You're Beautiful To Me

Later that night I'm woken by a loud wheezing sound that's cut off by a sob, warm hands reaching out to touch my arm and I quickly sit up, reaching out to turn the lamp on and I see Miles standing beside the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks and his mouth open trying to gasp in air. "Hey hey Shh it's ok" I say softly as I slide out of bed and kneel in front of him, my hands coming up to cup his cheeks and he whines before attempting to gasp in another breath, his eyes full of panic. "Baby you gotta breathe" I say softly and he shakes his head before choking out "Can't." "You can baby I promise you can. Come on breathe with me" I say before taking deep exaggerated breaths, Miles' panicked breaths eventually slowing down to match mine. "There we go, much better" I say softly, offering Miles a reassuring smile and he nods slowly, stepping forward and I let go of his cheeks and wrap my arms around him, pulling him into my chest as he buries his face in my neck. We stay where we are for a few seconds, my hand slowly rubbing up and down Miles' back as he melts further into my chest before I pull back and stand up, taking Miles' hand and leading him into mine and Franks bathroom on the other side of the room, flicking the light on and closing the door so it won't disturb Frank. I lead Miles to the sink and start the water, helping him splash some cool water on his face to help him calm down and once we're done in the bathroom we go back into the bedroom and I help Miles into the bed, climbing in after him and once we're both settled under the covers Miles cuddles into my side, his head resting on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around him again, softly humming until his breathing evens out and I know he's asleep again. I lay awake all night, unable to fall asleep again as my mind runs wild with worry.

A few hours after he falls back to sleep Miles starts to whimper in his sleep so I pull him closer to me and gently stroke his hair, leaning in to whisper in his ear "Shh baby it's ok. Daddy's got you, it's all gonna be ok" and he falls silent again, his body relaxing against mine again. As I'm still holding Miles I watch the light filtering around the edges of the blinds change, the room becoming more and more illuminated in the early morning light as the sun comes up and just as the room is bathed in a soft glow Frank stirs and opens his eyes, glancing over at me and looking surprised to see me awake. "Hey beautiful, how long have you been awake?" "Since 2.30" I tell him and he frowns before glancing down at Miles curled into my side. "Babe we need to do something about this, this isn't healthy, for either of you." "What am I mean to do Frank?" "Maybe it's time for some tough love. You keep babying him and he's gonna keep doing this and...." "So when he comes in in the middle of the night having a panic attack I'm meant to tell him to get back to bed? When he's crying I'm meant to just tell him to stop? What the fuck is wrong with you Frank?" "He's just going to keep playing it up if you keep treating him like this. He's seven years old and I get he's going through a lot but it's time he started to grow up. He's confused and I think he needs structure and discipline and...." I take a deep breath, ready to explode and Frank seems to finally realise how upset I am, my anger written all over my face so he climbs out of bed and goes into the bathroom without another word, my mind spinning with confusion about how he could be so heartless and a few seconds later I slide out of the bed and hurry across the room, ready to give Frank a piece of my mind.

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