Jamia drove me to the hospital, looking over at me occasionally.

“Are you okay?” She asked, sincerity filled her voice.

“No, not at all. I wasted all my money on drugs when I should be spending it on the kids. I’m the worst dad ever.” I commented. “I’m a pretty awful person in general.”

“Stop with the negativity, Frank! You might need to catch up on child support and grow some balls, but you aren’t that bad. None of this is on you, it’s on whatever drugs you’ve got.” I sat there for a minute, thinking about that. None of this bullshit is my fault, it’s my addiction. Jamia turned to me again, “Are you going to apologize to Gerard? I’m sure he doesn’t want to erase you from his life, you were his best friend for 12 years, none of your mistakes can take that away.”

“He’s not going to answer my calls. It’s not that fucking easy.”

“Then go to his house. Tell him that you are sorry for being an ass.”

We briefly stopped by Jamia’s house to pick up the kids and pay the babysitter, who Jamia thanked for at least ten minutes straight. We drove for about twenty more minute until we arrived at the hospital, walking towards Cherry’s room excitedly since she’d be coming home in two days. We walked into the room, where she was lying down, still asleep. Lily and Miles chased behind me until I sat down, picking up Miles and putting him on my lap while Lily sat on Jamia’s lap.

Cherry woke up after about ten minutes, looking around the room and realizing I had come to visit her today. Her eyes widened along with her smile.

“Daddy!” She yelled.

“Hi, Princess!” I responded.

“Where were you?”

“I got sick, honey, you know I get sick a lot.”

“Oh.” She finished.

---

After visitation was over, Jamia dropped the kids off at home and calling a babysitter.

“Where are we going, my place is that way?” I asked, confusion filing my voice.

“You’re going to apologize to Gerard in the friendliest way you can think of because him and Lindsey are back together meaning that you can’t pull any “I love you” lines, good?”

“Fine.” I agreed. “But you and I both know this is a big ass lie.”

Jamia drove on until we reached Gerard’s street, where she pulled over a few houses down from Gerard’s house.

“Go get ‘em,” She joked. “I’ll wait here.”

I walked down the street until I reached his house. Bandit and Lindsey were playing with dolls in the front yard and laughing loudly until I interrupted them.

“Hey Lindsey.”

“What do you want? Gerard’s getting over another relapse because of you.”

That hit me like a brick. My job was to help him, not break him. “I wanted to apologize to him, but he blocked my number. I miss my best friend.”

“Alright, he’s in his office. Upstairs to the right.”

“Thanks…” I paced up towards the house and let myself in, following Lindsey’s directions until I walked into a small room, filled with bookshelves and sketchbooks and different art supplies. I noticed Gerard was sitting at his computer desk with his headphones on, browsing through twitter. I rubbed his shoulder softly to let him know I was here. He turned around, his eyes growing huge.

“What the hell do you want, Frank?” He yelled, annoyance in his voice.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m fucking sorry. I’m sorry for fucking your life up with my own. Jamia drove me here because she found me wasted and high in my house and she wanted me to talk to you.”

“I don’t fucking care, you told me to get wasted, I didn’t pressure you into it at all.”

“My point is, Gerard, you’re my best friend, fuck all theshit we pulled, I need my best fucking friend.”

“Go get fucking Dewees then. I don’t want to deal with you.”

“You really don’t fucking understand, do you? I need the fucking band, this isn’t about you, it’s about the fact that I have tried to kill myself 7 times since that stupid band broke up. My wife left me out of fear that the kids would find me dead in my studio.”

“I can’t fucking help you. Mikey’s got his hands full with his fiance and Electric Century touring, Ray’s trying to take care of his kid, and I’m going to Asia for a tour in a few months. That band was an important thing, but you’re the one who ended it, and you shouldn’t punish us for this bullshit.”

“I’m asking for you to fucking try, I don’t expect a tour, or an album. I expect to not want to die so much! I don’t want to be your boyfriend, I want to be your bandmate and best friend.” I lied.

“You know what? Fine. We’ll have a fucking meeting as a band. Tomorrow at noon. I’ll call the guys.” He was almost screaming.

“Sounds good to me, unblock me so I can know if they can make it.” I paced out of the office and out the door, walking towards Jamia’s car and getting in.

“How’d it go?” She asked.

“The band’s having a meeting tomorrow and I’m pretty sure Gerard almost punched me in the face.”

“Is that good?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I got him so pissed that he agreed.”

“Alright then, let’s get you home.”

Notes

Sorry it took me so long to update this! MCR's back instead of Lindsey dying! Yay! Chapter title from "Drowning Lessons" by MCR