. I leaned forward more putting my hand on Rain's cheek. "Rain, baby, can you hear me? If you can hear me, I need you to open your eyes." I said into her ear softly and saw her hand twitch again. My heart started pounding hard against my chest with hope. Pete came back with the doctor, explaining to him her hand moved, and I added her hand moved a second time. He took her hand and asked her to grip his hand if she could hear him, and Pete and I watched with anticipation.

That's when he snapped up. "She gripped." My heart pounded faster than before. "Really?!" I asked shocked. The doctor only paid attention to Rain, asking her to open her eyes. The doctor did a test in her head and came in a few minutes later. "Well, it seems, she is in her body and will be able to hear and move, but she can't wake up yet. But don't worry, she's finding her way." He patted my back and I wiped some tears. "She has to wake up soon Pete. She just does." Pete patted my shoulder. "Hey, B?" Bandit snapped up from her book. "Yes daddy?" She asked. "Wanna paint mommy's hands with this?" I asked shaking the bottle of Rain's black nail polish. I had to tweet something, I haven't tweeted in a while. People were starting to worry.


She nodded rapidly and Pete joined her and steadied her hand for B. I snapped a picture and uploaded it saying

@petewentz and B painting @rainwentz's hands for a surprise when she wakes up.

So many people commented good lucks and sorry's and much more. It felt good to see that. I sighed and locked my phone and watched them paint Rain's hands. After they had finished, Pete said, "B, we have to go. Meagan has dinner ready with Bronx and visiting hours are over." "Okay." Bandit said solemnly. She toddled over to me and kissed my nose before saying, "Please eat daddy." I couldn't help but get tears in my eyes. Which Bandit wiped away, "Don't cry daddy! It's gonna be okay! Mommy will be fine and everything will be okay!" She said cheerily. I smiled and Pete patted my back before letting B kiss Rain before swinging her up and walking out with Bandit. And I couldn't help but believe Bandit.

When I woke up, it was very early in the morning, like 5:30 in the morning. My eyelids were still heavy and I was ready to go back to sleep already. I'd awoken to hearing rustling sounds and footsteps. When I forced myself to open my eyes all the way, I saw the nurse by Rain's bed, just checking the heart rate monitor and stuff. It was the same nurse Pete had to ask to get me permission to stay here. I realized that I was still lying beside Rain on her bed, and I was sure she was going to chew me out for it because I wasn't supposed to be up here when she saw I was awake. But she didn't. She just smiled at me and said, "Sorry if I woke you." Tiredly, I mumbled back, "It's alright. I was already half awake before I even heard you. I apologize for being where I'm not supposed to be, I'll get off the bed if you want me to."

Surprisingly, she shook her head, smiling still, "No, it's okay, you stay there. And don't you dare apologize for that. I know love when I see it and you guys have that vibe. I would love to break the rules for you." I laughed, "Oh okay, well that's good to know." She nodded and checked the time on her watch. "Well, my shift's about over. You should try to get some more rest. And try to see if you can get her to move again. The more she moves, the more she might wake up sooner." I felt a slight chill as I settled back in from where I wasn't covered up with a blanket. The nurse must have noticed because she asked, "Would you like a blanket? We have extras in the closet over here."

I nod, "That would be great, thanks." "Sure." She walked over to the closet, which was sort of out of my direct sight since I was on my side. I heard the doors open and shut, and soon she was covering me up with a blanket. I thanked her once more and then she left the room. I tightened my grip around Rain more kissing the side of her head before I shut my eyes and went back to sleep instantly. When I came into consciousness again, this time I kept my eyes shut because I knew the lights were gonna be bright. I wondered if Pete and B were already here, sitting in the chairs, waiting for me to wake up. I couldn't hear anything, but that didn't mean he wasn't here. He's good at sitting quietly when he wants to be. And B, she can be quiet when she's told.

But once I finally decided to open my eyes, I saw that Pete was in fact here without B. He was sitting in the chair beside the bed, the one that I had almost always occupied. Pete stared down at his phone, his face illuminating. "Hey, Pete." I muttered a greeting rubbing the remained of my grogginess from my eyes. His head snapped up, "Hey. Sleep well?" He asked smiling. I grinned looking at Rain, "Yeah, even in a coma, she takes all the bad away."

She twitched.

"Well I'm glad you were finally able to get some sleep." This added to his happiness of me eating and drinking more normally. "Me too, especially next to her. The nurse was in here earlier this morning. She didn't tell me to get down or anything, and she cleared up that she wasn't annoyed with us for getting me permission to break the rules. I thought that was pretty cool, and nice of her to do." I said. "Yeah, that's pretty awesome. I wondered if the nurse had covered you up with that blanket." he told me. "Yeah she did. Which was good because it's starting to get cold in here." "It's probably because it's overcast today. Later the sun is gonna come out." "Probably." I nod. "Your clothes are at the end of the bed, by the way." He added.

