You're Beautiful To Me

Frank takes the next week off work on paid leave so he can keep an eye on me. We mostly just hang around the house, watching movies and kissing and cuddling inbetween Anna's naps. I'm in her room giving her a bath in the little plastic tub we have and she's laying back again against my hand that's supporting her back while my other hand splashes warm water over her belly and she squirms around and shrieks, her eyes wide and I can tell she loves it so I keep going, splashing her with warm water and she squeaks again and I laugh at her, smiling wide as her eyes are focused right on my face. "You like baths baby girl? Daddy likes them too. Maybe when you're a little older you can have bubbles and we'll get you some rubber duckies to play with and we can always have fun at bath time." She squeaks again and I chuckle down at her, picking her up out of the water and carrying her to the waiting towel on her change table. The second I remove her from the water she starts screaming and crying and I try to shush her. "Shh I know Anna it's cold but daddy will work really quickly" I tell her softly as I wrap the towel around her, wiping her dry before picking her up and she quietens down, just making little whimpers as I cuddle her to my chest in her towel. "I know baby, daddy's sorry it's so cold" I tell her as I gently bounce her side to side and she nuzzles her face in my shirt and starts suckling at the fabric. "Aww someone's hungry" I hear Frank coo and I turn to see him in the doorway holding her bottle. I smile at him before turning back to the table and laying her down again, working quickly through the screams she's emitting as I put a diaper on her and dress her in warm pyjamas, pulling little socks on her feet to keep them warm before wrapping her in her blanket and picking her up again. "Shhh hey it's alright now Anna, no need for all the noise, daddy's right here." I walk over to Frank and grab the bottle, placing it to her mouth and she closes her eyes as she starts suckling, drinking her formula as we walk to the living room and sit on the couch, Frank turning up the heat a little as I start to shiver too. When he joins us on the couch he pulls me to lay against his side while Anna is cradled in my arms drinking and when she's done he takes her and burps her before handing her back and cuddling me close as both Anna and I fall asleep.

The next day Mikey comes over for a while and we hang out until I realise it's time for my appointment with Dr Saporta. "I'll take you" Mikey offers and I go with him, kissing Frank goodbye at the door before leaving. On the way there Mikey says "So, Frank mentioned you were..." "So he's talking about me behind my back?" I snap and Mikey says "No no Gee it's not like that at all. He's worried about you, and so am I." "I'm fine Mikey, I wish you guys would get off my case." "You're 40 pounds underweight Gerard, remember what happened last time you relapsed like this? You almost fucking died Gee, the next heart attack is likely to kill you, the doctor told you that. How could you do that to your little girl?" I burst into tears and as I go to open the door and get out Mikey touches my arm. "Shit Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell it's just, I dunno what id do if you weren't around anymore and it's the same for Frank and now for Anna. We need you around, more than you realise we do and we don't want to see you hurting anymore." We both lean in for a hug and I say "I'm sorry Mikes" into his ear before pulling away and getting out, going in to the waiting room.

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