Best Friends Forever, But Not Now

I was driving to Ray’s house, where he always had us practice when we weren’t in the studio. I was pissed, but excited. I pulled up to Ray’s house, where Mikey was outside, waiting for me and Frank. About 5 minutes after I parked, Frank showed up. He slung his guitar case around his back and followed Mikey, Ray, and I into the house.

“Hi guys! Nice to see you again!” Christa greeted, everyone but Mikey and Ray ignoring her, mumbling things like “Thanks” and “Sorry it was so last minute” as we walked into the basement. Mikey had his silver bass in a case around his back in the same way that Frank had it as he carefully stepped down the stairs.

“What did you wanna play?” Ray asked, breaking the silence after everyone got their instruments out. “Like, our stuff? Or another artists stuff?” His eyebrows furrowed, showing a look of confusion. “Or are we just going to talk about the band before we worry about that?”

“I think we should talk about it a little bit…” Mikey suggested. “Like, are we back? Or do we even know?”

I spoke up. “I’m not too sure, can we like, talk about what would happen?”

“Well, do we all enjoy each other’s company? Because I’m pretty sure Gerard wants to kill me in my sleep…” Frank laughed. “Sorry for dumping your ass after you kissed your ex wife.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not here to see you, I’m here to make things right.” I snapped. Frank was getting on my nerves, in a sort of cute way which I needed to not think about.

“I’m part of the band, so if you’re here for the band, you’re also here for me.” Frank stated. “So, what do we need to talk about?”

“Real hotels to sleep in, PLEASE!” Ray yelled.

“Live Smiths covers!” Mikey suggested.

“Smaller venues.” Frank said.

“Personal space!” I laughed, staring Frank down as he blushed. “I’m kidding.”

“That’s what I thought.” Frank commented.

“Will both of you stop? Can we pretend that nothing happened between either of you since 2007?” Mikey complained. “I’m sick of you both acting like this band is about you two being together and nothing more. Ray and I deserve some of the choices in this band, I mean seriously! We broke up because Frank wanted Gerard to break up with Lindsey! We had no goddamned say in this!”

I was speechless, and so was Frank. He was right. We just told them we were out and left them, unemployed and confused with what to do. “Mikey, I’m sorry, I just—”

“This isn’t about you anymore, Gerard. This band was for the kids, it was their only hope and you and Frank demolished it. Do you know how many kids killed themselves over our breakup? How many kids isolated themselves and started cutting? That was our goddamned fault because they weren’t ready to lose something that took up so much space in their lives.” Ray interrupted.

We all shut up for a minute. What else were we supposed to do? Ray just brought up that we’re the reason a bunch of fucking kids died, are we supposed to ignore that? Instead of talking, the rest of the guys tuned their instruments and I went to the bathroom down here, where I’d always done vocal warm ups, but instead of singing, I was crying against the door, trying to make it sound like my sobs were just my singing voice, until Frank came in to check on me.

“What do you want?” I whimpered, sobbing into my hoodie.

“C’mere Gee.” Frank said, hugging me. “It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have done any of the shit that I did. I’m the reason the band broke up, not you. I shouldn’t have asked you to break up with her. It wasn’t fair to you.” He comforted me, hugging me and wiping my eyes. “You’re the only friend I’ve really got right now other than my ex wife, I can’t afford to fuck that up again.”

“What do you mean? Weren’t you and Bert friends?” I commented, refraining from crying, forcing my voice to creak.

“He saw you passed out with a bottle of wine in your hand after our fight and he ditched me.” He continued. “Bert’s always gonna side with you, man. You guys made out every night for an entire goddamned tour and it was annoying as hell.” He chuckled.

I laughed lightly, the tears starting to stop. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He comforted. “Let’s clean you up and get back out there.” Frank got a washcloth and put it over my eyes.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I didn’t think you wanted the guys to know you were crying, and those puffy red eyes are proof.” He answered.

“Thanks. How long do I have to sit like this?”

“Let’s check.” He lifted up the washcloth, looking back into my eyes. “I think you’re all good. Let’s go.”

Frank left before I did, immediately being questioned by Ray. “Were you making out with Gerard
or something?”

“No! You guys need to stop assuming this kind of shit.” Frank defended, I walked out a few minutes later.

“You okay, man?” Frank asked, checking up on me.

I nodded my head, “Yeah, so should we play something?”

“The Ballad of Blonde Haired Gerard!” Mikey joked.

“Seriously, Mikey?!” I laughed.

“We haven’t played Disenchanted since like 3 years before the band broke up, why not try that?” Frank suggested. No goddamn it don’t do this to me!

“Okay.” I agreed. “Sound good to you guys?”

The guys all nodded and started to play. I started to sing along, but I choked out at “I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene.” The rest of the guys continued to play so I ignored it and sang. Once we were done with the song, Frank looked over at me, mouthing “are you okay?” and I shook my head in response. “Do you guys mind if I take a smoke break?” I asked.

“You smoke? I thought you quit?” Mikey asked.

“I did, but then I started again.”

Notes

Chapter title from Face to Face's song "Blind"
I'm sort of putting them back together. Really hoping this turns out well!