I didn’t trust Lindsey with Gerard at all. I knew that she kissed him, and I know that Gerard didn’t do anything about it.

Gerard stared at her for a few minutes, but it was one of those, “I love you but I have someone else” looks. He used to look at me that way all the time. I wonder if Lindsey ever felt this way when I was around, or when he talked about the band, or when he was on stage.

And that’s when I realized something. Gerard was in love with the me that cleaned him up back in MCR’s revenge era. He was not in love with the Frank Iero that was a single dad. He was not in love with my 5 dogs which I was still trying to get back from Jamia. He wasn’t in love with clean, hygienic, solo singer Frank. He was in love with someone I tried to destroy.

I looked at them while they talked about art, and his fans, and their daughter. He would never talk about things like that to 2016 Frank, because he only talked about those things to people he loved. Once he calmed down enough, Lindsey left. Gerard went to bed and I told him I was going to work in my studio for a while.

I wasn’t totally lying though. I sat in my studio, looking in the mirror at my long, black hair with a hair shaving kit. I just stared for a minute.

He doesn’t love this version of you.

I shaved on side of my hair, slowly changing my hair back to the way it was so long ago.

He wants what you used to be.

I shaved on the other side, finishing the out line of my hair.

I walked to the bathroom in my studio area, using the sink to soak my hair so that I could trim it.

cut, trim, change.

I finished cutting my hair, and walked upstairs.

He loved your hair when it was red and black.

I grabbed my keys and walked towards my car. I started it up and drove down the road, in search of a beauty store so that I could buy red hair dye and a container of bleach. I quickly hunted down a 24 hour beauty salon, which was obviously still open considering it was only 7. I walked into the shop, briefly being greeted by a teenage girl with red hair, who recognized me immediately.

“Is that you Frank?” She asked. “It’s me, Grace!”

I looked at her for a moment, trying to take in the fact that she recognized me after not seeing me for 6 years. “Grace? How old are you now, 15, 16?”

She looked up at me. “Yeah. I miss you guys. How’s everyone?”

I took a minute to answer. “Gerard relapsed a month ago and we’re cleaning him up, but everyone else is doing great.”

“Oh no! She commented. “Where’s he staying?”

I bit my lip. “He’s staying at my place, Bandit and Lindsey have been visiting him though. I’m not sure if she’s trying to get back together with him or not.”

“Frank, do you have feelings for Gerard?” She asked. “You look so down about it. Did you cut your hair for him? Is that why you’re here?”

“I- Don’t tell anyone! We’ve been seeing each other, but I know he wants to be with the Frank who he kissed onstage, not the Frank I am now.”

“Frank!” She yelled. “If he didn’t want you, would he be seeing you?”

“Maybe. He had no interest in Lindsey until she got pregnant with his kid.” I laughed. “We were actually together when they got married. Of course, no one knew.”

Grace looked at me for a minute, grabbing the bleach, hair dye, and gloves. “Is this really what you want?”

“Yes. I kinda missed this haircut.”

I walked out of the store after paying for the dye. I sped down the road until I got home. I wrestled the key in the door and walked inside, where I saw a very awake Gerard sitting on the couch. He covered his mouth, I couldn’t tell if he did it out of joy or disgust.

“You cut your hair?!” He yelled. “I knew there was something up with you! I couldn’t find you in the studio, and there was hair everywhere and I couldn’t find your keys.”

I stared at him. “I’m dying the sides red. It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“Why did you cut it in the first place?” Gerard questioned, resting his head on his hand.

“You don’t love the clean, hygienic Frank Iero.” I said. “You love the Frank who cleaned you up the first time. The Frank who kissed you onstage in almost every performance.” He stared at me, and I knew that it was true. “You love your rhythm guitarist, not the man who broke up My Chemical Romance.”

Before he said anything, I ran back into the basement, locking my door. I was going to do this, even if he claimed he didn’t want me to. I opened the bottle of bleach, pouring in the powder-y substance and mixing them together. I put the bleach on the side of my hair and left it on for an hour. During that hour, I shaved my face and listened to Gerard knocking on the door and asking me to unlock the door, and after 20 minutes, I did. He stared at me in disbelief.

“Why?” Gerard asked, his eyes watering up. “Why did you think you weren’t enough?”

“You looked at her the way you used to look at me.” I added. “The ‘I love you but I’m seeing someone else’ face. I know it too damn well.”

He stared at me for a moment. “No, I didn’t. I felt bad for her because she didn’t want to leave but I did.”

“It’s a very similar face, apparently.” I looked down at my phone. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go rinse my hair.” I finished.

I took a shower, briefly rinsed out my hair, and got out, putting on a pair of boxers and blow drying my hair. Once my hair dried, I added on the red.

---

Once I wait half an hour, I rinsed off the red, revealing a bright red color, slightly darker than Gerard’s was during Danger Days and the exact color mine was in Revenge. I walked back upstairs in nothing but a pair of underwear after blow drying my hair again. “Are you going to just pace around, or are you going to yell at me?” I commented.

“Just stop, Frank.”

“Why? I’m not doing anything wrong! You change your hair all the time! Why shouldn’t I?”

“Stop!” He yelled. “I’m sick of this! I don’t have a thing for Lindsey! I would’ve gone back to her if I did.”

“Not loving her doesn’t make you love me.” I spat.

“You’re the reason Lindsey kicked me out! She couldn’t handle me talking about how much I missed you everytime I got drunk!”

“Whatever, Gerard.” I spat in annoyance. “I’m going to sleep. You can sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. Talk to me once you cool the fuck off.”

Notes

Fighting Frank and Gerard...
Name from "Listening" by The Used