You're Beautiful To Me

After we say goodbye to Ryan, Anna giving him a cuddle, I load the kids back into the car and head home, Miles asleep by the time we get there and Anna is rubbing at her eyes, clearly ready for a nap too. As I pull up outside the house the front door opens and Frank comes storming out, anger written on his face as he marches across the lawn towards us before he seems to remember we have two young children who we try to never fight in front of and his face softens a little as I take Anna out of her seat, standing back up and handing her to Frank. "Daddy" she chirps softly, rubbing her face against his neck and he cuddles her to his chest as he says "Hey baby, did you have a good time today?" Anna nods against his neck, her hands clenched into fists around the front of his shirt before going still, her eyes slipping closed and I reach back in for Miles, cradling him to my chest as I kick the door shut behind me and I follow Frank across the lawn and into the house, taking Miles into his room and laying him in bed as Frank stands on the other side of the room and gently bounces Anna side to side as she falls asleep in his arms. Once Miles is settled in his crib I leave the room and go back outside, locking my car now I have my hands free and by the time I make it back inside Frank is standing in the hallway waiting for me, his face hard with anger again. "Frank" I say softly, trying to defuse the situation but Frank is having none of it, reaching out to wrap his hand around my wrist as he tugs me into the living room, closing the door so we don't wake the kids. "What the fuck is going on?" Frank asks angrily and I tug my hand out of his grip as I say "I was being there for a friend, that's all." "Really?" Frank asks like he doesn't believe me and I scoff and roll my eyes as I say "No I fucked him in a cemetery in front of our kids." Franks face pales for a second before his face softens as he realises the kids were there with us. "You don't trust me?" I ask and Frank shakes his head as he takes a step towards me and says "No it's him I don't trust." "Really? Cause it sounds a lot like it's me you don't trust." Frank remains silent, clearly not knowing what to say and I push past him, making my way to the door and as I open it and step through I turn back to say "I'm not fucking around with other people, I'm not you Frank" before storming down the hallway and into our bedroom, closing the door and collapsing onto the bed as I start to immediately regret my last comment.

I lay on the bed for what feels like hours, the house remaining silent until I can't stand it any longer, my anger faded completely and I drag myself off the bed, quietly making my way down the hall to the living room where I find Frank laying on the couch staring mindlessly at the tv with red swollen eyes. "Frankie" I say softly to get his attention and he turns his head to look over at me before turning back to the tv, remaining silent and I slowly cross the room and sink down to kneel on the floor beside him, reaching out to rest my hand over his on his thigh. "Don't" he says softly as he shakes my hand off his and I slide my hand back down into my lap as I bite at my trembling bottom lip. "Frankie" I say again softly but he keeps his gaze on the tv, clearly ignoring me and after a few more long seconds of silence I say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to say that I just....I was upset." Frank continues to ignore me, not even bothering to glance in my direction so I slide across to kneel in front of his face, blocking his view of the tv and I reach out to rest my hand on his cheek as I say "I'm sorry baby" but Frank just sits up, his face a mixture of anger and sadness as he stands up and says "Just leave me alone Gerard." I remain kneeling on the floor as I watch Frank leave the room, listening to him walk down the hall and grab his keys before the front door opens and closes again and a few seconds later his car starts and I feel my control crumble, a loud sob escaping me as my tears start falling and I realise I really fucked up this time and now he's gone.

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