"Okay, thanks I'll change now. And where's B?" I asked getting up and kissed Rain's forehead and then carefully climbed over her after getting the blanket off of me, my feet hitting the floor lightly. I grabbed my clothes off the bed. "She's with Meagan and Bronx, Meagan wanted to take them somewhere to get B's mind off some stuff. And Mikey is going with them alongside Alicia. So Meagan isn't overloaded by over-energetic kids." I laughed and entered the bathroom. After I changed, I went back out into the room and put my dirty clothes in a chair in the corner of the room. Pete was still sitting where he was when I left to change. When he saw me come out, he started to get up and said, "I'll move so you can sit here." "No." I stopped him, and he stopped, half standing, half sitting, just looking at me in shock.

"Sit. You're staying right there." I pulled over another chair and sat beside him, while he slowly sat back down. I looked back at him and said, "She needs her brother by her side too." After a moment, he just smiled and looked back to Rain. I studied her pale face and noticed that the bruises and lightened just a little. Of course, they were still there and obvious, but they were slightly better than what they had been. And, the more that I looked at her, the more that I missed seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, her voice, her touch, especially her eyes. I just missed her, in general. In my mind, I struggled to find and remember the sound of her voice, but the only thing that kept coming back was the last time she spoke, in that room, with all the blood, her voice so weak and barely there.

I had to force it all away again, disappointed that I couldn't remember anything past that. But then I remembered that I had videos on my phone that had her in it, for Twitter and just some I took of her being a complete dork.

My dork.

I pulled out my phone unlocking it. I studied the background picture that laid underneath all the apps. It was the one of me kissing her cheek, eyes closed as she stared at the camera, huge smile that showed her bright white teeth and her big beautiful eyes. I hit 'Camera Roll' and the folder labeled 'Videos.' I scrolled down through them until I found one that I'd gotten from the internet of when she performed with us one tour as bassist when Mikey was in a bad time. I remember we had to make her a Black Parade uniform. We made one out of a jacket and a skirt. Pete leaned over my shoulder to watch it with me. "She did so great, I'm so proud." He said. I smiled. We both laughed at how I kissed Rain on stage just like I would with Frank but this time I had Rain.

Funny thing was, Rain was a lot more crazier than Mikey. And she would run around and talk to Frank, jam with him then move on to Ray and jam with him. She then would go to Bob and they would talk. Then lastly, she would stand with me and jam with me as we would headbang together. And I messed around with her making her laugh. When we got to my favorite part, the part where I made her sing the whole song to Early Sunsets Over Monroeville saying stuff like 'She wrote it.' and she did, a huge grin plastered across my face. When the video got over, I watched another one that I had gotten from the internet. It was the titled 'Funniest and Cutest Moments of Rain +Gerard and MCR' I had gotten it because Rain was in it. And they were mostly from LOTMS or from the making of the music videos she also starred in.

The first clip started with the camera following Rain as she walked down the concrete in her makeup and costume to Helena where she played Helena herself (A/N:Pretend lol)

"Wow Rain you look terrifying." She looked at the camera confused and like 'are you stupid?' and then she said, "I'm dead!" She waved her arms around and kept walking. "Well you are gonna be a scary person when you're dead."

Then she laughed. And my heart fluttered.

The video ended and I just watched others that had her in it from my Instagram and Twitter. It was so good to hear her voice again, even if it wasn't really her but it didn't matter. I needed to hear it. I got to see her smile and act dorky and laugh and see her blush and it just made me smile. It gave me a little more hope, I have no idea why, but it did.

When the doctor came to check on her today, everything was still looking good and she was slowly getting better. He seems to think this is some kind of miracle we've got going on here, usually there's swelling in the brain or something, but Rain showed no signs of it and just seemed stuck in a coma. I remembered what Pete had said about her fighting, and I wondered if this was what it was. Another surge of hope ran through me. When the doctor left, Pete said, "I don't think there's anything better than that." "Yeah, and I think the doctor's right about one thing." I said. "What's that?" He asked. I smiled, "Whether or not it has to do with this, you sister is a miracle."

The next morning, I was just coming into consciousness like I had yesterday, not opening my eyes straight away. I'd crawled in beside Rain again last night and slept all the way through the night undisturbed for the first time in a while. Pete and I spent the rest of the day yesterday talking to her and trying to get a response. We got one twitch. That's all. It was kinda funny, as I was laying here, I could have sworn, I felt someone pull the blanket up around me a little more. I'm pretty sure that it's not the nurse and I know it's not Pete. Way too early. Then I felt someone put their hand on my cheek, cupping it. Their touch was gentle and soft yet kinda rough like Mikey's hand due to the bass. But he couldn't be here. But the touch was familiar to me. The touch that I had gotten sparks from for years.

Wait...what?

My heart started racing a million miles an hour with hope, I could feel it beating in my throat. I swallowed hard, my breathing picking up with excitement. I could have sworn I heard a slight giggle and my heart thumped. My eyes shot open in an instant, and a pair of hazel eyes with shiny green specks were staring back at me.

Notes

Well shit..

Xoxo,

Killjoy_Love19

Thoughts??

Want to see the Black Parade dress thing that Rain wore when she filled in for Mikey? Click here!