You're Beautiful To Me

When I wake up again I am laid out on the bed and when I turn my head to look over Franks side is empty. I sit up quickly, my head spinning with the motion but the sight I'm met with sobers me up again and I feel my heart start to crack. Three large suitcases are lined up by the door, various items of Franks missing off the table across the room and when I launch myself off the bed and frantically open his drawers they're empty. I feel the breath leave my body as my knees start to buckle but I launch myself across the room on shaky legs, the walls spinning slightly as I collapse to my knees in front of the bags and work on getting the first one open. After a few long seconds of fumbling I finally manage to get it open and I start grabbing handfuls of clothes, ripping them from the bag and throwing them across the floor as an ugly choked off sob escapes me and tears start streaming down my cheeks again. "What are you...." I hear being said and when I snap my head up Frank is dropping to his knees on the other side of the suitcase, his face angry as he grabs my wrists, halting my movements as he squeezes too hard. "What the fuck are you doing? Stop" he snaps and I let out another whine as he releases my hands and they fall limply into my lap. "Please" I sob and his eyes flicker slightly, the anger replaced by sadness for a brief second before the anger comes back again and he sighs as he says "I'm not doing this anymore Gerard, it's done." I sit in shock, unable to move as I watch him stand again and cross the room, collecting all his clothes again and bringing them back to shove in the bag and by the time he has it closed again I feel on the edge of passing out, the room spinning and fading away as I watch him gather up the bags and leave the room, walking out on me and taking my will to live with him.

TWO YEARS LATER

The front door slams hard, making it feel like it's rattling the whole house and fast footsteps sound down the hall, a blur of black rushing past the living room doorway. I slowly push myself up off the couch, the room spinning slightly from the sudden movement and I stay still for a few seconds, rocking slightly on my feet until I regain my balance and I slowly pick my way across the messy living room. It's been two years since Frank walked out on me and my whole life has fallen apart. I tried so hard to keep it together for the kids but I couldn't, relapsing into anorexia and I'm the smallest I've ever been since I was a teenager. I stumble down the hallway towards Allies room, out of breath and a little light headed by the time I get there and I brace one hand against the doorframe as I use the other to knock. "Baby? How was dads?" Allie having just returned from visiting Frank and Anna, who decided she didn't want to live with us anymore. I wait a few seconds before knocking again and I hear a muffled gasp before a soft whimper sounds out and I slowly open the door, finding Allie hunched over on her bed, her head tipped over her lap so her hair covers her. "Baby?" I try again and Allies head snaps up, her eyes wide and swollen and I let my eyes drift down from her face to her lap where her hands are resting, blood steadily pouring from the cut she just made on her forearm. "Baby" I breathe out again, stepping towards her when a sharp pain rips through my chest and Allie chokes out "He's so mean, he doesn't understand" but the room is starting to fade around the edges, my chest getting tighter and tighter and I can't breathe anymore, my legs buckling underneath me and I drop to the floor. Allies eyes go even wider as she jumps off the bed and drops down beside me, her warm hand resting on my arm as she says "Daddy? Are you...." "What's going....." She's cut off by a familiar male voice. "Oh shit" he gasps out as he crosses the room to drop down beside us, his hands grabbing my shoulders and gently laying me on the floor. "Frank" I gasp out, my heart rate speeding up and he slides one hand into mine as he slips his cell phone from his pocket, dialling 911. "Hey hey it's ok" he tries to reassure me as stays on the line with the operator and Allie lets out a low choked off sob. "Daddy" she whines out and I turn my head in her direction, the whole world seeming to slow down and I know this is it. "I love you baby" I breathe out staring directly into her eyes and she starts to sob uncontrollably, managing to choke out "I love you daddy." "Gee" Frank says softly and I slowly roll my head back in his direction. "Just hold on, it's gonna be ok" he tries but the pain is getting more and more intense and I can no longer really breathe. "Please take care of her" I groan out, the sound barely coming out but Franks staring intently at my face and he nods, tears streaming down his face and as my heart takes its last beat I swear I hear Franks voice sob out "I love you Gee" as he squeezes my hand but I know that can't be real, Frank, Anna and Allie flashing through my mind before everything goes black and nothing hurts anymore.

Notes

So this is it, the story is done. I hope you all enjoyed this crazy adventure I've made as much as I've enjoyed writing it. To everyone who has read this from beginning to end and has commented, thank you for taking the time, it truly means a lot to me.